Faktrl is Best Pony
10th September 2007
I do a lot of research on careers and degrees based on personality, taste, and pretty much everything under the sun. A LOT of research. It's obviously hard to determine what I'll want to do for the rest of my life given all the variables, so I guess it makes slightly more sense to ask what I should do NEXT with my life.
Honestly, I'm not so sure. I completed a rather disappointed semester at a school in my state, and now I've got a chance to attend one closer to me for less money and more technological studies options.
It's mainly known for its engineering technology degrees, but there's also pure engineering, video game design, and several different concentrations for all the science majors. At the very least, it seems like a decent fit since I have a fascination with technology and learning how things work, but at the same time I still have to deal with all sorts of mental obstacles.
I don't mind busting my ass for a course if its something I enjoy, and that's where the dilemma seems to arise. I have no idea what I enjoy or like anymore. Things have become so blunted and empty, there's almost no way to separate pain from pleasure anymore.
No longer do I feel any sort of satisfaction in most activities. Even video games are virtually devoid of any good feeling.
I just wish there was some way to find what it is I "really want." I've really been trying, and I guess I'll just have to keep on going. Maybe I'll find out, but then maybe not. And then what? :\
I really don't know.
"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.
Sounds like classic burn out, and it sucks! If you can, I would recommend taking a break from school and work an undemanding job that gives you time to relax and play! Sometimes looking away for a bit can help immensely in deciding what you really want and focussing on it once you have that. Just a thought. I wish I had time for a break when I was in school, graduation for me wasn't exciting by the end, it was more a "yay I'm done, going to sleep for a week now!" :p. don't let that happen to you if you can help it!