Your Captain Might Be a Redneck if... -1 reply

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Bist du ein Trekkie?

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9th August 2004

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#1 16 years ago

Your captain might be a redneck if... • Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month. • He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles. • You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob." • He refers to any intelligent alien race as "critters." • He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns." • He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil. • He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section. • He says "Get your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies." • He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen. • He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle. • He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it. • He says "Yea Haw! Let's get this puppy movin!!!" instead of "Engage." • He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser. • He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba." • He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster." • He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens. • He paints the starship John Deere green with racing stripes. • He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special." • He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp." • His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale. • He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen". • His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls. • He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge. • His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' EXO ,Bubba, after a meal of beans and weenies. • He sets phaser to "Cajun." • He has ordered the Chief Engineer to dig out the jumper cables. • The warp reactor is coated in duct tape, Bondo, and Super-Glu. • He orders the Sickbay to carry castor oil and turpentine. • He lights his cigarettes with his phaser. • He keeps livestock in the cargo bay. • He refers to the Kobiyashi Maru test as "the best target practice I ever had." • He orders the ship into time warp so he can have another go at the "Tuesday Night All-You-Can-Eat Ribs" buffet. • The ship, all the shuttlecraft, and the ship's mascot are all named after his favorite movie actresses. (from )

Dreadnought[DK] Advanced Member

Grumpy Admin

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7th March 2003

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#2 16 years ago

ahhh, a true classic :)


I take what n0e says way too seriously

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28th November 2004

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#3 16 years ago
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special."



I'm too cool to Post

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15th October 2003

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#4 16 years ago