I Blame You Hollywood! -1 reply

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Blistex

Been here longer than you!

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20th May 2003

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#1 14 years ago

We've had a few "Best War Movie" threads so I thought that the reverse would be nice for a change. Here is a thread for the worst war movies ever made! (In no particular order)

1. Perl Harbour:

Lets look past the horrible acting, and the small historical inaccuracies, and focus on the huge glaring mistakes! They had a chance to make another Torat Tora Tora, with the benefit of 21st century CGI and effects. Instead we get an episode of Dawson's Creek mixed with a 12yr olds interpretation of the events of WWII.

2. Windtalkers:

The pacific theatre has been overlooked time and again, but when we get a chance to make a big budget movie aboug Guadalcanal they get John Woo to make it! John Woo??? If Tom Cruise booked it across one of the battle scenes on a neon green crotch rocket firing a desert Eagle (sideways) it wouldn't have been too out of place. Who was their historical advisor? jackie Chan? Backflips and 1911's never missing belongs in a matrix ripoff, not a WWII movie.

3. Thin Red Line

Lose the 45 minute poetry recital and it kicks serious ass!

4. Raid on Rommel:

Where to start? Both side use the exact same tank, with a different color, and one scene shows Rommel having more tanks on hand than the invasion of Russia! Plus everyone knows that US/British soldiers are well versed in the operation of German tanks!

5. Battle of the Bulge:

Wow! Where did they get all those fully working King Tigers?

How about you guys? Any movies you guys have seen that were essentially ruined because of glaring historical inaccuracies or utter stupidity?




BAM

I pretend I'm cooler than AzH

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27th April 2003

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#2 14 years ago

hmm thats a good list i dont have anything to add ..




StrangerThanFiction

I live on Gaming Forums

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5th October 2003

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#3 14 years ago

U-571 was a pathetic Hollywood attempt to make a lobotomized rip-off of Das Boot, except with clean-shaven Americans as the protagonists instead of scruffy-looking Germans. Among many other inaccuracies, the movie has the ludicrous plot device of a German destroyer patrolling the middle of the Atlantic in 1942.




peckens

peck peck peck wooodddddd

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26th January 2004

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#4 14 years ago

Pearl harbor just did a good job with the attack with battleship row and the attack on each of the runways not the way Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnet were acting




Witch Hunter General

Dread thinks I'm a special person

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19th May 2003

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#5 14 years ago

1. Battle of the Bulge

-complete garbage. With that kind of budget, you should expect something. But no, even the visuals are complete junk. I thought they had trees and snow in the Ardennes back then....but no, it looks like the bloody Ukrainean steppes. And it's just based on the battle, meaning every name and about every other thing is fake...something that defeats the purpose. Number of goofs here too, pretty much the entire turret of a M24 Chaffee(here reffered to as a Sherman, just to add to insult) is ripped of...and the guys inside SURVIVED!?! that same impossible to kill tank commander is also pretty much hip-firing a M1919 inside the absolutely biggest fuel-depot this side of Kaukasus. We have a train hauling some very big guns moving along at atleast 200mph...and it's ambushed by a "Tiger" inside a tunnel! Rubbish!

2. The Misfits Brigade

- the books by Hazel may be pure fantasy, and the guy the worst imposter ever. But they are atleast highly enjoyable...this is just bad, bad and bad.

3. Big Red One

- another stinker. filmed in Israel of all things, and it shows, everything looks like Jenin for some reason. If you can get past the obvious here, that an US infantry-squad pretty much won the war on their own....we have Germans for some reason defending a concentration camp...my, oh my! have every Hollywood-clishe there is: stupid and evil Germans, Germans that speak ineglizh, Tigers that are just Shermans with a fancy paint-scheme and so on. Bsed on real events...sure.

4. Heroes of Telemark

- Warmovie with Kirk Douglas? Don't expect quality, that's for sure. What this movie tried to be was pretty much made in Norway back in 1948, starring most of the guys that took part in the real event. Why the heck did we need this? Rewrittes history, adds action(fact is: in reality nobody was hurt when the factory was blown to pieces). Really impossible to say if they wanted to be factual or a shooter.

