Poetry 7 replies

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Lukeh

Yay for cotton mouth!

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10th March 2006

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#1 11 years ago

Virgin Battle

Blood rushes to my head My heart climbs to my throat Now the order is heard "Charge!" No choice but to run One step after another Fear now I hear swift arrows Comrades drop in agonizing screams Fear has grown to terror Every breath now laborious Every thought frantic Could this be my last? We reach the first line Staring straight into pale faces It seems that terror is abound Luck is the deciding factor Young men, just boys murder Satan's spirit fills the air Waiting for those yet to die Tormenting the first few A burning sensation in my gut Inner juices spill out The dagger of my death Covered in my final stand A beastly howl escapes Darness taking over The victorious face of my killer fades Last thoughts now A calm resignation ----

Dying moments

Young men just left home Mothers and sweethearts left behind They law now in this blood soaked God forsaken chaos. Gasping for their final breaths Parched mouths screaming for mana Bones exposed to the harsh sun Eyes crusting over Daggers lay tauntingly out of reach A swift death evading Suffering is abundant This is man's way.

---

Invisible

I walk unnoticed Quiet, hidden In plain sight I am invisible Yet I am different. Comments please. I want to improve.




InfantryDivision

God loves the Infantry.

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12th July 2006

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#2 11 years ago

Have your carefully revised it? Its best if the writer reads the poem to itself and see if there is nothing wrong with the poem. But I would take off; Fear Now, We reach the first line, and Tormenting the first few. I would also add another line at the last section of the first poem.But since its your poem and I am no English teacher, I have no rights to judge your poem. I especially like Dying Moments. Well done.




Lukeh

Yay for cotton mouth!

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10th March 2006

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#3 11 years ago

No, I never revised them, just wrote them when I was bored. Thanks though.




Reno

The professional.

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22nd March 2006

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#4 11 years ago

Never understood poetry. I always felt like when i was forced to read it i was reading gibberish. When i was forced to write it i wrote gibberish.

I like poetry when people are singing with it in a band, but thats only because the gibberish sounds good next to a melody. In the end its still gibberish. (to me)




Free

Night Life Minister

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6th May 2003

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#5 11 years ago

Bob L. Scrachy;3530023Never understood poetry. I always felt like when i was forced to read it i was reading gibberish. When i was forced to write it i wrote gibberish.

I like poetry when people are singing with it in a band, but thats only because the gibberish sounds good next to a melody. In the end its still gibberish. (to me)

Yeah, the same goes to me! Plus one thing I do not understand is if a poet wants to speak about love why on earth does he have to compare love to a, I don' t know, to a bloody disease?! Can' t he just say "Love is great!"?! I mean, it would take him much less time and he would get straight to the point! Yeah, I am one of those guys who wants to get staright at the point, if I have to say something I say it, I do not get around and say something it may not be understood or it may also be read wrongly (does this word even exist? "wrongly"? Oh, well, who cares).




Fear-No-Evil

Pending Further Assignment

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9th May 2005

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#6 11 years ago

I dabble. Just something to do in my spare time.




y0umebednow

Hi, im bored

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19th July 2006

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#7 11 years ago
Fear-No-Evil;3530292I dabble. Just something to do in my spare time.

woah that is cool site fear!thanks for sharing it :)




The-Bleh-Bleh

Hasselhoff is my hero

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12th December 2006

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#8 11 years ago

Very nice work