How to annoy my neighbors 26 replies

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Shintsu

For the glory of Helghan

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9th April 2005

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#1 11 years ago

I swear, I hate all my neighbors. They're the most ignorant and obnoxious bunch of idiots anywhere. They sit out on their porch for damn 4 or 5 hours, up to past midnight just talking. I went out and acted like I was looking for something in my car and oops, I bumped my air horn. The little assholes just beeped their horn in response. Any idea on something I can do to get these country bumpkins to want to move away?




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#2 11 years ago

I would join them. Sittin' on the porch chatin' and night sounds like a good time to me.




Ryette

suburban baroness of bud

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19th April 2005

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#3 11 years ago
Afterburner;3702476I would join them. Sittin' on the porch chatin' and night sounds like a good time to me.

Was thinking the same, actually.

May I suggest earplugs, Shintsu? My family is the type that sits in the living room until 3-4AM conversing while I'm trying to get some sleep before I have to go to school...earplugs or my mp3-player = lifesaver.




Shintsu

For the glory of Helghan

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9th April 2005

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#4 11 years ago

Honestly though, it's humid outside. I've had my window open for a few hours and I'm starting to get hot so I had to close the window. I just don't see why these people aren't inside watching TV or on the computer or doing something. It's one thing to sit out during a nice breezy sunny day but in the middle of the night with mosquitoes and pesky bugs all hot and sticky doesn't sound like any fun to me. Besides they don't need to talk so damn loud that I can hear them across the street.




Relander

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8th April 2005

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#5 11 years ago

It's their right, chit-chat doesn't count as public disturbing. Close your windows and use earplugs/MP3: problem solved. If you think they're talking too loud, you could always approach them in polite manner and bring the issue up. Perhaps soften them with a cake or something before doing so?




[ST]PAdm-Medafusion

ugh hangovers

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5th August 2004

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#6 11 years ago

I would bring a friend and have a watergun fight like at 1 am in the morning and he would duck and i would accedently shoot em with water lol or MUA HA HA HA HA use something that will stein lol.




Overwatch

Woot!

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6th June 2005

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#7 11 years ago

Put on music very loud, pointing toward their house, btw I could use some of these ideas, as I have bad neighbours BOTH sides of my house, I woke up at 4am once, to the sounds of drunk people shouting stupid things in the pool; such as "Do a mangina!"




Mr. Matt VIP Member

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17th June 2002

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#8 11 years ago
Shintsu;3702472Any idea on something I can do to get these country bumpkins to want to move away?
  • Place a decomposing haddock somewhere out-of-sight on their porch.
  • Each night at midnight, release hordes of vampire bats and scream out maniacally, "FLY MY PRETTIES, FLY! MWAHAHAHAAAA!"
  • Buy every woofer that you can, prop them up against the wall on their side, and play the most obnoxious rap music you can find at extremely high volumes. Occasionally scream out, "take it, bitch!"
  • Begin to simulate the sounds of extremely... bizarre sexual encounters as loudly as possible. Or perform them for real, if you can.
  • Periodically dash around your garden with an active chainsaw, swinging it around over your head and cackling insanely.
  • Buy a bunch of B-movie props, including lifelike severed limbs, fake blood, and if possible squishy internal organs. Or get the real thing, if you really are insane. Then place a large altar in your garden and begin to perform bizarre rituals on the bloody morass, and pretend you are a necromancer seeking to raise an army of undead warriors from the Indian burial ground beneath your garden.
  • Begin to come on to your neighbours. The male one if possible.
  • Take up nudism. A lot.
  • Set off extremely large quantities of powerful fireworks every night at about 3am. Make sure the displays last a long time.
  • Buy an English Springer Spaniel, or three.
  • Whenever you have car trouble, work on it in the early hours of the morning. Take particular care to rev up often and loudly.
  • Set fire to their house.
  • Set fire to them.
  • Regularly knock on their door, and each time they open it, lick their face and run away giggling.
  • Get a bunch of people dressed as SWAT to storm your house, fire off a few blanks, and occasionally scream things like "MY GOD NO!" and "I'M GONNA BE SICK!" and "THAT'S DISGUSTING, OH SHIT!"
  • Buy large quantities of extreme bondage gear, and hang it out to dry in your garden in full view.
  • Randomly set off controlled explosions from your basement, ensuring lots of colorful smoke billows from inside.
  • Become a Spice Girls fan. Loudly.
  • Ask them if they have any spare babies lying around that you could 'have'. For dinner.
  • Build a model trebuchet, and use their porch as target practice.
  • Buy an M249, and use their porch as target practice.
  • Buy an M1A2 main battle tank, and use their porch as target practice.
  • Buy a 40 megaton tactical nuclear missile, and use their porch as target practice.
  • Eat lots of curry and hope that the farts drive them away.
  • Buy a Lada, and try to start it in the early hours of the morning. Every morning. All morning. Forever.
  • Claim that you have found an unexploded bomb in your back garden, but you couldn't get near it because whenever you tried your blood boiled and you felt sick. Refuse to call bomb disposal.
  • Coat your entire house in tinfoil. When asked why, explain that you have recently been abducted and probed - severely - by aliens, and you are coating your house to prevent them from scanning your brain.
  • Stand out in your garden all night, looking straight up at the sky none-stop. If asked, explain that you're just keeping an eye out for 'them'.
  • Turn your neighbourhood into a warzone! Establish barbed wire fences, sandbag fortifications and minefields all around your neighbour's house. If they successfully manage to leave their house without being shredded or blown up, unleash machine guns on their ass and continue to fire at them as they jump into their car and drive away.
  • Inform your neighbours that you have developed a new type of orgasm machine, and you are looking for two subjects to test it. If by some stretch of the imagination they agree, begin visibly bringing home large quantities of chains, ropes, handcuffs and nails.
  • Make muffled screaming sounds from your basement. When they inquire about them, explain that it's just your sex slave trying to break free.
  • When at home, make a point of wearing women's clothing. Make it slutty if possible.
  • Inform your neighbours that you have established a portal to hell in your dining room, and invite them to join you in exploring it.

I could keep going, but this is already too long-winded. Suffice to say, there are plenty of ways of driving away your neighbours! Alternatively you could just wear ear plugs, or have a civilised conversation with them about it, but... pfft... where's the fun in that?




Admiral Donutz VIP Member

Wanna go Double Dutch?

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9th December 2003

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#9 11 years ago

I can't see what your neighbours are doing wrong, if they want to sit outside that is their choice. Depending on the circumstances I don't blame them, but even if it would involve a blizzard I wouldn't really care.

If they do annoy you with other things you can always walk up to them and have a conversation.

If that isn't an option then Mr. Matts list should do fine.




Junk angel

Huh, sound?

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29th January 2007

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#10 11 years ago

and with do they actually annoy you, it's not like you're trying to sleep :).

And I doubt they're exactly shouting.

Some people just prefer to be outside, instead of being in the whole time. And some people enjoy the night far more than the day.