What does the Fox say?
23rd November 2002
So it is about time I got a social life.
A little background.
My parents left our hometown with one of the intents being to distance ourselves from relatives. We were also homeschooled, and otherwise had limited social interaction. We never established ourselves within a community, and had few contacts to pull on.
Now I've returned to my hometown, but I am largely a stranger here. I'm looking for advice on getting into the community.
I'm a bit of an intellectual, and I am productivity oriented. Unfortunately, I have a lack of established interests, or understanding about activities, past-times, and hobbies. That is, outside of some scifi, some video games, and some technical knowledge.
Do you have any advice for a person looking to jump start, or restart their social life, after several years of stagnation, and neglect?
Also, I lack a proper wage, having never desired a proper wage. My finances are in pretty poor shape at the moment.
Victim of Forgotten HopeForum bystander
26th April 2004
It's true that it's harder to get friends if you have few friends because many new connections are made based on existing ones, the friends of your friends etc.
But doing anything has a chance of friending with someone. If you get a job, you'll have workmates. If there's a shortage of hobbies and things to do, try something like volunteer work where new people are always appreciated?
Also, why not try to find people who live there from the Internet? It's funny how randomly friendships can start, like someone popped up in the same team as one of my friends in CS:GO multiplayer match-making and they've met in real-life after that as it occurred they both live in the same city.
Faktrl is Best Pony
10th September 2007
You could always apply for a public or civil service job. Might try working at the local library for a bit doing the rounds and making sure books are properly ordered and answering questions about the computers and the actual reading material.
It's a thought anyway, but IME, getting into a community is just something that takes time and usually starts one or two people at a time and then branches out across the landscape. Also, in my opinion, it's better to have a few really good friends than a lot of "average" friends, but I can understand wanting to be a part of a society and having a good name for yourself, so...just play it by ear and do what feels right is what I guess I would say.
Good luck, and have fun ~_^
"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.
Get a bicycle and chase other cyclists down. That's what I've done, works great.
In all seriousness, I'm not super at it either, I'm not sure anyone is. It takes quite a bit of meeting people. Out of 100 people, only a couple are going to be ones you want to be friends with, and who want to be friends with you. Try placing yourself in situations where you must interact with others a fair amount. Eventually a you'll click with a couple people.
17th June 2002
Most of my old friends have either got married, had kids (or both), or simply drifted away because I drink too much.
In my experience the best way to meet new people is in a pub/bar, but on a quiet day. Strike up a conversation with bar staff or anybody who happens to be nearby, and if it's quiet people will often join in. Before long you're sat with people, chatting.
Last week I had a debate about the merits of invading Russia, for example, which started just by pointing out that Putin is batshit insane.
I don't like football or anything either, but you'd be amazed at how many people have a soft spot for intellectuals - just as long as you're not arrogant about it.
SCHOFIELD DID 4/30
10th August 2004
No job? Might want to start on that first. Because seriously, work is one of the easiest places to make friends, you're locked up with them for eight hours a day, might as well have some fun while you're doing. People are usually receptive to that. Unless they are super swamped, but it is usually easy to tell when they are.
What does the Fox say?
23rd November 2002
Red Menace;5732783 No job? Might want to start on that first.
Got a job. 2nd Tier Tech Support/Network Support.
Everybody in this building has their own office, or is on a different floor. I have to stop working (read: slack off), and interrupt their jobs, to socialize. I'm a bit of a workaholic.
I did enjoy the friendships when working at Walmart, but those friends are in a different town.
Wanna go Double Dutch?
9th December 2003
That's why I prefer sharing an office space, so you can see your colleagues (unless you are working in an office with those silly screens/cubicals around every desk...) and chat a bit with them. Or go for a short strawl to get something to drink or other item and chat with some more colleagues down the hallway.
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