Why God Created Children (and In The Process Grandchildren) 12 replies

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Spartan VIP Member

Retired Admin

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4th August 2003

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#1 14 years ago

Hopefully you will enjoy this more than the puns...

> To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" > > "Don't what?" Adam replied. > > "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. > > Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!" > > "No Way!" > > "Yes way!" > > "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. > > "Why" > > "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. > > "Uh huh," Adam replied. > > "Then why did you?" said the Father. > > "I don't know," said Eve. > > "She started it!" Adam said > > "Did not!" > > "Did too!" > > "DID NOT!" > > Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. > > > > BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? > > THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! > 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. > 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. > 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. > 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. > 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. > > > > ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. > > AND FINALLY: > IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: > "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!




Mast3rofPuppets VIP Member

08'aIgnorance is not an excuse

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28th November 2003

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#2 14 years ago

Hehe, funny stuff, but I don't think there are so many in GF that have kids.




Spartan VIP Member

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4th August 2003

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#3 14 years ago

You still enjoyed though, so does that small detail really matter?




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#4 14 years ago

I got a question. If Adam and Eve were the first parents, then how did they populate the earth? Did they just keep making babies, and then those brothers and sisters fucked eachother, and then the mothers and the sons would fuck eachother, and it became one big incest family that kept growing and growing?




evildude

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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25th August 2003

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#5 14 years ago

yup thats it




Nkenobi

My Bite is worse than my Bark

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20th September 2003

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#6 14 years ago

lol @ the joke

yup, thats how it must have worked, I mean who else to F*** with?




DavetheFo

RogueDevil / Rogue Angel

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29th May 2003

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#7 14 years ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmn, so does that mean that despite societys view on incest, we actually needed it?

Ah the joys of being able to be an atheist in our free state.

The points at the bottom were quite amusing though I must say.




Admiral Donutz VIP Member

Wanna go Double Dutch?

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9th December 2003

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#8 14 years ago
Gén0CýDéI got a question. If Adam and Eve were the first parents, then how did they populate the earth? Did they just keep making babies, and then those brothers and sisters fucked eachother, and then the mothers and the sons would fuck eachother, and it became one big incest family that kept growing and growing?

That would make us 1 big retarded family... Well that probably is the case so the bible may be right afterall :uhm:




StEn

good day to you all!

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31st July 2003

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#9 14 years ago

ite bruv. lol :D

i hope that isnt the case because thats pritty sick :(




Darkness Knight 15

Zerstörung.

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15th May 2003

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#10 14 years ago

Haha, thats funny.




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