17th June 2002
My car is black. 'Panther Black', to be precise. But black is an absence of color. So that can't be my favourite! And besides, black cars are a bitch to keep clean, so that counts against it. The room I'm in currently is red, which is a nice, warm, cosy color for winter and has a regal feel to it. But red is associated with blood, and usually when you see blood it isn't a good thing, so it can't be my favourite. Green is the color of life, and when winter takes it away everywhere appears... dead. But the entire plant civilisation has decided to declare war on me for no good reason in the form of hayfever, and once a year they bombard me with a part of their reproductive system... pollen. And pollen is essentially plant sperm. That's just disgusting. As plants are usually green, green can't be my favourite color for that reason. Yellow is the color of the sun, giver of life, giver of warmth, giver of nicely-tanned ba... I mean, nice holiday weather. But the sun doesn't like to be looked upon; it gets so angry that it will literally burn your eyes out. And being the snob it is, if you remain in its regal presence for too long it'll be a bastard and give you skin cancer. Why would I ever vote for something that'd blind you and then kill you?! Blue is the color of the sky. There's not much wrong with the sky, although if it ever gets bored and decides to bugger off, we're screwed. Unfortunately, FileFront made me vomit with that horrendous shade of baby-blue for the entire time that it forced us to use that utterly shit forum style for all that time. So blue's a no-no. Orange was an unbelievably moronic part of the forum style I just mentioned, which just made life a bitch for many months. Who's retarded idea was it to mix bright blue with bright orange, anyway?! Plus, it's the color of its fruity namesake, orange. I hate oranges. So really, I can think of nothing good about orange. F**k orange! Pink is a girly color, and is therefore ineligible. Yes, I have a mental age in single digits. Purple and its associated variants are equally girly, thus ineligible. Brown? That's the color of poo-poo! Who'd like brown?! Yes, still a single-digit. In conclusion, I'm going to say 'white'. Because I'm an indecisive f**ker. But white is the color of clouds... and Ford Transits! Ugh! Say no to color! Down with color! Death to color! DEATH! I'm voting for white though.
i like blue