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Lamby

Yeah

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10th March 2004

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#1 14 years ago

hiya everybody, i havent made a thread in a while so i made this one. Just post any funny jokes you can think of. Heres mine... What happens when you run behind a car...............YOU GET EXHAUSTED. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA




*Soviet.Power

Ex-MøđęRāŧǿr ø₣ Geňęrāł Gāmíňĝ

91,380 XP

31st January 2004

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#2 14 years ago

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo??

A whooly jumper!!




D.Sporky!

God Send Death

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10th January 2004

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#3 14 years ago

...oh dear...

Some of these are pretty good...

You Are A Bad Cook If...

- The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire

- Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

- You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!

- Your homemade bread can be used as a door stop.

- The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.

- Those annoying pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.

- You forget and leave a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch overnight during a record busting heat- and the next afternoon, not only is it still solid, but it tastes better.

- You hate rice, but you keep finding it floating around in your beef stew.

- Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like.

- The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red 'biohazard' symbols.

- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

- You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.

- Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

- Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

- When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

- Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.

- Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

- Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.

- You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.

- You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

- Your family prays AFTER they eat!




Nemmerle Forum Mod

Voice of joy and sunshine

298,667 XP

26th May 2003

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#4 14 years ago

A sober Irish man.




Lyon

90% sarcastic

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8th July 2003

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#5 14 years ago

Here's one that speaks for itself.




Darkness Knight 15

Zerstörung.

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15th May 2003

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#6 14 years ago

...oh dear...

Some of these are pretty good...

You Are A Bad Cook If...

- The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire

- Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

- You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!

- Your homemade bread can be used as a door stop.

- The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.

- Those annoying pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.

- You forget and leave a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch overnight during a record busting heat- and the next afternoon, not only is it still solid, but it tastes better.

- You hate rice, but you keep finding it floating around in your beef stew.

- Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like.

- The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red 'biohazard' symbols.

- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

- You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.

- Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

- Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

- When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

- Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.

- Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

- Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.

- You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.

- You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

- Your family prays AFTER they eat!

LMFAO! I was laughing so hard by the end of that. LMFAO!




evildude

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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25th August 2003

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#7 14 years ago
GedA sober Irish man.

lol i think they are sober for about 1 min a year




Mac Daddy

\m/

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15th June 2004

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#8 14 years ago

Lmao Zero that is so funny :)




Mast3rofPuppets VIP Member

08'aIgnorance is not an excuse

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28th November 2003

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#9 14 years ago

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must have sex with me." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts,"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!!"

Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"




.Havoc

I like mapping.

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20th February 2004

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#10 14 years ago

LMAO! Ewww...