So, me and TriBadgeCorder started a Q story in the What If thread, so let's continue it here. You type a moderate but funny story with Q and the crew he is on. At the end, you ask a question what will happen. Don't ignore the previous story, but go further on it..
Just a copy and paste of the other thread
Tricorder -------- A: They would never be able to figure how to take them all out again. Finally, Starfleet would order Picard to ask his old friend Q for help. After screaming his name out loud a few times, Q would appear and ask Picard why did he call him. Picard would explain him the situation and ask to take the Sun, Earth and the Moon out of the sphere. Q: "Me? You want little moa to do you a favor? Oh, mon Capitan!" Picard [rolls eyes]: "Q, I don't have time for your usual show. I didn't want to call you, but Starfleet ordered me to, even though I told them you won't help us. Just cut to the chase and give me a straight 'yes or no' answer." Q: "Yes, I suppose I could do that, but where is the fun in that?" Picard: "You can have fun with yourself later. Now give me the answer." Q: "Oh, how rude! What happened to your French manners, mon Capitan? You used to be much nicer. Maybe I should go back to Voyager. Kathy has always been nice to me." Picard: *facepalms* :facepalm: Q: "Oh, what's the matter, Jean-Luc? You know I would never cheat on you with anyone else. You are my best friend, my amigo, my compadre!" Picard: "Does that mean you will help us?" Q: "All right, I will help you, but you must do something for me in return." Picard: "And what would that be? Another one of your games?" Q: "No no, I won't tell you yet and I won't tell you what. I will tell you when the time comes. It may be tomorrow and it may be years from now. The point is you won't know what I want until the time for you to pay your debt comes." Picard: "And if I don't want to do it?" Q: "Oh, don't worry, Jean-Luc. I will make you an offer you won't be able to refuse." *snaps his fingers and puts the Sun, Earth and the Moon to their original locations* Data: "Captain, according to my sensor readings, the Sun, Earth and the Moon have been returned to their original locations." Picard: "On screen." Q: "Satisfied? I hope I didn't put the Moon too close to your precious little planet." Data [scans]: "No, you did not. Moon's relative distance from Earth..." Picard: "Data..." Data: "Yes, Sir. I will shut up now." Q: "Well, my work here is done. I bid you adieu, mon Capitan. Just remember, I have you by your (Dyson's) ball(s)." *snaps his fingers and goes poof* =p Q: What if that really happened and Q came back after a few years to remind Jean-Luc of his debt and to claim it? What would he ask for? =p
a: Picard is reading his report on his computer in the readyroom of the enterprise d. He stands up, does his typical "pull my uniform right" and walks at the replicator. picard:"tea, earl grey, hot" He walks back to his computer and presses the only button on it. The screen appears but with Q's face on it. Picard shocked, gets irritated. Picard: Q! What is it this time!? Q: Surprise! *flashes out of the screen. A man in a captain's uniform is standing in front of Picard. Picard looks at the suit again. He feels annoyed that the man wears the uniform. Q: remember our little debt? I'm here to reclaim it my compadre. Picard: Q, i'm not your compadre. And yes i do remember it. What is it this time? Are the Q tired of you? Q: Ooh no my dear captain, they are loving my work and even gave me a new title. Wanna guess? Picard: NO! Q: I love your curiosity! They have named me...*flashes two men with drumms, that start knocking on the drumms to create an excitement* Picard: Enough! Just say it! Q: Rolls eyes* Picard, you have become so irritated! Still no relationship with that redhead of a doctor? Well, the Q continuum gave me the title, Ambassador of the Federation! Picard: spills tea* I beg your pardon! Q: Yes!! you heard it, i'm the ambassador of humanity! So, i'm asking you to get in that chair next to you and greet every race that we see on the way! Picard: What about counselor troi! That's her seat! Q: no worries mon capitan, she can sit on her knees! We all know she loves sitting on her knees! Picard: Q, i don't like it that you talk about my officers at this way! But.. i'm in your debt.. So i have no other choice.. Q: that's right jean luc! So chop chop, introduce me! Q: what if this really happened, what would happening after this?
A: Picard and Q walk out of Picard's ready room and enter the Bridge. Riker [stands up from his chair]: "Q! What do you want now?" Picard: "Sit down, Number One. I'll explain everything." Worf: *growls* Q: "You growled at me! My dear microbrain, you do care for me after all! I knew it! I always knew it." Malcolm: "Sirrr, permission to escort our guest to the Brig." Michael Dorn: "Excuse me, Mr. Keating, but I believe you're on the wrong set." Director: "Cut!" Dominic Keating: "Oh, right. My bad. I'm so sorry." *leaves the set in a hurry* Director: "All right, places everyone! From the top! Aaaaaand action!" Picard and Q walk out of Picard's ready room and enter the Bridge. Riker [stands up from his chair]: "Q! What do you want now?" Picard: "Sit down, Number One. I'll explain everything." Worf: *growls* Q: "You growled at me! My dear microbrain, you do care for me after all! I knew it! I always knew it." Worf: *gives Q a nasty look* Q: "Oh, go eat a book. Starfleet technical manuals are quite tasty, but a bit dry for my taste." Picard: "Lieutenant, calm down. Everyone, listen up! The Q Continuum gave the Q here the title of an Ambassador of the Federation. As a debt for his assistance in getting the Sun, Earth and the Moon out of the Dyson's Sphere few years ago, I have no choice to accept this. Q's job will be to greet every alien race we meet along the way in the name of the United Federation of Planets." Riker: "What?!" Worf: "Sir!" Picard: "Both of you - calm down! I'm not done yet. Q, as a Federation Ambassador, you are expected to follow our rules and procedures regarding the first contact. That means no playing with your powers, especially if we run into a pre-warp civilization." Q: "Oh, Jean-Luc, you and your precious rules and procedures. Such a party poopers." Picard: "Q! I'm serious here. Our rules and procedures exist for a reason. Unlike you, we don't have a luxury of playing Gods. We can't afford ourselves to make mistakes that have a potential do destroy an entire civilizations." Q [snorts]: "All right, all right, I'll play by your precious little rules and follow your precious little procedures. Most of the time." Picard: "Q!" Q: "Kidding! Just kidding! Of course I will play by your rules all the time. Gee. Who sucked all the fun out of you? Do you have an emotional vampire on this ship?" Deanna: "Actually, the only emotional vampire here is you. I sense a large amounts of negativity emanating from you." Q: "Do you now? Would you like to sense something else of mine, something even larger, preferably with your mouth?" :naughty: Riker [stands up again]: "You bastard! I ought to punch you right in the face." Q: "Uh, this is so exciting! A man wants to fight for the honor of his woman! How barbaric. Don't worry, you can be Number Two." Riker: "You make me sick." Q snaps his fingers and Riker disappears. Picard: "Q! What did you do? Where is my First Officer?" Q: "He said I'm making him sick, so I sent him to Sickbay." Picard: "Picard to Sickbay. Doctor Crusher, is Commander Riker there with you?" Riker: "I'm here, Sir." Picard: "Are you alright, Will?" Riker: "I'm fine, Sir. I'm already on my way back to the Bridge." Picard: "Good. Picard out." Q: "See? I told the truth. I would never lie to you, my compadre." Picard: "That's your only positive quality. And I'm not your compadre. Now for your sitting arrangement. Counselor, I'm afraid I have to ask you to give your seat to Q." Deanna: "But... but... where will I sit?" Q: "I'll take care of that." Q snaps his fingers. Deanna disappears, Q appears in her place and Deanna reappears, sitting in his lap. Q: "There. How's that?" Picard: "Oh, grow up, Q." Q [speaking to Deanna]: "Tell me, was there a time in his life when he had a sense of humor or was it surgically removed from his body after his birth?" Turbolift door opens and Riker enters the Bridge. Q: "Ah, Number Two, you're back! Feeling better now?" Picard: "Take your seat, Commander." Riker sits at his chair and glances at Q. Q [speaking to Deanna again]: "Well now, my dear, shall we get on?" Deanna rolls her eyes and gets off of Q. Q: "Fine then. You can be down on your knees. We all know how much you like being on your knees anyway." Everyone on the Bridge at the same time: "Oh, grow up, Q!" Q makes a sad face. Picard: "Well then, now that this matter has been settled, we can get underway and continue our mission. Mr. Data, set course for where no man has gone before!" Data: "Course laid in, Sir." Q: "Engage!" Picard gives a mean look to Q. Q: "Oh, I'm sorry, but I always wanted to say that." Picard: "Mr. Data, make it so!" And the Enterprise warps away. =p Q: What if Q got tired of everyone telling him to grow up and finally grew up? =p
a: The ship warps away. Q greets every race on his way. Q: hello, my dear small pathetic again looking humans! My name is Ambassador Q of the United federation of Planets. But you can call me Omnipotent God! Race: euh hello! Picard ends the transmission.* Q: But Jean Luc! We were just having a talk! How rude! Picard: Q! This is the not an proper manner! The last race were shouting blasphemy! You dishonored their god! What is it this time? Worf: Why don't you grow up Q? Q: Is that the only thing you want me to do microbrain? Worf: No, die! Q: Rolls eyes* Fine, if you want me to grow up.*snaps finger Q grows till his head hits the ceiling.* Riker: What in the devil! Q enough of this! Your jokes are getting redicilious! Captain, we have learned enough of the Q. They are just small children with big powers. Q: haha, not only that my dear primate! Deanna: ooh please Q. Picard looks serious at Q. Q nodds and flashes back to his normal length. Q: Fine, i'll be in ten forward. Data looks at Q, who looks depressed. Data: Q, may i join you? Q: ooh another party pooper. Sure why not... Data nodds and looks at the serious but smiling Riker. In the turbolift Q: it seems i'm on a boat of humans that have no humour. Data: I'm an android, i don't have humour, but i want to learn it. Q: raises his finger and looks at Data. Data: No thank you, i will pass on your offer. Both enter the ten forward section. Q looks around and sees Guinan. Q: ooh please, is this creature still working here.. You people are so desperate. *flashes finger Two beautiful ladies with big boobs flashes next to Guinan and start serving drinks. Data: Q, eum... Q: Ooh please Data.. What's wrong this?? I added these two because they are pretty and good looking! Data: that's the point. If you add two normal people, Guinan could respect it. Q: flashes them away* I don't get you people.. Data: Try to be civilized but still funny, don't use your powers. If you are off duty, you can loose up. Q: Mmh, just that? I need to have some respect and that's it? Data: Yes, show that you respect someone by being friendly, like you were when you were human here. People started respecting you. Suddenly the ship rocks. Q looks astonished. An alarm goes off.. Picard: this is captain picard! All hands to battle stations! Commander Data and Ambassador Q, report to the bridge! Q: What if Q shows up on the bridge and needs to correct this situation without his powers?
