The Antihero: A Case for why Luke is a Pansy -1 reply

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Inyri Forge VIP Member

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15th March 2005

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#1 12 years ago

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Oh my God! Luke destroyed the death star, defeated the Sith, and saved the galaxy! And you call yourself a Star Wars fan..." But here's the question: what did he really do? Sure he blew up the Death Star, but only because Han saved his rookie little butt. Had Han not been there he would've been scrap. Heck, with no TIEs behind him even Porkins could have made that shot. Blindfolded.

So let's take a look at this chronologically.

A New Hope - Some Notable Events

-Luke gets knocked unconscious by Tuskens -Luke's aunt and uncle are killed, no thanks to him -Luke starts a barfight -Luke nearly drowns in the garbage pit -Luke is nearly fried in the Death Star trench and outside the trench, only to be saved by Biggs and Han

Oh yes, he did pop the Death Star as I mentioned before. So that's minus 6 if you count both near-vapes at the Death Star, and plus 1 for the whole easy-shot Death Star thing. That brings us to a net total of -5 points for Luke. Now, one to the next movie.

The Empire Strikes Back -Luke nearly gets mauled to death by a Wampa -Luke does destroy the AT-AT, but his poor flying gets Dack Ralter killed -Luke goes to Yavin and pisses off Yoda several times -Luke fails to raise the X-wing out of the muck -Luke fails to levitate rocks (which are much smaller than X-wings, btw) and throws Yoda to the ground - naughty naughty -Luke kills himself in the dark-side cave -Luke's poor judgement sends him to a trap at Bespin -Luke's hand is sliced off on Bespin -Luke hangs like a weenie from a... whatever that was, until he was rescued

Let's count up these points. Minus 8. Plus one for the AT-AT, but minus one for killing his partner. That brings us to -8 + -5: -13. I'll forgot the minus 10 for making out with his sister.

Return of the Jedi -Luke tries to be "clever" by rescuing Han Solo from Jabba's palace, but fails miserably. He serves no purpose here: Leia kills Jabba, Han saves Lando (blind, might I add), and also while blind Han "kills" Boba Fett. All Luke manages to do is be thrown to the rancor. For that kind of stupidity I don't know that he deserves a point for killing it. Any sensible Jedi would have totally known that trap door was there. -Luke is unable to rescue himself and his comrades from the Ewoks. Ewoks for Pete's sake. He had to let Threepio of all people save them. Some Jedi. -Luke was captured. This was on purpose, so no negative points here. -Luke briefly fell to the dark side in order to defeat his father. Negative two points, because that's a big no-no. -Luke did not defeat the Emperor. -Luke flew the shuttle away from the Death Star without getting himself killed. Shall we give him a pity point?

Total points from RoJ: -7, plus our 1 pity point for flying the shuttle. So that's -6, plus our -13... -19 points, folks. So tell me: how much of a hero is Luke?

It seriously sounds to me like Han Solo should be the real hero of this story. He escaped from the first Death Star, he single-handedly allowed it to be destroyed, he neutralized Boba Fett and saved Lando while blind, and he destroyed the shield generator. Han Solo is a real hero, folks, and he's a total jerk most of the time!

So in conclusion, I think the authors of the Expanded Universe did right by Luke when they portrayed him as a pacifist pansy. Given his role (or lack thereof) in the films, that sounds just about right.




Zach

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5th July 2005

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#2 12 years ago

Don't forget that Luke had a mullet in Episode 4! -20 points!




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

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#3 12 years ago

did i ever tell you that i am madly in love with you? :lookaround:....ahem........moving onward

I do agree that Han is the better hero, and you bring up some good points, but also consider that he *might* have known the outcome of certain things and let certain things happen.......im not saying he is the all knowing lord of the force


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Inyri Forge VIP Member

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#4 12 years ago

He's not the all knowing lord of the Force. He's an untrained padawan - even in RoJ he's not a Jedi Master or anything. Most Jedi Masters don't even have full control of that particular technique.

If he knew the outcome of everything he wouldn't have gotten so mad when Vader made the crack about his sister ;)

Nah, Luke's just a pansy. -39 now with the mullet thing ;)




blacklightning

AKA UltimateTrekkie_Borgified

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12th November 2005

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#5 12 years ago
Inyri ForgeI'll forgot the minus 10 for making out with his sister.

Oh come on! How was he supposed to know? Lol I don't care. You're right. As per usual. Do you ever get tired of being right?




Nusentinsaino

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8th December 2003

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#6 12 years ago

Inyri, you did a wonderful job creating a different reality of Luke. :)




jedikiller32

SWBFFiles Staff

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#7 12 years ago

^ Indeed. I never really liked Luke. Actually, to be honest with you, I didn't really like any of them. But I liked Luke the least. He seems a bit... odd.




MoneyJo

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#8 12 years ago

Those are just a few of his bad pionts. He was just getting started. He did let some of those things happen though. And I like Han a lot. They have both good and bad things about them. And if you're saying "this couldn't be done without this guy doing this", you could come up with so many of those. I mean, none of the stuff on the movies wouldn't have happened without the droids, for one. Anyway, Luke is awesome, but you have listed some of his worst points pretty well.




Inyri Forge VIP Member

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#9 12 years ago

Got any valid points for why Luke is "awesome"? I'd be interested to hear what you could possibly scrounge up to support that point.




Nusentinsaino

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#10 12 years ago

Personally, I think Luke is so awesome for wearing those tight pants and mullet.