So what's the latest on this LW? Have you been able to make any progress? Are you still tring to sway him, or did you throw the towel in? Cya!
Piercing the veil.
9th August 2003
Haven't seen him yet. And as I said he's really annoying. I'm seeing him on tuesday, when school starts. And now that idiot wants to go to canada to visit a friend after he's been to japan......... I just don't believe what I hear anymore... Plus, what really pisses me off is that he talks a lot of shit about me behind my back over msn messenger to another friend of mine. Now this guy tells me everything that guy says about me. And some of it is infuriating.....for instance, all I know about computers and hardware I learned from my older brother. I'm not a genius, but if something's wrong with a pc, in 90% of all cases I can fix it. Now when I went over to germany last year I brought back a whole lot of upgrades. Now I asked this guy if he wanted to come over and help me build it. Last week I repaired the pc of another friend of mine. Now on chat the guy asked my friend if I had done most the work. My friend said yes. The guy then says that he can't believe it, after all I was dumb considering hardware, blablabla, but that I had gotten smarter through HIS help with my pc.... Now get this straight: He isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. And he's calling ME dumb. He redid a year of school. That is an insult. SO....ANGRY...RIGHT...NOW *deeep breath* I am going to have one last talk with him about the matter, and if he ignores me, then I'm basically gonna say "right mate, fuck off, you've been warned."
You need to let him go his own way....even if YOU feel he may fail, you cannot be 100% sure, and even if he does, it will be a lesson that he will need to learn on his own, because from what I hear you saying, he isnt going to listen to you anyways, you may however be able to convince him to take more time in thinking about his decision, perhaps getting him to insure he has a plan to fall back on if he does in fact fail as you think he will, but if you truely wish to show him you are a friend, then support him in whatever decision he makes, even if you disagree with it. Good luck to you; and your friend.
I didn't make it!
I hate it when people get so annoying and bad when you might just have to say enough is enough and pray...errrr....hope that it gets better.
matt_el_gI'm curious about many things. How, exactly do you brake them? You keep saying you should take the hard approach, but, how? Shout at them? Injure them? Insult them? If you'd helped people in suicide situations, you'd know that isn't the thing to do. It only demoralises them. My aunt was depressed to the point of suicide. Don't make assumptions like that again. One reason why she was like that? She didn't feel appreciated. Taking the hard approached could possibly have killed her.
Ah again as i see that almost everyday... Words that are used yet the person that use them have no clue what they mean... Being hard doesnt mean doesnt mean using violence, to causing pain, to demorale someone or to insult. It mean to just be hard with the person and not stop even tho the person might react in a way where you think you should stop. The point in breaking someone is to play directly in their emotion and break them so they can let it out. They will then rebuild their emotions or *regenerate* them if you prefer. They will be more stable and will not have the lack of judgement when making descision. Doing what i said to your aunt would of helped. As it was her emotion that were making her think she wasnt appreciated. So by destroying the base of those unstabble emotion and rebuilding a stronger base she would of been fixed.
15th January 2004
I think I get was Kuja is saying... she means sit them down and tell them pretty much exactly what you think, go into your reasons about it, etc. and don't be gentle about it. The fact is most people don't want help whether they obviously need it or not, and you have to break through that barrier so they will let you help them. That's what she means by 'destroying them', you destroy the walls around them. You have to know when to stop though, carrying it too far would be very bad...
Voice of joy and sunshine
26th May 2003
I would sugest he go on a short holiday in japan for a week or so . So that he can SEE whether he likes it or not and how expensive stuff is whether he would be able to suport himself etc. As to the idea of breaking someone I would have to disagree. Its all very well destroying a person . But when their rebuilding it can go either way. They might[I] think you were only trying to help them. Or They might think that they had been betrayed that you had only used your position of trust to cause them pain and to hurt them. in which case they would find it very hard to trust people again and dont say you can supervise the rebuilding ,a person has to do this for themselves or the foundation wont hold and in a couple of years it all comes crashing down.