A: Q flashes himself and Data to the Bridge. Ship rocks again, couple of consoles explode and Deanna moans as she almost falls of her seat.
Q [talking to Deanna]: "Uh, I love it when you make that sound."
Picard: "Damage report!"
Worf: "Shields are at 50%. Minor hull damage on Decks 6 and 7. No casualties reported so far."
Riker: "Still no response to our hails, Captain."
Q: "What seems to be the problem, mon Capitan?"
Picard: "Remember that alien race who's God you dishonored with your oversized ego?"
Q: "Yes, of course I remember them and their precious little non-existing God they so foolishly believe in."
Picard: "Well, guess what? They came after us and they don't appear to be in a good mood." *points at the viewscreen, showing a large alien ship firing at the Enterprise*
Ship rocks again and more consoles explode.
Worf: "Shields are down to 30%! Casualties reports are starting to come in. Captain, permission to return fire!"
Picard: "Denied!" We don't want to provoke them any more than we already did, not if we're going to find a peaceful solution for this problem."
Riker: "Well, they don't seem to be interested in talking to us. Perhaps our Ambassador here could snap his fingers and make them more chatty."
Q [smiles]: "Can I, Jean-Luc? Can I? Pleeeaaaseee?"
Picard: "No! You using your powers on them would undoubtably provoke them even further. Not to mention your ego."
Q: "Mine is bigger than yours, as our lovely Counselor here can confirm."
Picard: *rolls eyes*
Ship rocks again, Bridge loses power, viewscreen and all lights shut down.
Worf: "We've lost main power. Switching to auxiliary power."
Emergency lights power up.
Picard: "What's our condition?"
Worf: "Shields are down, tactical systems are down, hull integrity is down to 80%, casualties reports are coming from all decks. Lots of injured people, but no fatalities."
Geordi: "Warp and Impulse engines are offline."
Data: "Sensors are still functioning, but... hold on. Captain, we are being hailed by the attacking ship."
Riker: "Ah, so now they want to talk."
Picard: "On screen."
Viewscreen switches back on, showing an ugly looking alien.
Q: "Ugh, I almost forgot how ugly they are."
Picard: "Shut up, Q!" *looks at the viewscreen* "This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise. Why have you disabled my ship?"
Alien: "Your so called "Ambassador" has insulted our God! We demand satisfaction!"
Q: "Sorry, I don't do primates." *turns to Deanna* "But I would always make an exception for you, my dear."
Alien: "Insolence! One more insult and we will destroy your ship!"
Q: "Oh, go ahead! Fire! Finish the job! I dare you, you primitive..."
Picard: "Shut up, Q!"
Alien: "We are losing our patience, Captain!"
Picard: "All right, all right. Let's all calm down and talk this through, please. Now, what would you like us to do? Can we somehow make up for insulting your God? Tell us what you want us to do and we'll do it."
Alien: "Apologize and show respect to our God."
Picard: "What exactly do we have to do to show respect to your God?"
Alien: "First, your Ambassador must apologize for his insolence and then you as a ship's Captain must sacrifice him to our God."
Picard: "Sacrifice? You mean kill?"
Picard [smiles]: "Very well. Stand by." *mutes audio and looks at Q* "Well?"
Q: "What? You expect me to apologize to those freakosauruses? ME, Q the Magnificent, Q the Omnipotent! Oh please. Pfffffft. I ought to just blast them into the oblivion for their insolence."
Picard [sighs]: "You just don't get it, do you? You will never learn that some things in this universe are more important than your ego. You would rather let us all die or kill the crew of that ship than to put your ego aside for a moment, do the right thing and apologize."
Q: "Well, yes."
Picard: "You selfish hopeless bastard. When will you finally grow up?" *sits at his chair and facepalms* Spoiler:
Q: "All right, all right, if it means so much to you, I will apologize to those... those... things, but only for you, my amigo, my compadre!"
Picard: "I'm not your... eh, nevermind. Just do it." *resumes audio, stands up and approaches the viewscreen* "Captain, our Ambassador is ready to apologize."
Alien: "We are waiting."
Q [stands in front of the viewscreen and clears his throat]: "I, Q the Omni... no, wait, let me start again." *clears his throat again* "I, Q, the Ambassador of the United Federation of the Planets, offer my sincere apologies for my behavior to you and to your God."
Alien: "Apology accepted. Now for the second part of your redemption."
Worf: "Captain, permission to kill Q for you. Let me snap his neck just this once and I will never do it again."
Q: "Oh, you'd love to do that, wouldn't you? Unfortunately for you, the aliens demanded the Captain to execute me, so hah!"
Picard [talks to the Captain of the alien ship]: "Captain, do I really have to execute the Ambassador by myself or would it be possible for me to delegate this sacred duty to one of my officers?"
Alien: "As long as you witness the execution with your own eyes, anyone can do it. Our God allows it."
Q: "But, but..."
Worf: *grines in an evil manner*
Picard: "Sorry, Q. Justice is justice. Mr. Worf, make it so."
Worf jumps over his station, grabs Q and snaps his neck with an expression of joy in his eyes. Q's body falls to the ground lifelessly. Worf smiles.
Picard: "It's done. Our Ambassador is dead. I witnessed it and you've seen it with your own eyes. I trust this act has fully redeemed us in the eyes of your God and that we can avoid any further hostilities between our people."
Alien: "We agree. Safe journey to you, Captain."
Viewscreen switches to showing an alien ship from the outside. Picard watches the ship as it turns around and warps away.
Q [chuckles from the floor]: "I thought they'll never leave." *flashes himself back up and flash-fixes the ship* "Well, that was fun."
Worf [mumbles]: "Especially for me."
Q [speaks to Picard]: "And you say I'm dangerous."
Picard: "Status report."
Worf: "All systems are at 100%. No casualties."
Q: "Oh, don't worry, Jean-Luc. I fixed your little ship and healed all injured crewmembers. Everything is as good as new."
Geordi: "Confirmed. He even fixed that screeching sound my chair used to make every time I turned around."