5. U-571

-You can really ask yourself if this movie and similar crap like Behind Enemy Lines even are warmovies, rather than pure shooters set in a warzone instead of downtown New York. This is beyond bad. If we look past the obvious fact that it's a disgrace that they pretend to base it on history, we still have a major stinker. It cost around 4 times as much as Das Boot...and still the visuals are inferior? You'll never get the sense of claustrophobia, something very important for a submarine movie. The enemy destroyer(looks like a russian trawler with some paper guns on it) have an infinite supply of depth-charges....and it's in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean! the "long-range recon aircraft" is one-engined aswell. Our heroes survived because of a near impossible shot that is only possible because our soon to sacrifice his life hero just managed to fix a technical problem a fraction of a second before it was to late. This is Hollywood at its worst...the only way to add suspension is to add an obscene amount of explosions and non-stop action. Compare that to Das Boot, there you had a 10 minute scene where the guys just sat/stood there looking scared and just waited for the enemy destroyer to find them or give up the chase. Not a sound, except for the constant "pling" of the ASDIC...and that was 100 times more nerve-cracking than this. If they want to make a WWII-movie, then they should atleast try to make it look and feel like it.




FreakNasty

Singlehearted

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7th October 2003

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#6 14 years ago
Blistex 3. Thin Red Line

Dude, The Thin Red Line was such an awesome movie. It's one of my favourites. I know that some disagree and go to the other extreme, but IMO it was one of the best...




NoCoolOnesLeft

My Blood Is Olive Drab

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18th November 2003

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#7 14 years ago

lol, I watched a funny one about 'assassinating churchill'.

it had that bloke from The Italian Job...whats his name? Michael Caine I think it is. well he was in it, speaking english with a perfectly good COCKNEY ACCENT!and hes supposed to be a fallschirmjager.

It had M1 carbines that fired like machine guns, Stens that had the accuracy of a damn Enfield sniper rifle, and some realy annoying IRA member that helped them into the village Churchill was visiting, in the end caine the cockney fallschirmjager managed to kill Churchill with a P38 (wtf, were did he get that from? they were undercover as Polish Paratroopers)

in the end the 'churchill' was realy a fake. so this was one pretty pointless movie, and it was so funny I laughed and nealy pissed myself (j/k)

....oh, and yes...caine's part in this movie was a Rebelious COCKNEY ACCENT, perfect english talking, polish paratrooper posing, german fallschirmjager. :uhoh:




BAM

I pretend I'm cooler than AzH

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27th April 2003

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#8 14 years ago

Ply3r_17lol, I watched a funny one about 'assassinating churchill'.

it had that bloke from The Italian Job...whats his name? Michael Caine I think it is. well he was in it, speaking english with a perfectly good COCKNEY ACCENT!and hes supposed to be a fallschirmjager.

It had M1 carbines that fired like machine guns, Stens that had the accuracy of a damn Enfield sniper rifle, and some realy annoying IRA member that helped them into the village Churchill was visiting, in the end caine the cockney fallschirmjager managed to kill Churchill with a P38 (wtf, were did he get that from? they were undercover as Polish Paratroopers)

in the end the 'churchill' was realy a fake. so this was one pretty pointless movie, and it was so funny I laughed and nealy pissed myself (j/k)

....oh, and yes...caine's part in this movie was a Rebelious COCKNEY ACCENT, perfect english talking, polish paratrooper posing, german fallschirmjager. :uhoh:

sounds good i have to buy that one (when i want to havea good laugh)




Petey

Flow

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6th October 2003

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#9 14 years ago

thats cause michael caine really DOES have a cockney accent




NoCoolOnesLeft

My Blood Is Olive Drab

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18th November 2003

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#10 14 years ago

yeah but he wasnt supposed to be a COCKNEY ACCENTED falschirmjager, it just takes the atmosphere away :p