Joke I was sent that you all might enjoy. 29 replies

Please wait...

AegenemmnoN VIP Member

The cream of the crop

228,590 XP

19th August 2003

0 Uploads

21,534 Posts

0 Threads

#1 12 years ago

Here's a prime example of "Men Are >From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph, sending a copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, copying me, and so on until the story is concluded." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary. (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. (second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. (Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent. (Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh what am I to do? I'm just an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" (Rebecca) A**hole. (Gary) Bitch (Rebecca) F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL! (Gary) Go drink some tea -- whore. (Teacher)A+ - I really liked this one.

(Gary) Go drink some tea -- whore.

:rofl:




Jackthehammer

You can either agree with meor be wrong.

50 XP

12th November 2003

0 Uploads

16,767 Posts

0 Threads

#2 12 years ago

Since you took the time to post it, I took the time to read it..

:lol: typical girl story..




DavetheFo

RogueDevil / Rogue Angel

50 XP

29th May 2003

0 Uploads

8,689 Posts

0 Threads

#3 12 years ago

Ah man thats good stuff.

Rep for teh Aeg.




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#4 12 years ago

HAHAH (Teacher)A+ - I really liked this one:rofl:




KoЯsakoff

Captain

50 XP

7th November 2003

0 Uploads

6,585 Posts

0 Threads

#5 12 years ago

Well I really liked this one.. Good story! I myself would rate it A+ :lol:




Huffardo

Arrrr!

48,770 XP

29th November 2003

0 Uploads

4,632 Posts

0 Threads

#6 12 years ago

:lol: Not what I would have expected from university students, that's more like high school level, but funny anyway. :)

Not that our similiar stories in senior high school would have been as divided, but you could certainly guess the gender of the author of especially the paragraphs with the gay bar...




Elektrakosh

Hiding from Mr. Otana

50 XP

10th April 2006

0 Uploads

756 Posts

0 Threads

#7 12 years ago

LOL heheheheheheh not bad




C38368

...burning angel wings to dust

50 XP

14th February 2004

0 Uploads

5,013 Posts

0 Threads

#8 12 years ago

I love those urban legends.

I saw that some years back, and it was mostly the same, except for the bit from the teacher. And it wasn't done via email, just in class :)

Not that I can't think of a couple people who might write a story like that anyway...




ScOrPY VIP Member

Advanced Member

50 XP

17th November 2003

0 Uploads

15,582 Posts

0 Threads

#9 12 years ago

That was hilarious. Had me laughing for a good few minutes. HAHA




ScOrPY VIP Member

Advanced Member

50 XP

17th November 2003

0 Uploads

15,582 Posts

0 Threads

#10 12 years ago

That was hilarious. Had me laughing for a good few minutes. HAHA