Picard: "Well, I hope you learned something from this experience, Q."
Q: "I most certainly did. Next time, when I dishonor someone's God, I will make sure they can't come after me to seek revenge."
Q: "Oh, seriously, Jean-Luc. Grow a sense of humor. It won't bite you."
Picard: "Don't push it."
Q: "And you said I'm hopeless. You know, I changed my mind. I don't want to be your Ambassador anymore. It's boring. Here, you can have my resignation." *Federation PADD appears in Picard's hand*
Picard [reads the PADD]: "Is this another one of your games?"
Q: "No, mon Capitan. I'm completely serious now. You should appreciate it. Don't get used to it, though. You won't get another chance to see me serious. Not any time soon anyway."
Picard: "Very well, if this is what you want..."
Q: "It is."
Picard: "So, I guess this is goodbye, then."
Q: "Goodbye? Oh no no, mon Capitan! This is just a 'see you later'. Goodbye, my little friends! Try not to miss me too much." *snaps his fingers and disappears*
Riker [sighs with a relief]: "Finally, he's gone."
Picard: "Don't worry, Number One, he'll be back." *Terminator main theme plays in the background as the camera pans away from the ship*
Q: Picard has enough of me, but his big friend Sisko perhaps not!
Deep Space Nine, a cardassian station, now under supervision of the federation and the bajorans. Sisko is sitting in his chair and plays with his baseball. He has lost some of his friends when the Klingons invaded the station.
Flash appears in front of him. Sisko eyebrown goes up.
A baseballer stands in front of him and swings, with a result that the bat slams his small nebula class model to pieces.
Sisko: WHAT THE HELL IS IT THIS TIME Q!?
Q: Oh my! I broke your little spaceship! *flashes finger and the ship is repaired* Benjamin, you mad puppy ! You barked my head off!
Sisko: What is your problem now, Q. I don't have time for you!
Q: Tututut, you always say that. I just came from your close friend...
Sisko: Captain Reynolds?
Q: Who? No, i mean Jean luc.
Sisko: Captain Picard is not my close friend, he killed my wife.. And i heard about your Ambassador's role on the ship.
Q: Ooh, go back and cry in the corner, my little emo friend. He didn't killed your wife, btw, do you want her back? I can create her in a flash!
Sisko: It's not the same woman Q. Now i repeat again, what are you doing here?
Q: Well, I did my role exemplary, but Picard just doesn't have any kind of humour. Perhaps i can hang with my lovely chaps, Bashir and O'Brien!
Sisko: Come in.
Worf and Kira are dazzled with Q's appearances.
Worf and Kira: Q!!
Q: Worf! I can see you already missed me!! And ooh look at you! My small bajoran terrorist! How cute!
Kira: Captain, permission to vaporise our guest?
Worf: Captain, permission to rip out the spine of our intruder?
Sisko: hold your horses, you two.. What is it?
Kira: We have detected a massive fleet of Jem'Hadar ships at the other side of the wormhole.
Sisko: How many ships...
Q, who flashes back to his captain's uniform, follows the conversation and blinks at Worf.
Worf: 2900 ships.
Sisko: the alpha quadrant is not ready for such a major confrontation..
Q: Aah voila, my dear pathetic humans, this is why i want to help you people! I can help you defeat them. So i ask to reinstate my status!*gives padd.
Sisko: No thank you Q..
Q: Oow Benjamin please.. A lot of people are going to die, Cardassia will be in chaos, the microbrains will be almost extinct and you federations will be more barbaric again.
Worf: We prefer to die in battle than to be helped with you. Q: flashes with his finger and worf dissapears*
Kira: Where the hell is Worf?
Q: I placed him on one of the pylons of the station in a suit. Let's have a serious talk with the brain people here.
Sisko: Q, we don't want you hear!
Q: My apologies, but perhaps you need a small reminder who i am. I can wipe out your entire race everywhere in the galaxy with my thought. I am a god. Humanity is still on trial.
Kira, shocked by Q looks at Sisko who looks back at her.
Sisko: Fine, just behave yourself and no powers on my station.
Q: Nodds and gives Kira a kiss on her cheek.
Kira: Oh my..
Q walks out and looks at Bashir and O'Brien.
Worf: Captain, is it possible to beam me back to ops?
Sisko: yes mr worf..
Q: Hello chaps! Quarks?
O'Brien and Bashir:
O'Brien: "Oh no. Not you again. What do you want now, Q?"
Q: "What do I want? Do I need a reason to visit my old friends, my old amigos, my compadres?"
O'Brien: "Friends? Hah! What gave you an idea any of us here is your friend?"
Q: "Remember the good times we had on Enterprise? All the fun with had?"
O'Brien: "Fun? You accused us of being barbarians, put the entire humanity on trial for our alleged crimes and tortured the crew with your stupid games!" You call that FUN?"
Q: "Let's not forget I did your species a favor by introducing you to the Borg."
O'Brien: "A favor? Lives were lost in that encounter just so you can humiliate Captain Picard and you say you did us a favor? Are you insane?"
Q: "Say, do you have any Klingon blood in your veins by any chance? You're awfully stupid, even for a Human. Think about it. The Borg knew about the humanity before the little meeting I arranged. The Cube you encountered was already on it's way to Earth. If it weren't for me, your precious little Federation would be caught completely off-guard. You wouldn't know what hit you until it's too late. If it weren't for me, all of you would be drones now. Not a pretty thought, isn't it?"
O'Brien: "What are you talking about?"
Bashir: "How could the Borg know about Earth before their first encounter with the Enterprise?"
Q: "If I tell you, I would violate one of your precious little rules and directives."
O'Brien: "Hah! Since when do you care about our rules and directives?"
Q: "I don't, but I'm trying to impress you primates by pretending that I care."
Bashir: "Interesting. So the Q can fake it too."
Q: "Ah, is that the only thing you monkeys ever think about? Honestly, I'm surprised you get anything done. My species has evolved beyond that."
Bashir: "Really? So how does your species reproduce?"
Q: "It's beyond the level of understanding of your primitive little brain. Let's just say we use our fingers." :naughty:
Everyone in OPS turn around and look at Q with the shocked expressions on their faces.
Q: "What? Why are you all looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?"
Bashir: "You use your fingers? Oh my. Excuse me, I need to enter this into my medical log." *leaves OPS* =p
Q: "Well, that's one down. Care to join me at Quark's for a drink? My treat."
O'Brien: "Sorry, I have a lot of work to do. This station seems intended on falling apart. Sometimes I wonder what's keeping it together."
Q: "You know, I can help you if you want. Your entire work will be done in a second." *raiser finger*
O'Brien: "No thanks. I don't want any favors from you. They don't come cheap. Last thing I want is to be in your debt."
Q: "Fine. If you don't want to be my friend, feel free to do it the hard way. I don't need you anyway. I don't need any of you. I can make myself a friend anytime I want."
Q snaps his fingers and makes another one of himself, like he did here:
Q2: "Ta-da!" =p
O'Brien: "Oh, grow up, Q."
Q: "Why does everyone keep telling me that?"
Q2: "I honestly have no idea. They're probably jealous at the size of our fingers."
Q: "Ah, so typical for the primates. They're all like that, not just the Humans."
Q2: "Ah, don't remind me. Sometimes I wonder why we even bother with them."
Worf beams into OPS.
Q: "Oh look, the microbrain is back!"
Q2: "Do you think he's jealous at the size of our brains?"
Q: "Hungry?" *snaps his fingers and flashes a book in Worf's hands*
Q2: "Bon Appétit."
Q: "What did you give him?"
Q2: "A copy of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, cheapest binding possible."
Worf: *starts to growl louder and louder*
Q: "Uh-oh. I think you made him angry."
Q2: "Yes, perhaps he can't stomach the Rules of Acquisition." *speaks to Worf* "How about a copy of Moby Dick?"
Worf: "When I'm done with you, you will be Moby without a dick!"
Everyone in OPS start to laugh. =p
Q: "I think he's in a bad mood today."
Q2: "Yes, he seems more annoyed than usual. Perhaps we should leave him alone. We don't want to accidentally cause his microbrain to explode."
Q: "Yes, that would be ashame. Just imagine the mess it would make." *snaps his fingers and makes Q2 go poof* "Well, I'm off to Quark's on my own. I wonder if the Dabo girls would like to be my friends." *snaps his fingers and disappears*
Flashes back to ops.
