Some Short Stories 6 replies

Please wait...

Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#1 11 years ago

Here are a few short stories I wrote for creative writing class, and I thought you folks might enjoy reading them. Feel free to comment on and criticize.

Spoiler: Show
Breath

Jake breathed out and breathed in. The bleak, life sapping darkness contrasted the blue and green marble that floated in space. Little specs, stars, dotted the blackened expanse. He never knew it could be so dark. He once wondered what space looked like, and now he knew. He knew all too intimately. Space flight was routine, accidents never happened. But it was an accident and it did happen. The seals had cracked and the ship had broken apart. Now Jake floated lazily along through space, clothed in his jeans and t-shirt, with the only thing between him and the depths of space being the dim blue glow of the emergency air bubble around him. He knew the bubble would only last for maybe five minutes longer. His pulse quickened as he contemplated his position.

He breathed in and breathed out. And it was black. It was black and cold. The debris from the ship had been thrown far and wide and Jake couldn’t even spot the large pieces anymore. He could see Earth in the distance, and the sun even farther off. The blue and green dot looked like a child’s toy, floating off in the far, far distance. The sun dominated his view; a bright glowing orb that burned against his eyes. Behind him he could see Mars as an even smaller pale red dot, like a speck of dust floating in a blackened pond. Jake had to consider himself at least somewhat lucky. How many people had the chance to see space the way he could now? It was quite the seventeenth birthday present. And how ironic was it that he would be killed by that blackness on the anniversary of his birth?

He breathed out and breathed in. The darkness chilled Jake to his very core. It was darker then the darkest monster filled night, and colder then the coldest winter gust. But it was so beautiful, that he had to admit. It was a good way to die if he had to die now. Floating along in the deathly embrace of space, but consoled by the warming glow of the sun and his home off in the far distance. And the stars sat in their places, as if gods ready to judge him after he floated on.

He breathed in and breathed out. He felt dizzy, as the stars began to twirl around like ballet dancers on the galactic stage. So this was how it would end? With his frozen corpse floating off to join those dancing stars? Maybe he would be lucky and the emergency rescue ship would arrive soon enough; sometimes they did. They had to come from Mars, the smaller little dot, as it was actually closer then the large blue and green marble of Earth. But until they arrived Jake could float lazily on and enjoy himself. He smiled at the stars dancing across space, and sighed contently at the sun waving at him. Waving? Jake shook his head. Stars don’t dance, and the sun doesn’t wave. He calmed himself down so as not to use what little precious oxygen he had left. And it was so easy to be calm, floating lazily in that blackness. He realized how odd it was for him to be so calm with life ready to burst from his lungs and leave him floating there in space.

He breathed out and breathed in. Those ships had to be coming. That’s what they paid the space defense force for anyways, it’s not like they did any defending, what with humans being the only species in the solar system. They had to be coming soon, soon enough for him. Then he would be alright, and he would be able to go home. He could go home and look at the dancing stars for as long as he wanted. Those twirling, dancing stars and that waving sun could dance in his eyes in safety. Those dancing, dancing stars. Look at them dance so slowly across the darkness.

Jake breathed out, and breathed in. They were coming. They had to be! They had to be coming for him. And it was dark and cold. And then he breathed out.

This next one we had to make exactly 101 words.

Spoiler: Show
Killer
“Shoot her.” The Commander told Frederick. He’d done it many times before. He’d killed so many people; innocent people. Why not kill this woman who was begging for her life in the rubble of Berlin? She was Jewish, and he had his orders. It was no different from any of the other mothers, fathers, daughters, or sons he had killed. No different from the other Jews and Gypsies. He could have shot her too. “Shoot her!” The commander demanded. Frederick glanced at him without any expression and turned back to the woman. “Shoot!” Shouted the Commander. Frederick turned and shot him.



Plebian

Shogun of Vae Victus!!! order.

50 XP

15th October 2007

0 Uploads

398 Posts

0 Threads

#2 11 years ago

I like the second one. I might post one of mine, but its 17 pages long. :( Edit- i actually really like the second one, do you mind if i rewrite it and post it again? (giving you credit, of course.)




Comet_buster

Magic and Soap

50 XP

12th December 2006

0 Uploads

5,709 Posts

0 Threads

#3 11 years ago

i like the second one alot, the first was good as well




arcadeplayer987

Revenge was here.

50 XP

25th April 2007

0 Uploads

1,819 Posts

0 Threads

#4 11 years ago
Plebian;4002731I might post one of mine, but its 17 pages long.

Nobody is going to read 17 pages so... Anyway bothe stories are ok.




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#5 11 years ago

Heres one I just thought of ~Carnival of Rust~ He walked for ever and ever, across the same junkyard, in the same wasteland. Why was it like this he thought, seeing rusted metal everywhere. The cars were broken and bent, the buildings crumbling and falling. The swings on a playground, were empty, waiting for someone to love them again. A computer moniter lay smashedin the street. He walked up and saw a hole in the road, rusted pipes bent in every direction. It was late he saw from the fading sun. So as he walked on he saw a raven, the bird of fate, sitting and cawing on a stoplight. And he thought to himself walking away, war sucks.




Mlncly_shrine

I Have Achieved Bankai.

50 XP

2nd July 2006

0 Uploads

1,492 Posts

0 Threads

#6 11 years ago
nanobot_swarm;4003666Heres one I just thought of ~Carnival of Rust~ He walked for ever and ever, across the same junkyard, in the same wasteland. Why was it like this he thought, seeing rusted metal everywhere. The cars were broken and bent, the buildings crumbling and falling. The swings on a playground, were empty, waiting for someone to love them again. A computer moniter lay smashedin the street. He walked up and saw a hole in the road, rusted pipes bent in every direction. It was late he saw from the fading sun. So as he walked on he saw a raven, the bird of fate, sitting and cawing on a stoplight. And he thought to himself walking away, war sucks.

Seemed More Like a Poem To Me :/




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#7 11 years ago
deaf-man;4003984Seemed More Like a Poem To Me :/

so?