Need advice please 16 replies

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Guest

I didn't make it!

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#11 8 years ago

Again, thanks guys. She did come around rather quickly and I do consider myself extremely lucky. Even if I didn't get to use your advice, it was a least moral support for a few days while she worked things out on her own.

And by the way, I appreciate the welcome but I'm not new here ;) This is an alt account created for anonymity's sake. lol. Thanks all the same though!




Skanker

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27th September 2009

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#12 8 years ago

trubador;5492252Thanks for the continued feedback guys, even the harsh stuff...sometimes the truth is harsh and I'd rather face it than continue living a delusion.

Her and I had a long talk about all of this and I think everything is worked out. I'm choosing to remain skeptical for now, lest I commit to soon and get hurt. She basically told me today that she thought long and hard about it last night and reminded herself that the last time they were together, the night was not fun and she went home feeling terrible. She said there was a reason she chose to stay with me and not go back to him, she just needed to remind herself of that. She does not want to repeat the bad experience they had when last they met and she's told me that it is now a resolved issue...her emotions were a brief longing for what they had at one time, not what they would have had now if she were dating him instead of me and that they were brought about because he contacted her out of the blue (old feelings rushing back kinda thing). She says that she is over it all now and that she know's I have things that this other guy could never give her, that I'm better to her and for her. Hopefully she means it. I think she does.

Just some helpful advice, but it sounds like there's a void that you have not yet fulfilled that this ex-boyfriend of hers had seemingly given her. See if you can't fill that void so when she thinks of the things that she did with him, she thinks of you and realizes that you have (re)filled that void.

I know that sounds weird, so allow me to give you a simple example; If I played basketball with Mo 5 years ago and I totally raped him, I'm going to remember that. But if I played basketball with Lester 5 days ago and totally raped him, then I'm going to remember that when I think of raping people in basketball. Make more sense now?




Flash525

The Carbon Comrade

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14th July 2004

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#13 8 years ago

I read your story the other day, wasn't given enough time then to mount a reply, but as I've time now.

It appears obvious that she still has strong feelings for this other guy. Him being her first true love maybe? Hell, I'm no expert on what Love is, nor how it works, but it makes for a reasonable conclusion. It should also be said that her initial integration to your relationship was far from respectable, though I'd commend her honesty in telling you, and I'd be tempted to believe her when she says that she's since grown to like you.

However, I can't see the relationship you have with her lasting if this other guy is always on her mind. Pardon the direct comments here, but if she's thinking about him when she's with you (in the more intimate of ways) that can't be doing any favours for the relationship.

It may be that you split, she goes back to this other guy, then realises that it isn't him she actually wants, but you. Come that time, you'll have to make a decision as to whether or not to attempt it again, at least that time, you'll know she's come to the conclusion that her past is indeed, in her past.

I feel sorry for you being in the situation you are, unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about it. You've not even done anything wrong, it's just one of those things that life throws at you.

Best of luck though, whatever your chosen path.




NiteStryker

Biggest F-ing A-hole 2010

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24th April 2003

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#14 8 years ago

Have you had sex with her yet and has she let you put it in the butt?




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#15 8 years ago

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t it never was.” I, through and through, wish you good luck in the future. It gladdens my heart that you and your girlfriend managed to work this out!




MoreGun89

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28th July 2004

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#16 8 years ago
NiteStryker;5492991Have you had sex with her yet and has she let you put it in the butt?

Is that how you tell someone you truly love them? I've been doing it wrong for years! XD


Mother Banhammer



NiteStryker

Biggest F-ing A-hole 2010

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24th April 2003

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#17 8 years ago
MoreGun89;5493469Is that how you tell someone you truly love them? I've been doing it wrong for years! XD

And if you really love them, you will use lube.




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