Q: "I almost forgot, no powers this time. Let's take this old rusty elevator of yours."
*stands in the elevator and looks forward.
Q: "Quarks and hurry up dear!"
Q: "*rolls eyes* fine, just make it quick."
Q walks on the promenade and sees the doctor.
Q: "aah Julian, I was heading to the flappy ear bar. Don't worry, no powers are being used! I even took your elevator. My god, i almost thought that it used robes to move itself!"
Bashir: "Well, if you promise that you don't use your powers, i will join you and if you promise to give me a history lesson about the Q."
Q: "Sure! Thank you my medium sized IQ friend!"
Both enter Quarks.
Q: "Two Cardassian sunrises on the double and keep the scotch ready!"
Quark: "Are you not that god that troubled the enterprise?"
Q:"I see my reputation has already travelled to this bar! Yes i am my beautiful hobbit! But don't worry, my powers are for the moment resting."
Quark: "Too bad, perhaps you and me could had some kind of deal..."
Bashir: "Q, about that scotch, no saurian scotch for me. I want to get home without the transporter."
Q: "Ooh don't worry, daddy Q will take care of you!"
Quark gives two cardassian sunrises.
Q: "To my friend, mon ami! *serious tone* let our friendship be forever, let it be solid as no plasma storms could ever break it."
Quark:"that sounds a bit..."
Q: "gay? Mmh, i thought so.."
Bashir: " To our new comrade! Q from the continuum! "
Both have a drink.
Q: "Mmmmmh, this is great!"
Bashir:"Indeed it is, now about the Q!"
Q:"Aah yes, i will give you a short history lesson. The Q are omnipotent gods, but you knew that already. We exist already a long time, i cannot say how long because your vocabulary doesn't have a word for it. Also time plays a role. We don't think linear.."
Julian: "Time is not important for you, because you can manipulate it as wel ?"
Q: "Indeed, not only time but everything. I can make this entire universe as small as an amoebe. I can change the gravity fields of multiverses etc."
Julian: "In humans terms, you are a real god, i believe...And somewhere i do understand why you play with us, we are actually pets for you."
Q: " Do you know you are actually smart.. for a human i mean. And you are right, but still i appreciate you, that's why i introduced you people to the borg. To make sure you survived."
Julian: "I understand*smiles and haves a sip from his drink*"
Q:" Do you have a hot femal..... Ooh no please..."
Worf: "You have to be kidding me... Doctor, do you know who this traitor is?"
Q smiles at the doctor.
Bashir: "In fact i do know who he is Worf, if you think about it. Q is the savior of the human race."
Worf gets angry and grabs Q.
Worf: "P'tak, stop putting hallucinations in his mind!"
bashir: "Damn it Worf! Think about it! If Q didn't introduced the enterprise to the borg, we would be completely assimilated. Thanks to this, starfleet started building the defiant, akira, norway, steamrunner class vessels. Q woke the federation up. If we didn't met the borg, we already lost the war against the Klingons."
Q: "I'm happy to see that one person actually understand what i've done."
Worf: "but that still doesn't make up all the games you did with us! You toyed with the crew of the enterprise!"
Q: "Ooh please worf, think further than your beard! Come back if you do! Julian understands it! "
Quark: "Doctor, your holodeck reservation is ready."
Q not using his powers? Where's the fun in that? =p Anyway, to continue the story:
Bashir: "What, now?"
Quark: "Yes, now. You and Chief O'Brien practically begged me to save some Holosuite time for the two of you and this is the only free time this week. Everything else is booked solid."
Bashir: "Oh, right. I remember now. Q, do you mind? I promised this to Miles. And I really don't want to disappoint him."
Q: "No no, it's fine. A promise is a promise. I'll just sit here and finish my drink, all alone..." :(
Bashir: "Alone? You're in a bar. Just look around you. You're surrounded by people. How can you be alone in such a crowded place?"
Q: "But I don't know anyone. None of these people here are my friends."
Bashir: "Worf, would you do me a favor and sit here with Q to keep him company? Order any drink you want and put it on my tab."
Q: "Yes, Worf, would you be my friend? I promise I won't insult you so much by calling you the microbrain."
Q: "Ok ok, I won't call you the microbrain at all! Happy now?"
Worf: "You honorless targ. I would rather suffer a dishonorable death than to spend any more time with you in the same room, much less become your friend."
Bashir: "Now now, Worf. A Romulan might say: 'Only a veruul would use such language in public'."
Q: "Ah, you are doing a far better job insulting him than I do, my dear Doctor!" =p
Quark [coughs]: "Gentlemen, if you're done with your drinks, please order another round or make room for the other customers. I have a business here to run. Doctor, your Holosuit time is already ticking."
Bashir: "Oh, right." *taps Combadge* "Bashir to Chief O'Brien."
O'Brien: "Yes, Julian, what is it?"
Bashir: "We have a Holosuit time scheduled for today, remember? I'm waiting for you at Quark's."
O'Brien: "Holosuit? Today? Now? I completely forgot. Sorry, but I can't make it. I'm swamped in work here. This station seems to hate me. As soon as I fix something, another system breaks down. Can we reschedule it for another time?"
Bashir: "Not this week, I'm afraid. According to Quark, Holosuit is booked solid."
O'Brien: "How about the next week, then?"
Bashir: "Hold on." *looks at Quark* "Well?"
Quark [checks reservation list]: "I have a whole Tuesday open."
Bashir [speaks to O'Brien]: "How about Tuesday?"
O'Brien: "I don't know. It all depends on how much this station hates me. Tell you what; if nothing serious breaks down, count me in."
Bashir: "Ok. Bashir out." *looks at Quark* "Quark..."
Quark: "Yes, Doctor, I've already put your and Chief's name on the list for Tuesday. All I need to know now is the exact time, just in case someone else wants to use the Holosuit on Tuesday. And yes, I know - you can't tell me the exact time yet. It all depends on the Chief O'Brien's free time. Don't worry, Doctor, I understand."
Bashir: "Quark, you're the best." *looks at Worf* "Well, Worf, looks like you're off the hook." *looks at Q* "Q, I'm all yours for the rest of the day. What would you like to do now?"
Q [smiles]: "I... I... I don't know. I honestly don't know. What do you usually do for fun around here? Any suggestions?"
Worf [grines]: "Become mortal again and let me kill you. For good this time." :evilgrin:
Q: "Me? Dead? I don't see any fun in that."
Worf [grines again]: "I do." :evilgrin:
Q: "Oh, ha-ha. Very funny." :rolleyes:
Bashir: "Q, let's go. I'll show you the station."
Q: "I've already seen it all, inside and outside, even the parts that haven't been accessed since the station was built, but ok. Let's go, my amigo!"
Bashir and Q get off their chairs and walk past Morn.
Worf [in the background]: "Chilled Prune juice. Extra large." =p
Suddenly, an explosion is heard and the station rocks.
Bashir: "What the..." *looks around* "Is everyone alright?"
Q: "I wonder what that was."
Bashir: "Sounded like an explosion. I wonder..."
Comsignal cuts Bashir off in the middle of the sentence.
Kira: "Medical emergency in OPS! Doctor Bashir, report to OPS immediately!"
Bashir: "Oh no. Miles is there. Excuse me, Q, duty calls!" *runs to Sickbay to get a first aid kit*
Q sees Bashir running away. Worf runs behind Bashir.
Quark: " Don't you need to know what has happened?"
Q: "Should i? What can i do?"
Quark: "You wanted to have friends? Show them that you feel compassion, that you care about them..."
Q:"Mmmh perhaps, who knows i can score a date with your bajoran commander."
Quark smiles back. And both men laugh.
Quark:"Perhaps i can arrange something between both of you ..."
Q:"Excellent, but i'm gonna have a look at ops."
Q walks to the elevator and enters.
The elevator moves into the section of ops, smokes fills the elevator.
Q: "Ooh my, did someone pushed a wrong button?"
Q sees Bashir running around and shouting to his nurses. He sees one of his 'friends' on the ground.
Q walks towards Bashir.
Q:"What happened? What's wrong?"
Bashir: "Not now Q!"
Q: "Anyone! What happened?"
Worf:"You are not welcome Q! But if you want to know, there was a huge overload in one of the power couplings of the new weapon systems."
Q sees o'Brien on the floor, his face and chest completely black of the explosion.
Bashir: "I want 50cc lalazine!"
The nurse gives him everything that he asks but its futile.
