Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? 25 replies

357,144 XP

17th June 2002

33,704 Posts

#1 15 years ago

One student attempts to explain.

An e-mail The following is 'supposedly' an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.........leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A+

The cream of the crop

228,590 XP

20th August 2003

21,534 Posts

#2 15 years ago

:lol:

qotsa

Proceeds the Weedian

50 XP

24th November 2003

7,424 Posts

#3 15 years ago

Hahaha..good :lol:

yod@

I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)

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14th April 2004

4,898 Posts

#4 15 years ago

:rofl:, that version of many hells may be true though with the number of relegions we have

Sh0wdowN

Skeptic Extraordinaire.

50 XP

31st December 2003

7,942 Posts

#5 15 years ago

One of the best things ever :rofl:

Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

#6 15 years ago

Damn....I never looked at it that way before.

202,715 XP

7th March 2003

19,294 Posts

#7 15 years ago

:lol: that was funny as hell.

kayll

I'm too cool to Post

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9th September 2007

506 Posts

#8 15 years ago

lol good stuff

*Soviet.Power

Ex-Mø&#273;&#281;R&#257;&#359;&#511;r ø&#8355; Ge&#328;&#281;r&#257;&#322; G&#257;mí&#328;&#285;

91,380 XP

31st January 2004

8,283 Posts

#9 15 years ago

That was funny, good find :lol:

Grimme

I like you

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3rd July 2004