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Spartan VIP Member

Retired Admin

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4th August 2003

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#1 14 years ago

I got this in an email, enjoy...

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, I'm Stupid. That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign." It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign." A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big old stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked them into giving up. Here's your sign." I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good. They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't want to lose it." Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.. Here's your sign." We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him. I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning .... okay....no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign." I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."




Hctim

mum says hi

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23rd August 2004

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#2 14 years ago

:withstupid:

lol some people




Aeroflot

I would die without GF

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2nd May 2003

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#3 14 years ago
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning .... okay....no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

Haha, I heard that one before.




mEkImIrMe

Happy to be back

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8th August 2002

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#4 14 years ago

Did you really?




Homer Gonerson

...

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22nd December 2003

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#5 14 years ago

i've heard most of these... funny guy.... but george carlin is better.... but this is still funny.... (ps: if anyone had the book Brain Droppings and a scanner, pm me plz... i have a favor to ask of you




BobDole

Alpha Mike Foxtrot

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15th November 2003

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#6 14 years ago

that is sweet I like the cop one lol




AegenemmnoN VIP Member

The cream of the crop

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19th August 2003

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#7 14 years ago

good stuff. i cant remember the guys name who does these jokes.




Darkness Knight 15

Zerstörung.

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15th May 2003

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#8 14 years ago

Nice list, it's funny.




Mr. Matt VIP Member

#BanRadioActiveLobster

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17th June 2002

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#9 14 years ago

:lol:

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Hmph. I say that. Except for the sign part.




Dragonfire, The

bored out of my mind...

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14th October 2003

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#10 14 years ago

Jeff Foxworthy.

right? i'm pretty sure.

"I saw this guy with a wire coathanger trying to unlock his car. and i could not stop myself, 'Lock you keys in our car?' ' nope just washed it, hanging it up to dry.'"




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