Snappy one-liners. 20 replies

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Dot Com

I'm too cool to Post

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26th June 2000

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#1 13 years ago

What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Jew? He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides




AdmCorranHorn

Inyri's slave

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22nd May 2005

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#2 13 years ago

a good use of 2 minutes =P




Stargate_Guy

The forums staffers think I'm Cool

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2nd June 2005

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#3 13 years ago

Best One

What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

:lol:Those are all really funny.:lol:




FileTrekker Über Admin

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

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15th December 2002

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#4 13 years ago

Mostly old material but a few good ones in there. Pretty clever.


Danny King | Community Manager | GameFront.com



NiteStryker

Biggest F-ing A-hole 2010

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24th April 2003

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#5 13 years ago

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.

:lol:

Hysterical




Aeroflot

I would die without GF

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2nd May 2003

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#6 13 years ago
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

Rofl. I had to laugh at that one, those Italians are always using gestures for something.




oicu

The Animator

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19th June 2005

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#7 13 years ago

How do you get a hippy to work? Tell him he is saving trees!




[CoUk]niu

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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12th March 2004

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#8 13 years ago

Saved this miserable morning.:)




NiteStryker

Biggest F-ing A-hole 2010

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24th April 2003

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#9 13 years ago
Dobry wieczórRofl. I had to laugh at that one, those Italians are always using gestures for something.

How do you silence an italian?

-Handcuff him.

:rofl:




Agent_0range

Original Gankstar

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3rd February 2005

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#10 13 years ago

lol funny stuff :D