Thoughts for the day... 25 replies

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Spartan VIP Member

Retired Admin

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4th August 2003

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#1 14 years ago

Enjoy these...

1. Never raise your hands to your kids.It leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do you think illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet soup?

6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the walls.

14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.




D.Sporky!

God Send Death

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10th January 2004

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#2 14 years ago

haha! Those are great. :D

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

:lol:




Ping_Pong

Rockin' the Casbah

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30th June 2003

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#3 14 years ago

Hehe..good ones.




AegenemmnoN VIP Member

The cream of the crop

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19th August 2003

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#4 14 years ago

that is freakin funny! hahaha!

12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem

brilliant.




_D.Schenck_

Loves to learn

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1st October 2003

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#5 14 years ago
8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

:lol: now that is funny




Col Jimmy Emeric

Led Zeppelin pwns all

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16th April 2004

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#6 14 years ago

:lolpoint:lmao those are funny:lol:




~Sadie~

Always loving.. always missing

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14th February 2004

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#7 14 years ago

tee-hee :)




Nemmerle Forum Mod

Voice of joy and sunshine

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26th May 2003

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#8 14 years ago
Spartan10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

:lolpoint: That's hilarious.




Lyon

90% sarcastic

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8th July 2003

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#9 14 years ago

Nice..




Disconnecting

Gone

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23rd March 2004

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#10 14 years ago

Heres my random thought for the day:

It takes 42 muscles to frown but only 3 to bitch slap someone