Happiness 28 replies

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Totes

Misanthrope

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7th January 2011

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#1 6 years ago

Why is it so damn hard to find?

I have been feeling downright shitty the past few days. This is ironic on many levels, because some problems that I'd been having and some decisions that had been haunting me have finally been taken care of.

Yet, even with a "clear conscience" you could say, and with my problems behind me...I'm still unhappy. It isn't guilt. It's straight-up unhappiness, and I can't figure out why. I have "friends" everywhere. Both in "real life" and in this magical place that has become my home-away-from-home, so to speak. But somehow I still feel so alone, it's almost unbearable.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything crazy like that. I might be unhappy but I do like my life somewhat. I just...I don't know. I've even felt like leaving the Forums recently. Never thought I'd have that feeling.

EDIT: I don't want to seem all whiney. Just needed to talk about it, I guess.




Nemmerle Forum Mod

Voice of joy and sunshine

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26th May 2003

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#2 6 years ago

Do you have any strongly expressed interests?

Do your friends share those interests?




Ryojin

lolwut?

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8th September 2006

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#3 6 years ago
Totes;5605853Why is it so damn hard to find?

I've been looking for an answer to that question my entire life, and still have yet to find a decent answer.


Disclaimer: Personal opinions still not endorsed by Ryojin.



Admiral Donutz VIP Member

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#4 6 years ago

Getting a serious relationship would help a lot, I for sure do feel a lot happier. Having somebody who can physically and mentally make you happy is quite satisfying. (And if she starts bitching, you may find satisfaction in dumping her :lol: ).




Silberio VIP Member

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#5 6 years ago

I'd go mostly for what Donutz say... Despite I am on a long distance relationship (which makes it really hard), I do feel I have that support I've needed whole my life. Also, aren't you also almost in same place as me, Donutz?

Anyhow, after some recent research and philosophical enlightment, I've come up to that the most important point in life, and one of the pelars of happines, is love; mutual affectional love that is. And it's something kind of hard to explain, given that society has put a really hard lead roof on top of what love really means.

Yeah, it's important to have friends... But this will usually cover up only; what I mean is that like... You can go out witht them, speak with them, and feel happy, but when you get home after that time, the depressed feeling will come again. Which is not the case of having someone, where you know that person is always there.

Yet, it's one of the hardest things to find, I'd say... Thanks to society, IMHO. It's really hard for one to find a really nice girl without the risk of being friendzoned or finding the wrong one... Aswell as it is for a good, true girl to find a nice guy. It's hard, but it's there.

Try seeing it this way... Don't give a fuck about much around you. Try relaxing and taking care of yourself, listen to yourself before others. It may sound selfish, but it's what got me to the man (or kid) I am now. It helps... I guess it's kind of reaching Nirvana in Buddhism. I know you, Totes, are Christian... So I hope you don't take that bad that I lead you to another 'religion' =p

So yeah... Hope it turns out alright. Also, never give up whatever dream you have. I know you play guitar; never leave that if you really like it. I've chosen to study social studies and it has no music class whatsoever... And I really regret it. I might go study outside Sweden, so I don't really have the opportunity to add a music class to my current program... Oh well.

But most importantly, give yourself some time, and listen to yourself. Alone, put your fav' music on, masturbate, relax... Learn better about who you are and your thoughts... And whatever you find, it's not wrong. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is true... And everything is permitted.

May Baldir bless ye and enlight thine way.

EDIT: Sorry for the long post... I got... Inspired ._.


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rebornintheglory

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20th January 2006

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#6 6 years ago

Totes;5605853Why is it so damn hard to find?

I have been feeling downright shitty the past few days. This is ironic on many levels, because some problems that I'd been having and some decisions that had been haunting me have finally been taken care of.

Yet, even with a "clear conscience" you could say, and with my problems behind me...I'm still unhappy. It isn't guilt. It's straight-up unhappiness, and I can't figure out why. I have "friends" everywhere. Both in "real life" and in this magical place that has become my home-away-from-home, so to speak. But somehow I still feel so alone, it's almost unbearable.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything crazy like that. I might be unhappy but I do like my life somewhat. I just...I don't know. I've even felt like leaving the Forums recently. Never thought I'd have that feeling.

