crisissuit3;4605420well, what really sparked me on thinking about this thread was when my dad came home from a 3 week vacation with his family. and when he came home, it was just. *hugs* "welcome back" and then we act like he never left. then i started to look back on what my relations with my family was like. my conclusion, small talk. thats basically all i could remember was things like, "im home" "hi" "i love you" and stuff like that. also, one of my aunt is about to leave soon and I never talked with her, and whats makes me feel bad is that she's about to leave soon and i havn't done anything with her. or my grandparents, all i can remember doing when my grandfather was still alive was play around while he was on his death bed and as i look back, i tell myself im the most cold hearted bastard that could possibly ever live. i mean, on his death bed, and im just running around with my brother or playing games right in front of him. although, i also understood why i never connected with him, its because we spoke different languages but i still felt like i could have done more. same thing with my grandmother. she still has a long time ago, but we move in a year and, i never knew her well either, and again, she speak the language on my mothers side. so, in a year, we may never see each other again. on my fathers side, my grandmother died when i was too young to remember, so i guess it makes sense, but i did the same thing with my dads father as well, just play around. i even went to his funeral and all i could think about was going home or getting something to eat. hold on while i wipe the tears from my eyes for remembering this... I do the same thing with my dads brothers and sisters, just small talk and its off to something else, like the TV. the only real conversation i remember is with my dads brother, we spent about an hour or 2 talking about random things. thats the only real discussion i ever had with any of my family members. now with the family i live with. my brother and I are somewhat connected, since were brothers and have plenty of fun togethor. my mother. again, just small talk and i see her the most, and its just me on the computer while she cooks or watchs or shows. and my dad is possibly the farthest off of anyone of my family, the only time we really talk is when i have a mental nuke blast and he has to talk to me to calm down. I dont know why, hold on more tears... done, i want to know my family before something happens that i may never get a chance to talk to them again. what make me even feel worst is, will i do this to my kids? or wife? is it the age difference, or what, i just dont know whats keeping me from really being intune with my family.
Ask yourself what familly really is. It is blood. You can be eather proud or ashamed by it but both ways you belong to it. I can tell you I have a grand father that took care of me when I was a child and he raised me. Now I find him too old and unuseful. Am I a cold hearted bastard? Probably. I realised once that my familly doesn't really matter to me...it is only courtesy that I speak to most of them because of the blood. Probably the one I would miss the most would be my mother. However I am at university now and I don't really like it...the only thing I miss is my girlfriend. So you still have those tears for being a bad person?
Spend an hour or half an hour each day at least and try to fix relations. Take some time off the computer.
It's all fine as long as you don't do something to really bad to split yourself from the family though. This isn't something that's to divisive and can't be addressed. One of the best things you can do is just strike up a conversation, remember a birthday or something they've done. That goes a long way, and it doesn't require too much of your personal time.
I have this same problem,but so does viturally everyone else. I consider my freinds like a 2nd family becuase I spend much more time with them and enjoy hanging with them alot more but I think most people are that way. My mom and I are pretty close because we've been through some crazy shit together. At the moment I live with my grandpaernts (mostly because of location) and we really dont get along that well and I especially dont get along with my extended family. Most of that side are hard core conservatives and they have singled me out as a "bleeding heart liberal" beacause Im not a racist bible beater like them. So all I can say Is just do what makes you happy. Be grateful If you have good freinds and probably the best thing is to not dread on it , becuase like everyone else has said most people hate their family.
17th June 2002
I'd congratulate you for achieving what so many strive for. After all, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your pet iguana.
saw a post or 2 about me hating my family. no i dont hate them, I just feel as though we dont communicate with each other enough, like my aunt who is about to leave soon.
Mr. Matt;4607078I'd congratulate you for achieving what so many strive for. After all, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your pet iguana.[/quote] if only i had an iguana... that wore a tuxedo... and shot lazers from his chest... in the shape of hearts. [quote=nist;4607091]hi i am babai das