Science: Bread Is Dangerous 12 replies

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ManiK

Dance the dance of life!

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10th November 2003

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#1 14 years ago

A study by certified breadiologists has concluded the following:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after as little as two days.

6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cream cheese.

7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person.

8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes.

10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Still reaching for that sandwich *evil music* :lol: :lol: :lol:




Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#2 14 years ago

Holy mother of Horus... I'm in a lot of deep crapola now. WTF am I going to do?! I've eaten a load of bread, and... hey... wait a minute... :Puzzled: Oh yeah: :lol:




AegenemmnoN VIP Member

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19th August 2003

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#3 14 years ago

HAHHAHAH! i love it!




colonel_bob

Here & There

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4th June 2004

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#4 14 years ago
ManiK9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes.

Actually, people can withstand temperatures of 400 degrees for several hours in the right conditions... :D But funny. :nodding:




ManiK

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10th November 2003

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#5 14 years ago

*"Disposes" of colonel_bob* And noone but you will ever know that, muahahahaha!!




Col Jimmy Emeric

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16th April 2004

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#6 14 years ago
ManiKA study by certified breadiologists has concluded the following: 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after as little as two days. 6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cream cheese. 7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person. 8. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes. 10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. Still reaching for that sandwich *evil music* :lol: :lol: :lol:

subway says otherwise




Lamby

Yeah

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10th March 2004

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#7 14 years ago
colonel_bobActually, people can withstand temperatures of 400 degrees for several hours in the right conditions... :D But funny. :nodding:

how many degrees is that in celsius




Mihail VIP Member

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19th January 2003

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#8 14 years ago

Question: Does it matter if the bread is whole wheat or white bread? White bread is bad for you. So of course logically speaking, white bread would be the key factor in making them bad eggs.




THE_UNKNOWN_SOLDIER

Jesus is coming look busy

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25th January 2004

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#9 14 years ago

mmmmmmmmmm...... Cheese Sandwich... Ill be right back.... that made me hungry




bagabondo

Insanity at it's finest

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20th February 2003

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#10 14 years ago

If you just f*cked up with someone, saying that you consumed bread as an excuse, won't work, I tried it...




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