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Biggus Dickus VIP Member

I would die without my life.

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19th January 2004

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#1 14 years ago

ADAPTATION?

A long time ago, just before the winter, a logger cuts some trees for his reserves.

He cuts while hours and makes a good bunch of wood. The logger look his work, turn back, and see an old indian who seemed to look at him since a long time.

The old indian look at the wood, look at the logger and say : - "Hug! The winter will be hard, this year!" The logger thinks: - "Hmmm...This indian looks very old...He must have lived in this country since a very long time! And old indians are always wise! So if the winter will be hard, I have to cut some more"

And then the logger cuts an other big bunch of wood. he is exhausted. But happy because now it has enough wood for the 2 next winter!

The indian was still here. Looking at the wood. Then he look at the logger and say: - "Hug! The winter will be very hard, this year!"

The logger is really amazed. But he still believe this indian and cuts, and cuts again during hours and hours. He has now a hudge bunch of wood. he's more exhausted than ever. Then he turn back again and, of course, the indian is still here.

The indian look at the wood, look at the logger, and say: - "Hug! The winter will be extremely hard, this year!" The logger: - "Will you tell me why you think this winter will be so hard?" The indian - [I]"We have an old Indian proverb: When logger cut much wood, very hard winter."

Adaptation?




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=WW=, WolfTactics

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#2 14 years ago

good one BD




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#3 14 years ago

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head without even looking and fired at the ceiling. Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss!?" he yelled. No one answered.

"Alright, I'm gonna have anotha beer, and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time I finnish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! As he swung up into the saddle and started to ride out of town, the bartender ran out of the saloon and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."




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#4 14 years ago

ok last one....

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do... Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver for a little while and see if you can create enough of a breeze to give him a little relief!" Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" The cowboy looks him in the eye and says... "Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin'."




Ignacio

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7th October 2003

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#5 14 years ago

The doors to the saloon swing open and in limps a dog with one of his feet bandaged up. The normal din of the saloon dies away as every eye is turned towards the dog. The dogs looks from side to side, and then in a clear voice says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!" attachment.php?attachmentid=16303 [EDITEDBY="Queegster"] Added image...[/EDITEDBY]




Hfx-Rebel VIP Member

AzH owns my ass

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#6 14 years ago

Groan




BITE_ME!!

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#7 14 years ago
IgnacioThe doors to the saloon swing open and in limps a dog with one of his feet bandaged up. The normal din of the saloon dies away as every eye is turned towards the dog. The dogs looks from side to side, and then in a clear voice says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

Just got it Iggy....took a few times reading to figure it out.....shoot me now quick!!




Biggus Dickus VIP Member

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#8 14 years ago

Once married, a cow-boy turns over to his ranch with his wife sitting behind him on the horse. This overload tires our poor horse which stumbles and fall.

The cow-boy raises his wife, brushes the dust of her dress, brushes the dust of his trousers, looks at the horse in the eyes and says to him: "one".

They go up with horse and set out again. Our horse, tired, falls second once. The cow-boy raises his wife, brushes the dust of her dress, brushes the dust of his trousers, looks at the horse in the eyes and says to him: "two".

They go up with horse and set out again. Third once, the horse stumbles and fall. The cow-boy raises his wife, brushes the dust of her dress, brushes the dust of his trousers, looks at the horse in the eyes and says to him: "three"

Then he takes his gun and shot the horse. The wife :"Are you mad? How will we get home, now?"

The cow-boy looks at his wife in the eyes and says: "one".




Hfx-Rebel VIP Member

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#9 14 years ago

hahaha!! good one BD the lone ranger and tonto were ridin through the woods, when they decided to stop and make camp. after having a couple cups of coffee, the lone ranger heads off to a bush to relieve himself. hearing a blood curdling scream, tonto runs to his friend's side, who is laying on the ground in the fetal position, "what is it kemosabe?" he asks "i was bit by a snake tonto" he gasps "on the head of my teepee!" "what should i do kemosabe?" "quick!" the lone ranger replies, clutching his jewels "ride into town and fetch a doctor!" with that, tonto jumps on his horse, and after several hours of hard riding, enters the town. riding down main street, he spots the doctors sign. bursting through the door, he exclaims "doc, you come fast, lone ranger was bit by snake." "i can't go anywheres," replied the doc "i'm to busy here in town. but i can give you instructions on what to do." "ok" came tonto's reply "what i have to do to safe life of lone ranger?" "its simple" said the doc "you must suck the poison out of the wound." with that, tonto jumps back on his horse, and rides like the wind back to his fallen comrade. when he reaches the camp, the lone ranger, still in pain and clutching his manhood, looks up meekly to his indian sidekick "what-what did the doctor say, my friend" tonto, looking from his partners eyes, to his wound, and recalling the doctors instructions, took a deep breath, and with saddened eyes, answered... "him say---you gonna die!"




Ignacio

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#10 14 years ago

The receptionist for the country doctor sticks her head into the doctor's private office and says: "Doctor, there is a cowboy in the waiting room, and he says he is invisible." The doctor looks up and says: "Tell him I can't see him."