Sumerians Look On In Confusion As Christian God Creates World 23 replies

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Metall_pingwin

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26th May 2005

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#1 10 years ago
5-Sumerians-Look-article_large.article_large.jpg

Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

"Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."

Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.

Moreover, the Sumerians were taken aback by the creation of the same animals and herb-yielding seeds that they had been domesticating and cultivating for hundreds of generations.

"The Sumerian people must have found God's making of heaven and earth in the middle of their well-established society to be more of an annoyance than anything else," said Paul Helund, ancient history professor at Cornell University. "If what the pictographs indicate are true, His loud voice interrupted their ancient prayer rituals for an entire week."

According to the cuneiform tablets, Sumerians found God's most puzzling act to be the creation from dust of the first two human beings. "These two people made in his image do not know how to communicate, lack skills in both mathematics and farming, and have the intellectual capacity of an infant," one Sumerian philosopher wrote. "They must be the creation of a complete idiot."

Source: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As Christian God Creates World




Mastershroom Advanced Member

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18th November 2004

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#2 10 years ago

<3 the Onion.

I'm fairly certain that not even the most hardcore Christians still believe that the universe was created only thousands of years ago.




Ensign Riles Advanced Member

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17th June 2003

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#3 10 years ago

If they had removed the word "Christian" and the image, the article would have bordered on conceivable. It's not difficult to believe that an ancient civilization could interpret a major geological or meteorological event for an act of god.




Mr. Pedantic

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8th October 2006

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#4 10 years ago

Lawl.

I'm fairly certain that not even the most hardcore Christians still believe that the universe was created only thousands of years ago.

Some do. None of them would post here, but there are a lot of people who take the Bible very, very seriously.




Guest

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#5 10 years ago

Yes, there are unfortunately a very small minority who go above and beyond simple believing when there is no evidence, and actually believe when there is tons of evidence that opposes them.

Also, God I love the Onion.




KeNDaLL2000

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17th May 2006

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#6 10 years ago

Yeah that might piss me off to. I love me some onion




Guest

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#7 10 years ago

Fuckin' LOVE the onion. That shit is always awesome!




Skanker

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#8 10 years ago
Metall_pingwin;5170498"They must be the creation of a complete idiot."

It's not a very good idea to be calling out God. :smack:

Personally I think it's still a bunch of BS. Science can't prove truth or morals. I still believe the world was created thousands of years ago.




Mr. Pedantic

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#9 10 years ago
Personally I think it's still a bunch of BS. Science can't prove truth or morals. I still believe the world was created thousands of years ago.

Technically, science can't prove anything. However, this is not a matter for science, per se.

But see, the thing is, that there actually was a city called Eridu. The area was originally settled in 5400BCE. Long, long before the 4000BCE date of God's supposed creation.




Sadim-Al-Bouncer

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9th June 2009

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#10 10 years ago

Think whatever you want, I won't discriminate.