Q feels some kind of sadness. He is losing a "friend."
Q looks around and sees Sisko, Worf and Kira looking at O'Brien. They all look sad. Q feels bad. Did the people on board of the Enterprise felt the same as he did?
Bashir:"There is nothing i can do for him.. The damage was too big.."
Q couldn't believe it. Would he use his power and save this man or ignore it.
Q looks at Kira and Sisko who look back at him. Q gives a small nod and walks back to the elevator. When the elevator moves towards the promenade, the tricorder of Bashir starts beeping again.
Bashir:"How is this possible!? Everything is back normal! He is alive!
Kira and Sisko both look at each other.
Q walks back on the promenade with a smile on his face. He looks out of the window and sees the Defiant.
Q: "I wanna have a go with that little ship!"
Odo [walks from behind and coughs]: "Mister Q, I hope you're not planning on doing something stupid, like taking the Defiant for a joyride."
Q [turns around and faces Odo]: "Mister Q? I have never been referred to as 'Mister' before. I like the sound of it. Mister Q. It has a nice overtone, don't you think, my little shape shifting friend?"
Odo: "First of all, I am not your friend. Second, I referred to you as 'Mister' out of respect, although from what I've heard about you, you don't deserve any respect whatsoever."
Q: "Oh, you heard of a little o moa, hmm? Do tell. Has Jean-Luc been whispering about me behind my back?"
Odo: "Yes, Captain Picard's reports about you were quite interesting, but at the same time quite disturbing reading material. Let's just say I know enough about you not to let you anywhere near the Defiant, much less let you aboard."
Q: "But if you know so much about me, then you must also know that I don't need your permission to do anything." *raises finger*
Odo: "Yes, I'm aware of your godlike powers. What I don't understand is what you're doing here among us, 'the inferiors'. Are you bored again? Planning on hurling the station in the path of another Borg Cube, perhaps?"
Q: "How rude! I would never do such a thing! Twice. I don't like repeating myself."
Odo: "Hah! You're a child, Q. An overgrown child with powers he's too immature to use responsibly, a real menace to the galaxy and to the safety of this station."
Q: "But I would never do anything to put your precious little station in danger. I'm more mature now than I was at the time I met Jean-Luc for the first time. All I want is to be someone's friend, to do what friends usually do. I even decided not to use my powers during my stay here."
Odo: "Oh please. You expect me to believe that a godlike entity with a mind of a child who amuses himself by putting lower lifeforms in danger and watches them fight for their lives wants to be a friend to those same lifeforms?"
Q: "Well... yes."
Odo: "Hah! Nice try. Now do everyone here, me in particular, a favor and get off the station. Maintaining order around here is difficult enough as it is. I don't need you to give me extra work. For all I know, you're probably responsible for the recent explosion. Let me guess, you wanted to see how long will it take Chief O'Brien to die from the injuries?"
Q: "If you must know, I brought Chief O'Brien back from the dead. I guess someone forgot to add that little detail to the report you received from OPS, hmm? Oh, that's right. I haven't told anyone it was me."
Odo: "Awww. I had no idea you can be so modest." :rolleyes:
Comsignal attracts Odo's attention.
Sisko: "Sisko to Odo. Constable, please report to my office. I need to speak to you about something regarding station security."
Odo [taps combadge]: "On my way, Captain." *gives a grumpy look to Q* "I have to go. Stay away from the Defiant."
Q: "Good. Go. Leave. I don't want to make friends with someone so rude anyway."
Q [talks to himself]: "Ugh, he's so rigid and uptight for a shape shifter." *looks at the elevator and sees Kira stepping out of it just as Odo enters it, followed by Odo talking to Kira for a brief moment and pointing at Q*
Kira nods and walks toward Q.
Kira [walks up to Q]: "So, the Constable told me about the little chat he just had with you. He also mentioned you've been eyeballing the Defiant. If you wish to leave, just go. From what I've heard about you, you certainly don't need a ship to travel through space."
Q: "Why are everyone so keen on getting rid of me? The only nice person here is the good Doctor. He understands me."
Kira: "Understands what? That you're an overgrown egoistical brat who thrives on the suffering of others?"
Q [rolls eyes]: "Ah, I can see why the shape shifter is attracted to you." :rolleyes: "No, my dear. Like many other people, including my friend Jean-Luc, you have misjudged me."
Kira: "Did I now? Well why don't you enlighten me? What do you want from us?"
Q: "All I want is to be someone's friend, to do what friends usually do."
Kira: "So, your idea of making friends includes accusing an entire race for being what they are, putting them on some mock-up trial, delivering one of their ships to the Borg and torturing them in various other ways?"
Q [rolls eyes]: "Ah, I see you've been reading Jean-Luc's reports too." :rolleyes: "As I told to your shape shifting friend, I have changed since then and became more mature. Well, more mature by the Human standards anyway."
Kira: "Really? And why should any of us here believe you?"
Q: "Haven't I been a good boy during my stay here so far? Have I caused any, what you define as 'trouble'?"
Kira: "Remember what you did to Worf?"
Q: "Oh, that. That was nothing. Just a little joke between me and the micro... I mean Worf. He wasn't injured or anything like that."
Kira: "See? That's the problem. You see it as a joke. Worf does not. That's why he has no respect for you. That's why no one has any respect for you. Wherever you go, you just barge in and start showing off with your powers without any regard to what anyone else might think about that. It's all about you. You will never make any friends like that. You need to take what others feel and think into consideration."
Q: "But why? Why does it have to be so complicated? Why do you mortals spend so much time worrying about the feelings of others? It seems like such a waste of time."
Kira: "I can't explain it to you. We just do. It's our nature to care for those close to us. And if you want to make friends with us, you'll just have to be like us."
Q: "Ugh, no thanks. Being mortal once was more than enough for me. Such a horrible experience. If I had to sleep, I would probably have nightmares about it."
Kira: "I'm not talking about that. You don't have to become mortal to be like us. All you have to do is show respect to people and understatement for their thoughts and feelings instead of snapping your fingers every time someone opposes you."
Q: "But... I like snapping my fingers. Besides, what's the point in arguing with someone for an extended period of time if I can win an argument in a blink of an eye?"
Kira [sighs]: "You just don't get it, don't you?"
Q: "I don't know. Do I?"
Kira: "No, you don't. After everything I said to you, you are still thinking like a selfish little brat who has to win in every game he plays."
Q: "But... I like winning. Is that wrong?"
Kira: "No, it's not. We all like winning. No one likes to lose, but being someone's friend means losing sometimes. You can't win every time. Sometimes you have to swallow your ego and let your friend win. Take Chief O'Brien and Doctor Bashir for example. Despite being completely different persons and even not liking each other very much at first, they became the best friends here. I haven't seen any of them spending so much of their free time with anyone else. They play their stupid little games together. Sometimes Chief wins and sometimes Julian wins. See what I mean?"
Q: "I think I do. Yes, it all makes sense now. I need to level the play field and make everyone equal to me." *snaps fingers*
Kira: "What did you just do?"
Q: "I gave everyone on this station my powers. Now everyone can do everything I can and I will finally have friends!" =p
Kira: "WHAT?!!! You did WHAT?!!!" [quickly looks around] "You gave everyone your powers?!!! Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea how stupid that was?!!! Undo what you did! Now! Quickly, before people start snapping their fingers!"
Q: "Oh relax. They don't know they have my powers. Jeez, you're even more uptight than your shape shifting boyfriend."
Q: "No. I won't do it. You can do it yourself."
Q: "I gave my powers to everyone on this station. And guess where you are!" =p
Kira: "Oh, that's right." *waves hand* "These are not the droids you're looking for." =p
Q [rolls eyes]: "Oh ha ha. Very funny. Jedi mind tricks don't work in the Star Trek universe." =p
Kira [still waves her hand around]: "Nothing is happening. How do you use your powers?"
Q: "Just think of what you want to do and it will happen. You don't need to use your hands at all if you don't want to."
Kira: "Really? Let me try." *thinks about something* "Done."
Q: "Well? What did you do? Do tell. Share with the little me."
Kira: "I corrected your foolishness and took everyone's powers away."
Q [with fear in his voice]: "Everyone's? Absolutely everyone's?"
*snaps fingers* Nothing happens. *snaps fingers again* Nothing happens. *snaps fingers on both hands at the same time* Nothing happens.
