Is this ok? 18 replies

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#1 8 years ago

My friend's mother is constantly verbally abusing him. Saying things like" You are worthless and are never going to amount to anything." She also calls him a fuck up, stupid and a shithead etc...

Along with that, almost every night she drinks a lot and gets completely trashed, sometimes to the point where she thinks I am my friend's father.

Is this ok, or is there a problem with the situation?




Snow_Flake

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#2 8 years ago

Telling your children that they will never amount to anything for no reason is not right, it could be understandable if he smokes dope all the time and/or does nothing at all.




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#3 8 years ago

He's not a stoner, but I know he drinks alone sometimes.




redgroupclan

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#4 8 years ago

Sounds like that mom needs some counseling.




Granyaski VIP Member

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#5 8 years ago

Theres no need to ask anyone elses opinion really. If what you said is 100% accurate thats textbook.




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#6 8 years ago
Stratopwn3r;5413669Along with that, almost every night she drinks a lot and gets completely trashed, sometimes to the point where she thinks I am my friend's father.[/QUOTE] If that's true, then his mother is a hypocrite. She insults her son while at the same time she's no better than him, given the fact they both drink. I don't know the whole story, so I assume his drinking habit is the reason for that, or at least part of the reason. Without knowing the whole story and hearing it from both sides, it's impossible to make a fair judgment. [QUOTE=Stratopwn3r;5413669]Is this ok, or is there a problem with the situation?

It's definitely not ok. This is called psychological (or emotional) abuse.




Schofield VIP Member

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#7 8 years ago

It is definitely not ok. I'm assuming he is your age since you called him a "friend", why you put that in quotations is beyond me. However, I received psychological abuse from my grade 8 math/science teacher when I was 11/12. It is usually more effective at a younger age, but mine was from a teacher, not a parent, so it is definitely different. He should probably ask for some help to sort things out, it'll only get worse if he isn't standing up to her.




MrFancypants Forum Admin

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#8 8 years ago

Stratopwn3r;5413669My "friend's" mother is constantly verbally abusing him. Saying things like" You are worthless and are never going to amount to anything." She also calls him a fuck up, stupid and a shithead etc...

Along with that, almost every night she drinks a lot and gets completely trashed, sometimes to the point where she thinks I am my friend's father.

Is this ok, or is there a problem with the situation?

Sounds like a typical alcoholic. Of course that's not ok. The longer your friend is exposed to this the higher the chances that he will end up addicted or seriously messed up in some other way.




Lindale Forum Mod

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#9 8 years ago

[COLOR=orange]All too often, the parents will constantly nag on their children. If the children are doing things that are destructive to themselves, the parents wait for the children to get home. Upon arriving at home, the parents will give their children an ear full. This only results with children who think that their parents see them as nothing short of failures, and a constant source of disappointment.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange][/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]All too often, I see parents belittling their children. How many times have you heard, “Are you stupid?” The worst that I have heard is, “You will never amount to anything!” Parents just don’t seem to realize the impact of their words. They are using their authority in completely the wrong way, and just abusing it. If all you do is treat your children like failures, it is inevitable that they will end up being just that; failures. In the end, the parents have no one to blame but themselves.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]This also teaches your children that yelling and violence is an acceptable answer. This will cause rifts to form between families, which will tear these families apart. Upon becoming parents themselves, they unknowingly will bring up their own children in the same ways. Generation after generation, this same behaviour will continue. This breeds generations that see violence and war to be nothing short of a past time.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange][/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]The disrespectful behaviour that children display towards their parents can often be attributed to the fact that they feel as if their parents have let them down. As such, they no longer feel as if their parents are even worthy of respect. The sad thing is that most are correct; some parents indeed have forfeited their privilege of being respected. As a result, children begin to feel as if they are forced to turn to things such clothing, the people on MTV, and their classmates who are experiencing the same things.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange][/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]The media adds to the problem to a great degree. At best, a celebrity doing charity work might get a 30 second spot in the news, but someone in legal trouble like Nicolas Cage or Lindsay Lohan are in the news almost every day. When a bank robbery occurs, especially if it turns into a shootout, every television channel in the nation will abandon whatever they were doing, just to cover the story. The sad truth is that negative news does sell far better than positive news. With all of the negativity constantly being flaunted around, children begin to believe that destructive behaviour will earn them the attention that they so dearly crave.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange][/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]Their need for attention does definitely play a big part in their behaviour, as does their self esteem levels. Though most won’t admit it; our children want us to be proud of them. If a child were to work her arse off to bring her 3.0 average to a 4.0 grade, then her parents would simply come to expect that to be her grades in the future. If we could just learn to congratulate and praise our children for their accomplishments, they would be encouraged to perform their best.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]You should use you sick leave to take some time away from your job, just to spend time with your children, and do it often. You might think, “Well, I just can’t afford to do that.” You must ask yourself, what is worth more than your children? Whether they are small children, teenagers, or fully-grown, they never stop needing the guidance and approval of their parents. Even when they become parents themselves, they still need you to be there for them. If you desire to see your children find importance and value for themselves, you must first show them how important, and how valuable they are.[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]Those of you who have children would hate to even imagine a life without one or more of them, but I know 6 families who have to live with this reality, who have lost at least one of their beloved children. If you knew that your own child was going to die later this day, what would you say to them? What would you do for them?[/COLOR] [COLOR=orange] [/COLOR] [COLOR=orange]I have since come to realize that you can never spend enough time with your children. Even if there is laundry to be done, even if the sink is full of unwashed dishes, take your children outside and spend time with them. Play with them, read with them, laugh with them, cry with them, and just be there with them. They are what are truly important in your life. You can never know just how important they are until they're gone.[/COLOR]


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redgroupclan

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#10 8 years ago

That was one heck of a post, Lindale. You must have had quite the parenting experience.




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