I take no responsibility for the corny-ness of these...
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive...."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you but don't start anything"
Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please and one for the road."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
Two cows stand next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling you have heard this bull before.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he is really heavy."
Apparently one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad, or maybe my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure it is Colin.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach meat off the top shelf. He said, "No the steaks are too high."
A man woke up in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
I woke up this morning and made a cup of tea in my pajamas -- it's no good I have to get a tea pot!
Opened the door in my pajamas today -- thought that's a funny place to have a door!
Rushed into a store today and put my hand in the cash register -- thought the change would do me good.
Little known fact -- if all the people in china held hands around the equator -- 2/3 of them would drown !
:lol: New ones for me, some of them are pretty good.
Wow. That goes all the way through lame and comes out funny.
colonel_bobWow. That goes all the way through lame and comes out funny.
That is completely thieved from CHAKA...
No! I'm Spamacus!
17th June 2003
You know, about a week ago I was going to make another animated signature with those "jokes" (;) ). Guess I can't know that you posted them. :p
Still quite humerous!
lol, they are only good because there are so many of them!
I LOVE the last one.
haha, some of those are good, spome i dont get, thx for posting i needed a good laugh.
lol good stuff i like the first chinese one. :lol:
I didn't make it!
Lol pretty good. I got another lame one.
Why did the chicken cross the road? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!1
Bet you ain't heard that one before.