Q: "Oh no. I'm... I'm... mortal. Again!" :eek:
Kira: "Whoops!" =p
Q: "Whoops? Whoops? Give me my powers back, woman! I feel naked without them!" =p
Kira: "All right, all right! Hold on." *snaps her fingers and disappears*
Q [shocked]: "Major? Major? Where are you? This isn't funny! I want my powers baaack!!!" =p
Q: "Damn it! I could have known better! " *flashes finger again with no luck.
Q looks around and asks every alien where Major Kira is but with no luck.
He walks towards the ops elevator.
Q: "Primitive computer, go to warp or something, this is so damn slow!" The elevator goes slowly towards Ops. Q steps out of the elevator and walks towards Sisko and Kira.
Q: "Nerys! I want you to give my powers back, NOW!" Kira: "Or what? You are going to spank me?"
Q: "If you wish, I'll do it rough!" Sisko: "It seems you almost interrupted the entire station again, but thanks to major Kira, the situation is under control.."
Kira: "Captain, about the powers.. Can i speak with you about that? In private?" Sisko nods..
Q looks irritated and looks at the consoles. Bashir walks towards him and gives a gentile knock on the shoulder.
Bashir:" Thank you Q." Q: "For what?"
Bashir: "For saving Miles.. Without you, he was dead." Q:"I know.. I .. I saw you people and somewhere I understood it all. So I helped. It is the least I could do for a friend."
Bashir: "You want to visit Miles? I think he would be honored to see his savior!" Q nods. Q: "Remember Julian, the lovely Bajoran terrorist made me human.. I need some sort of protection or a teacher that can make me live through these human days."
Bashir: "No worries mate, we will have an excellent meal at the Replimat later. Now let's go to my office."
Q gives a small grin. Both men walk towards the elevator. While the elevator goes down, Q rolls his eyes again.
Sisko: "It wasn't a smart move that Q did but he is really trying to become our friends."
Kira: "Yes he is.. But still we cannot trust him." Sisko: "I don't think Q is going to be any problem now, especially when he is human again."
Kira: "Julian is getting friends with Q. Everyone is talking about it." Sisko: "I know.. How long are you gonna keep him human? And the most important part, what are you going to do with Q's powers?"
Kira shatters in tears.
Kira: "I think I'm gonna let him stay as a human for a long period!" Sisko smiles and takes his baseball.
Sisko: "What are you gonna do with the powers of Q?"
Kira: "Nothing. Why should I use them?"
Sisko stares at her for a few seconds. He drops his baseball on the table again.
Sisko: "Yes.. why should you use them."
Worf: "Captain, a Cardassian warship has arrived into the sector and is under attack by Gowron's forces. It's asking for our help.."
Sisko: "Prepare the Defiant! I'm on my way. Major, you stay here!"
Kira nods and walks out the office while she sees Worf and Sisko taking the elevator.
She remembers the words of Sisko.. Why wouldn't she use the powers? Bring back Kai Opaka, or better.. go back in time and help the bajorans against the cardassians. She stares at the federation and bajoran people that are working behind their consoles. They looked so small.. She looks at her hands and closes her eyes. She flashes away..
Q walks on the promenade together with his friend Bashir.
Q: "I see this is your little shop! Very nice my augmented friend!" Bashir: "I'm not Khan, Q. There is a difference.."
Q:"I think you are right, you are more handsome.." Bashir smiles.
Both men walk towards the biobed where Chief O'Brien is resting.
Q: "Be aware, the hot orion nurses have arrived.." Miles opens slowly his eyes. Bashir:"How are you chump?"
Miles: "Like a shuttlepod landed on my head." Q looks at the medicine bottles on the shelves.
Miles looks at him and whispers at Julian. Miles: "Are you really sure he saved me?" Bashir nods. Miles rolls his eyes and tries to sit up.
Miles:"Q.." Q looks at Miles and walks slowly towards him. Q: "yes my dear? Do i need to take your temperature? Or perhaps some Tholian silk instead of this starfleet stuff? I remember they gave me a terrible rash!"
Julian: "It's actually Bajoran but never mind.." Julian smiles and walks away.
Miles:"You really did save my life. I .. don't know what to say." Q smiles sadly. Miles: "Thank you Q. I wouldn't want to know what would happen to Keiko and Molly if I was dead actually.."
Q sits down and stares at him. Miles swallows and looks at him.
Miles: "I don't know what's wrong with you but you have really changed. What's wrong Q?" Q:"The fact I'm human again? Or that no ones tries to understand I want to be with your kind?"
Miles looks at Julian that was standing with a padd in the distance.
Miles:"You already have a friend and he is standing with a padd over there." Q:"I know, but still.."
Q sees a hand in front of him. He looks up.
Miles:"Let's give it a try?" Q looks amazed. He shakes hands slowly with Miles and nods.
Julian arrives at the two persons.
Julian:"Q, are we off to the Replimat?" Q: "Yes! Take care O'Brien."
Both men walk away.
Miles:"Q, Julian.." Both men look back.
Miles: "Wednesday.. holodeck six. The battle of Britain." Julian smiles at Q who smiles back.
Julian: "We'll be there!"
On a smoky battlefield, on a religious planet called Bajor, a woman appears.
Kira sees a battalion of cardassian soldiers led by Prefect Dukat in the distance. She traveled back to the occupation of Bajor..
Dukat [from the distance]: "Stay in formation! Fire on anything that moves!"
Cardassian soldier: "Yes, Sir!"
Kira [talking to herself]: "Dukat..."
Her eyes fill with hatred and become bright red.
Kira [still talking to herself]: "This ends right here, right now." *closes eyes* "For Bajor..."
Suddenly, she remembers Starfleet's Temporal Prime Directive. She stops for a moment and thinks about the consequences of tampering with the timeline, but dismisses the thought on account of Bajor not being part of the United Federation of Planets and as such not bound by their rules and directives. Besides, it can't get any worse than 50 years of occupation and millions of dead Bajorans, can it?
Suddenly, an explosion shakes the ground and causes a rockslide. Kira opens her eyes and looks around. Little Bajoran girl, hiding nearby with her mother, starts to scream in fear for her life and runs out, trying to escape the rockslide.
Dukat [points at the girl]: "There's one!"
Several soldiers point their weapons at the girl. Girl's mother runs out, screaming her name. Dukat looks at the woman and aims his weapon at her.
Almost instantly, Prefect Dukat and his soldiers burst into fire. Their screams tear through air like a hot knife through butter. Overwhelmed and carried by anger, Kira annihilates all Cardassians in a same manner, leaving only their technology and their cities on Cardassia Prime and the outer colonies intact. She quickly undoes all damage they caused to Bajor. Girl's mother catches her daughter and picks her up. They both look at Kira with fear in their eyes.
Kira: "It's all right. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you."
Red glow disappears from her eyes.
Girl's mother: "Are... are you a... Prophet?"
Kira [smiles]: "No. Who or what I am is not important. What IS important is the fact the Bajor is free. The Cardassians will never return. Now, go to your home. Return to your husband and live in peace. Live... free."
Kira disappears in a flash of light. She reappears on Deep Space Nine station, over 50 years in the future. She looks around and notices the station has changed. It's darker, armed Bajorans are everywhere and there are no Starfleet personnel anywhere in sight. She walks down the Promenade and stops in front of the Bajoran temple. She looks up and nearly falls on her back at the sight of a Pah-wraith symbol embedded above the entrance. Bajoran Vedek exists the temple and approaches Kira.
Vedek: "Is something wrong, General?"
Kira looks at the Vedek and recognizes his face. It's Vedek Bareil.
Kira [shocked]: "Bareil..."
Bareil: "Yes, General? Can I help you somehow?"
Kira [still shocked, hugs Bareil]: "You're alive!"
Bareil: "Yes... General, I am alive. You seem surprised by that. Are you alright?"
Kira [starts to cry of happiness]: "I am now. I am now."
Bareil [breaks the hug]: "I'm... glad to make you feel better. Would you like to come in for a service? It's about to begin. You haven't attended since the war began. I'm sure the Prophets would be honored. Unless you are too busy, of course."
Kira [confused]: "War? What war? And why is there a Pah-wraith symbol above the entrance to the temple? What's going on here?"
Bareil: "Our war with the United Federation of Planets, of course. General, with all due respect, are you really sure you're alright? You look pale and disoriented. Would you like me to escort you to the medical bay?"
