What is your reality? 19 replies

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Andron Taps Forum Mod

Faktrl is Best Pony

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#1 4 years ago

Just a brief observation of your surroundings and your personal state. No extra thoughts or feelings, because reality will carry on regardless of how you think or feel about it.

So anyway, my reality:

I'm completely fucked. Pure and simple. I will never find what truly makes me even close to happy no matter how hard I try. I can barely feel anything anymore besides depression and the occasional secretion of dopamine from soda, cigarettes, and alcohol. I will never fall asleep without pills or exhaustion. All my happiness is stored up in memories (e.g. nostalgia). I will spend the rest of my life miserable and alone and I'm not sure I ever will want it to be more than that.

What's yours? :p


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



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#2 4 years ago

Dead Future, huh? Well, my reality is that nobody loves me and refusing to believe that people do love me. And it's also a lack of confidence. Go figure. And yes, that's all in a nutshell.




MoreGun89

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#3 4 years ago

Mixed bag, mostly short term goals. Currently trying to nip the puppy nipping, and in a mediocre spot. But it tends to be like a sine wave for me, I'll come out on top in the next few weeks probably :)


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Andron Taps Forum Mod

Faktrl is Best Pony

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#4 4 years ago

Uchuujin;5740896Dead Future, huh? Well, my reality is that nobody loves me and refusing to believe that people do love me. And it's also a lack of confidence. Go figure. And yes, that's all in a nutshell. [/QUOTE]

Mainly one problem. Need more people who are interesting with whom to interact in the off hours. Unfortunately these are hard to come by locally. Still, keep trying ^_^

EDIT: Give these a try:

Angry Video Game Nerd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvnRBywkUZ0

Nostalgia Critic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQiYyWuDyE4

I love reviewers (most of the time), and they've gotten me through some dark times. Enjoy :D

[QUOTE=MoreGun89;5740913]Mixed bag, mostly short term goals. Currently trying to nip the puppy nipping, and in a mediocre spot. But it tends to be like a sine wave for me, I'll come out on top in the next few weeks probably :)

Ah yes, I was planning on making a diagram of my sine wave.

It used to have a really big amplitude and wavelength, but now it's very erratic. During the "normal" days it's practically .01 amplitude and 1000000 meter wavelength.


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



Nemmerle Forum Mod

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#5 4 years ago

-shrug- I'm okay I guess. I don't really have any strong bonds with anyone and I'm not sure I'd want them if I was presented with the chance.

The main thing that concerns me at the moment is power. Not political power necessarily but professional power. I like things to make sense, and I like to be in a position to make things make sense. From time to time you hit a ceiling in how good you can be at your job without altering a major structure, or getting power that you don't have at the moment to alter some procedure or get access to some information or the like.

I like the puzzle. Refinement of efficiency. Without that I don't really think I'd have much to do. I go home and I play a few computer games, but mostly I'm either working on something left over from work or waiting around to go back to work.

Some of us weren't cut out for routine, I think. Or if we were, it was in such a way that the routine had to be continually evolving. Routine work is for machines. You understand something deeply enough, you write up the knowledge for the computer - and that's it, you're done; that job is finished, forever and will never again be fulfilling or interesting.

I guess that would be one of my major fears, becoming stuck in a position where my body's doing things but there's no real thought behind it. Where I may as well not exist.

But as long as I've got a reasonable amount of autonomy in my life, I'll be fine. With that constraint I feel comfortable enough saying 'I can do whatever I'm paid to do.' =p Though of course you wouldn't say that to an employer, because then it would make you look less committed to them.




MoreGun89

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#6 4 years ago

Nemmerle;5740915-shrug- I'm okay I guess. I don't really have any strong bonds with anyone and I'm not sure I'd want them if I was presented with the chance.

The main thing that concerns me at the moment is power. Not political power necessarily but professional power. I like things to make sense, and I like to be in a position to make things make sense. From time to time you hit a ceiling in how good you can be at your job without altering a major structure, or getting power that you don't have at the moment to alter some procedure or get access to some information or the like.

I like the puzzle. Refinement of efficiency. Without that I don't really think I'd have much to do. I go home and I play a few computer games, but mostly I'm either working on something left over from work or waiting around to go back to work.

Some of us weren't cut out for routine, I think. Or if we were, it was in such a way that the routine had to be continually evolving. Routine work is for machines. You understand something deeply enough, you write up the knowledge for the computer - and that's it, you're done; that job is finished, forever and will never again be fulfilling or interesting.

I guess that would be one of my major fears, becoming stuck in a position where my body's doing things but there's no real thought behind it. Where I may as well not exist.

But as long as I've got a reasonable amount of autonomy in my life, I'll be fine. With that constraint I feel comfortable enough saying 'I can do whatever I'm paid to do.' =p Though of course you wouldn't say that to an employer, because then it would make you look less committed to them.

I think you've just described how my job has been for the past few months and will continue to be for a while. I miss creative and challenging projects >.< *whine whine whine*


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MrFancypants Forum Admin

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#7 4 years ago

Can't complain, things seem to be going rather well at the moment.




Silberio VIP Member

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#8 4 years ago

^ I'm about there too.

Just graduated, looking for job... Not looking very good, but I get along. I got more time to play Fallout, learn languages, workout, meditation, etc. I also got a great, supportive GF to go along with all that, so ya, pretty good.

I still get occasional deppressive relapses, but then again... I did refuse take meds for that. I got panic and anxiety attacks under control, pretty much, so I don't really worry too much about it.


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MoreGun89

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#9 4 years ago

Are you still with Kunrich, Sil? :)


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Silberio VIP Member

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#10 4 years ago

Nay, we broke up back in September... But I met a Mexican girl at the start of this year and we're going steady :)


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