EDIT: I don't want to seem all whiney. Just needed to talk about it, I guess.

You haven't really said very much in this post. It mostly just amounts to 'I'm unhappy' without any real specifics. I guess if that is what you consider 'talking about it' then I hope it helps. Otherwise don't be surprised when this thread does absolutely nothing for you.

One thing I will say sort of in response to the suggestion that being in a relationship will make you happier. Yeah, I guess. Lots of things will make you happier in degrees. It won't change anything really though. It's the same as thinking that having more money or being more attractive or being more popular will make you happy. These things are all attainable, but once you reach these goals you will find yourself right back where you started from. Having 'a soul mate' or all the things you desire will not complete you, simply because you are not a creature that can be fulfilled by these sorts of things. Love is nice I guess and I really like money, but you will always be unhappy if you see unhappiness as a problem that needs to be solved in order to 'become happy'. Maybe a bit of a newflash to you but I am fairly willing to bet that neither of us knows a single person who is 'truly happy', simply because such a thing does not exist. The world in this case is just made up of people who have accepted their situations and decided to try to do something positive with their lives and those that are 'oh so unhappy' and spend their time wondering just what it will take for them to join the ranks of the merry few.

I don't know if you actually think anything like this obviously because your post basically said absolutely nothing about you or your situation, but there I wrote some things and hopefully it will get my whatpulse count up.

Also I think the poster before me just recommended masturbation as a cure for unhappiness. Sage advice coming from someone who talks about 'philosophical enlightenment' and 'reaching nirvana'. Take that as you will I suppose




Admiral Donutz VIP Member

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#7 6 years ago
Einherjar Silberio;5605952I'd go mostly for what Donutz say... Despite I am on a long distance relationship (which makes it really hard), I do feel I have that support I've needed whole my life. Also, aren't you also almost in same place as me, Donutz?

Yep I am, my girlfriend is in Thailand. Getting her here permanently seems to get harder day by day. A ton of restrictions and ofcourse increased costs while the right wing coalition hammers about the "importance of supporting yourself, self responsibility and being independant". The irony. As I mentioned in an other thread, now I'll have to get married in order to apply for a long term residence permit. Not to mention increased exam levels (immigrants have to do an exam about NL culture and language at the Dutch embassy in their country) and so on. It gives us a great many headaches, so much for simply giving us the chanche to be together when we think it's wise to do so. We don't have any plans to "leech of the social welfare system". But these days the "anti western immigrant" policies are rather popular. Who cares about the immigrants from the 60's and their offspring being very much different from the immigrants that try to get into Europe these days, who cares about the many many different countries, religions, cultures, backgrounds, motives and plans that all these people have? As far as the coalition goverment is concerned all non western immigrants are the same and a potential threat to the wellfare system. :cort:

But we'll get there. In March I'll fly to Thailand and in April my gf will join me in the Netherlands for 3 months. :love: So despite the various difficulties I'm a very happy and lucky man. :)




Hfx-Rebel VIP Member

AzH owns my ass

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#8 6 years ago

I agree with most of Reborn's post, and at this point, maybe go back and re-read it. However, I do think that having a 'soulmate' (if this is the source of your unhappiness) is something to go after (just like Donutz) There is something to be said about sharing your life with another. The problem is, it's not like you can sit there and say, I must go shopping for a soulmate... this is something that'll happen when it happens.

Donutz"anti western immigrant"

You mean I'm not welcome there? :(




Silberio VIP Member

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#9 6 years ago

:agreed

You won't achieve much by trying to find one... As I told you, just relax and let things flow. Do whatever you can do right now that feels good.

Also I think the poster before me just recommended masturbation as a cure for unhappiness. Sage advice coming from someone who talks about 'philosophical enlightenment' and 'reaching nirvana'. Take that as you will I suppose

I really do not know how to take that. But to clear out some misunderstandings, I did not say masturbation was a cure for unhappiness... In my opinion, there is as much cure for unhappiness as there is for hunger, hope you understand what I mean. Another thing... I am not follower of a certain religion or philosophy.


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#10 6 years ago

*hugs the totes*

I don't have any sage advice, but I would caution against using a relationship to cure your woes.