Kira: "No! I... I haven't gotten much sleep for the past few nights. That's all. It must be affecting my memory. I'll be fine."
Bareil: "Well then, don't let me keep you here. I'm sure you have duties to attend to. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to run this place and coordinate our troops throughout the sector."
Kira: "Right. I'll be in my office."
Bareil nods and walks back into the temple. Kira looks at the Pah-wraith symbol again with a confusion in her eyes and quickly walks toward the elevator. A couple of Bajoran soldiers salutes her as she passes by, but she doesn't even notice them. She reaches the elevator and gets up to OPS. She steps out of the elevator. One of the Bajorans there notices her presence.
Bajoran: "Attention! General on deck!"
All Bajorans stop what they were doing, look at Kira and salute her, like this:
Kira, still confused, salutes them back in the same manner and tells them to be at ease. She then proceeds to her office, looks around a bit, sits at the desk, sighs and bows her head in silence. After a few minutes of silence, Kira raises her head.
Kira: "Computer, identify my voice."
Computer [in a deep, male voice]: "Voice identified. General Kira Nerys, Terok Nor Commander."
Kira [surprised]: "Terok Nor? Computer, verify the name of the station."
Computer: "Name verified. Bajoran space station Terok Nor."
Kira: "Oh no... Computer, access the historical database for the past 50 years. Look for all references to the occupation of Bajor and the following events."
Computer: "Stand by." [few seconds later] "References found."
Kira: "Display all results."
Computer beeps. Monitor on Kira's desk activates and shows a large block of text. Kira starts to read and almost faints when she finds a testimony from a woman who spread the word all over Bajor about a mysterious woman with the bright red glow in her eyes who saved her and her daughter from the Cardassians and made the Cardassians burst into flames.
She continues to read and learns that some of her people, disappointed in the Prophets for allowing the Cardassians to start an occupation in the first place, have started to believe that the woman who rid the Bajor of Cardassians was actually a Pah-wraith, one of the true Prophets and protectors of Bajor.
As time went on, the cult of the Pah-wraiths gained more and more influence and gathered more and more members. Eventually, the believers in the Prophets became a minority and the Bajorans have started to worship the Pah-wraiths as the true Prophets. To make things worse, the cult, under the pretext of ensuring the safety of Bajor, used the Cardassian technology left on Bajor, their ships left in orbit and the station itself to establish an agressive presence throughout the sector and defend it from all intruders. They even went all the way to Cardassian space and brought all the ships they could find to the Bajoran sector.
As time went on, the cult of Pah-wraiths became more and more cocky, agressive and hungry for power. With the technology stolen from the Cardassians and other species that violated their space, they started to expand beyond the Bajoran sector and soon gained reputation for being almost as aggressive as the Klingons and cunning as the Romulans, all under the pretext of ensuring the safety of Bajor. Starfleet sent their flagship, USS Enterprise, to negotiate with the Bajorans and convince them the United Federation of Planets poses no threat to them. The ship was destroyed before Picard could say "make it so". Encouraged by the destruction of the Federation's flagship and blinded by their lust for power, the Bajorans have declared an open war to the Federation.
Kira, completely shocked by all this, decides to use her powers to "fix" things by wiping the Pah-wraiths from existence. She leans back and closes her eyes. She opens her eyes again, looks around a bit, looks at the computer screen, sees the same text she just read and realizes that nothing has changed. Confused, she tries again and fails. She tries to flash herself to another part of the station and fails. "Oh no. My powers!" Suddenly, she hears a familiar male voice.
Voice: "Don't you mean my powers?"
Q flashes himself in front of her.
Q: "Ta-da!" =p
Q: "At your service."
Kira: "But... but... how?"
Q: "How what? How can I be here when you took my powers away from me and left me on your precious little station, hmm?"
Kira: "Well... yes. How did you get your powers back?"
Q: "I didn't. I never lost them in the first place."
Kira [confused]: "Huh?"
Q: "Confused? Allow me to explain, my dear. You see, I am Q, but I am not the Q you left on the station and ran away with his powers. I'm Q from this alternate reality you created with your little show. In this reality, you never took my powers away from me."
Kira: "That woman..."
Q: "Yes, that woman you saved from the Cardassians. Your bright red eyes were hard to miss. And wiping an entire race from existence..." *whistles*
Kira: "I was about to fix everything when you took away my powers. Give them back to me and I'll do it."
Q: "You'll do what? Get rid of the Pah-wraiths? Yes, that's right! When something goes wrong, wipe an entire race from existence to fix it! Bravo, Nerys, bravo!" *applauds* :mihailhatesu:
Kira: "Spare me the show, Q. I'm not in the mood for it."
Q: "Oh? And what are you in the mood for, hmm?" :naughty:
Kira [rolls eyes]: "Oh, grow up, Q." :rolleyes:
Q: "Grow up? Me? You wiped an entire race from existence and started a war and you're telling ME to grow up? How presumptuous of you."
Kira: "All right, all right. I get the point."
Q: "Oh? You do? Really? No, I don't think you do. Your attempt to wipe the Pah-wraiths from existence after you saw the consequences of tampering with the timeline clearly shows that you don't."
Kira: "So, what are you going to do about it?"
Q: "Me? You want ME to clean your mess? My dear Nerys, that would be too easy!"
Kira: "Then give me my powers back and I'll take care of it myself."
Q: "Yes, I suppose I could do that, but then you wouldn't learn anything. No, we'll do this the hard way."
Kira: "Oh, I'll make it hard for you..."
Q: "Nerys! Such dirty thoughts."
Kira: "That's not what I..." *sighs* "...eh, never mind. What do you want me to do?"
Q: "You'll see." *snaps fingers*
Kira and Q disappear from the station in flash of light. They reappear on an alien ship. Kira quickly looks around herself.
Kira: "Where are we? I don't recognize this place."
Q: "We are aboard the ship that belongs to the species called the Krenim."
Kira: "Krenim? Never heard of them."
Q: "Of course you didn't. You couldn't. They live in the Delta Quadrant."
Kira: "Delta Quadrant? You mean..."
Q: "Yes, Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore!" =p
Suddenly, door behind them open. Kira, startled, turns around and sees an alien humanoid, one of the crewmen, holding what looks like a data pad in his hand. The crewman walks out and passes through Kira, like a ghost. Kira, shocked, looks at Q.
Q: "Oh, don't worry. You're not dead. Yet. The crew of this ship can't see us. They don't know we're here."
Kira: "I see. Nice trick. So, why did you bring me here?"
Q: "You'll see. For now, follow that guy."
Kira and Q walk after the crewman. After a short walk, they arrive to what appears to be a command center of the ship. Crewman walks toward the older male crewmember sitting in a chair, looking at the planet displayed on the viewscreen. He approaches the guy and hands him the data pad.
Crewman: "Sir, the calculations are complete. We estimate 90% restoration."
Old guy [takes the data pad and looks at it]: "Good. Thank you, Obrist. Prepare for the temporal incursion."
Obrist: "Yes, Captain."
Kira: "Temporal incursion?"
Q: "Sssssshhh! This is the best part." *flashes himself a bowl of popcorn* :Popcorn: "Oh btw, in case you're wondering, the old guy is called Annorax."
Obrist: "Temporal Core is at full power."
Annorax: "Target the focal point. Prepare for the total species erasure."
Obrist: "Ready, Captain."
An energy beam emanates from the ship, hits the planet below and completely eradicates its inhabitants and everything they ever created from history, like they never even existed. The beam creates a wave that spreads from the planet an starts to move through space in all directions.
Obrist: "Temporal incursion in progress."
Annorax: "Probe the continuum. Track the wave as it travels through the system. I want full report."
Obrist: "Yes, Captain."
Annorax: "I'll be in my quarters." *gets off the chair and leaves the room*
Kira stands there, looking at the viewscreen, shocked, with her mouth half open. Q, gorging on popcorn, looks at her.
Q: "Oh, sorry, how rude of me. Would you like some popcorn?"
Kira [still shocked]: "Did they just do what I think they did?"
Q: "Yes, wasn't it fun?"
Kira: "Fun? They just erased an entire race from existence and you think it's fun?"
Q: "Don't you?"
Kira: "No, I don't! I think it's sick!"
Q: "Really? But you don't know why they did it. Maybe they had a good reason to play gods. Perhaps the race they annihilated done something horrible to them, horrible enough to warrant such punishment. Does that sound familiar to you?"
Kira: "Well, when you put it that way... I'm curious, why did they do that? What's the reason? What has the species they erased did to them?"
Q: "They refused to let Krenim ships travel through their space during the Krenim war with the Alsuran Empire. They didn't want to have anything to do with the war, but preferred to stay completely neutral."
Kira: "That's it?"
Q: "Uh-huh. After an extensive calculations, Annorax here concluded that erasing them from history and thus leaving their space free for the Krenim to use during the war will slightly reduce their losses."
Kira: "What? They erased an entire race from history, a race that never did anything to them, just to lose a few less of their ships?"
Q: "Well, not exactly. You see, the Krenim used be a powerful Imperium, but they had a bad habit of starting wars with the neighboring species over a territorial disputes. All those wars, especially the war against the Rilnar, weakened the Krenim Imperium enough to greatly reduce their influence and bring them on the verge of losing the war. Annorax, a brilliant Krenim temporal scientist, created an ultimate weapon - this ship - and used it to erase the Rilnar from history. However, although the subsequent alterations to the timeline restored the Krenim Imperium to its former glory, it also removed a crucial antibody the Rilnar had contributed to the Krenim genome. As a result, fifty million Krenim died in the first year after the restoration. Ever since then, Annorax and his crew have been trying to undo the damage by erasing more races that somehow affected the Krenim in a negative way at some point in history."
Kira: "I see. How long have they been doing this?"
Q: "At this point, about 200 years."
Kira: "200 years! And in all this time, after they erased who knows how many races, they couldn't restore their precious Imperium?"
Q: "They came close to it a few times, but Annorax was never satisfied. He won't settle for anything less than 100% restoration. And before you say anything else, he has a personal reason. You see, every time they erase another race, he checks if their colony on Kyana Prime has been restored as well. Why is that colony so important to him, you may wonder? You are about to find out."
Q snaps his fingers.
Kira [looks around]: "What did you do?"
Q: "I took us half an hour into the future. Watch."
Obrist picks up a data pad and walks out. Q and Kira follow him. He walks down the corridor, stops at the door and pushes a button at the wall to the right.
Annorax [from the other side of the door]: "Come in."
Door opens and Obrist walks in. Q and Kira walk in after him.
Obrist: "Sir, here's the report you requested. Temporal wave has swept through the system as planned. We have achieved 90% restoration, as predicted.
Annorax: "Counter indications?"
Obrist: "None. The Krenim Imperium is strong once again."
Annorax: "The... colony at Kyana Prime? Has it been restored as well?"
Obrist: "No, Sir. Our Imperium doesn't extend that far in this timeline."
Annorax: "Then we have failed once again. Return to your station and begin working on a new set of calculations."
Obrist: "Yes, Sir."
Obrist walks out of the room. Annorax looks at the item on the table. It's a small glass box with a lump of hair in it. He places his hands on the box and sighs sadly.
Kira: "Why is that colony so important to him? Seems to me he's just nitpicking."
Q: "See that piece of hair he's holding? It belonged to his wife. And guess where his wife lived."
Kira: "Kyana Prime?"
Q: "Bingo! His wife was there. Inhabitants of the Kyana Prime were among the fifty million Krenim that died from the lack of the Rilnar antibody. His wife included. Love can be a powerful motivation, especially when you have all the time in the universe at the palm of your hand. Now do you understand?"
Kira: "Yes, I think I do. My God, what have I done? I allowed my emotions to get the best of me and the result was catastrophic. I'm no better than Annorax. I hope the Prophets will forgive me."
Q: "Oh, don't sell yourself so short. You just did more than Annorax ever did - you realized your mistake, something Annorax never did and never will. You have learned how tampering with the timeline can have unforeseen consequences, no matter how good the intentions are."
Kira: "Yes, you're right. My God, you're right. Even if I got rid of the Pah-wraiths, who knows what the consequences would be, how would it affect the timeline."
Q: "Yes, that's it! Bravo, Nerys! I'm so proud of you."
Kira: "Thanks... I guess."
Q: "Ready to go home?"
Kira: "Yes, but what about these people? What about Annorax? Hasn't he caused enough damage in these 200 years? Shouldn't you do something to stop him?"
Q: "I could, but there's no need. The almighty Starfleet will take care of him, exactly one year from now."
Q: "Oops! I guess I shouldn't have tell you that. Silly me. Promise not to tell anyone?"
Kira: "Yeah, sure, I won't tell anyone. Not that anyone would believe me anyway."
Q snaps his fingers and flashes them both away. They reappear on Bajor, just a minute before Kira originally got there and altered the timeline.
Kira [looks around]: "We're on Bajor."
Q: "I didn't know Captain Obvious is your middle name."
Kira: "Funny. Where, or should I say, when exactly are we?"
Q: "Aha! Smart question. Look over there." *points at the distance*
Kira looks at direction Q points to and sees a battalion of Cardassian soldiers heading their way.
Kira: "Dukat! But, where am I, or should I say my past counterpart?"
Q: "You're about to appear. Wait for it..."
Few seconds later, Kira's counterpart from the past appears in front of them, facing away from them. Q quickly snaps his fingers and flashes all three of them away. They all appear in some kind of a void, a bright place where nothing else seems to exist. Kira and her past counterpart look at each other.
Past Kira: "What the... who are you? Where are we? What is this place?"
Kira: "I... I am you and you are me. Doesn't make much sense when I put it like that, huh?"
Q: "Allow me, my dear."
Past Kira: "Q! How... what are you doing here? Where are we?"
Q: "We are in the neutral zone. No, not the Romulan neutral zone. The Q neutral zone. This is the safest place in the whole universe. No harm can come to you here. You can't even hurt yourself. It exists outside the conventional timeline and as such is impervious to temporal paradoxes."
Past Kira: "But how did you bring us here? I have your powers."
Q: "It's a long and complicated story. It will all become clear to you when I perform the merging."
Both Kira's at the same time: "Merging?"
Q: "Yes, I will use my powers to merge the two of you together. You will literally become the single person with a single mind. After all, this universe isn't big enough for two of my favorite terrorists."
Past Kira: "Whatever. I'm out of here. I have lives to save."
Past Kira tries to flash herself back to Bajor, but fails.
Q: "Oh, didn't I tell you? I took away your powers. How naughty of me." =p
Past Kira sighs. Q snaps his fingers on both hands. Both Kira's disappear in a flash of light and only one reappears.
Q: "There. The merging is complete. Was it as good for you as it was good for me?" :naughty:
Kira: "You will never grow up, won't you?"
Q: "Hmm... I'll think about it. Or not." =p
Kira: "So, what now?"
Q: "Now we're going home."
Q snaps his fingers and flashes them both to Deep Space Nine station.
Q: "Home sweet home. Well, for you anyway."
Kira [looks around]: "Is everything as it should be? Is the timeline restored?"
Q: "Indeed it is, my dear. See? Everything is in order. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to have a little chat with myself." *flashes away*
At the same time, mortal Q, sitting at the Replimat with Julian, also flashes away, just as he was about to take a sip of Raktajino. He and other Q appear in the void.
Mortal Q: "Q!"
Q: "Yes, me. Who did you expect? Zefram Cochrane?"
Mortal Q: "Why did you bring me here? What is so important that you used the void?"
Q: "You mean aside the fact you foolishly lost your powers?"
Mortal Q: "Oh, that. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I just wanted to make some friends."
Q: "But why? Why do you want to make friends with those primates? What can they offer you the Continuum can't?"
Mortal Q: "I can't really explain it to you. They care for each other in a way no Q can seem to comprehend. I'm just starting to grasp it myself. It's very difficult to explain."
Q: "Oh, just give me your hand."
Mortal Q extends his arm toward the other Q. They take each other's hands (in a totally non gay manner =p) and remain still for a couple of seconds, engaged in what seems to be some Q version of the Vulcan mind meld, a process in which the Q's can share memories with each other.
Q: "I see. Yes, I see what you mean." *lets go of his hand* "Well, if that's what you want, I won't stop you."
Formerly mortal Q: "My my, what has our little terrorist friend done. You were so kind to repair the damage."
Q: "I know. And yet, I somehow feel unappreciated."
Formerly mortal Q: "Maybe you should make some mortal friends."
Q: "No thanks! I'm fine as I am. Oh, and I gave you your powers back." *flashes away*
Formerly mortal Q snaps his fingers and flashes himself back to Deep Space Nine, straight to his seat at the Replimat.