Being a 'gentleman' 55 replies

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NiteStryker

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#1 9 years ago

Why is a guy expected to act according to the classifications of a 'gentlemen'?

Such things as...

Walking on the streetside of a curb when with a woman Holding doors open Pulling out chairs Paying for dinner and a movie on a date

And, actually this picture helped me solidify my question.. (ignore the bike and pretend the tent was smaller)

boyfriend-fail-bike.jpg

If the bike was not there and it was a tent large enough for one person, one would call that a boyfriend fail.

Why is that a boyfriend fail? Why should he be expected to sleep outside?

Why do women get this prefferential treatment? A guy is expected to suffer more of the time in a less than pleasurable situation because....why?

You see the crap all the time. A girl was stupid enough to not bring a jacket as a couple goes to the beach at night. So the guy, being the intelligent one, has to compensate for her stupidity and then suffer for it as the girl is given his jacket. Why?




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#2 9 years ago

Because its culture? I agree that if Women want to be treated equally, they should stop acting so weak, but as we're all sure of probably, women's minds are a bit less violent and cold, stuff like video games usually doesn't interest them.




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#3 9 years ago

First, the picture is a fail because he has his bike sitting next to him. Clearly they both could have slept inside the tent.

I don't know about other people but I generally don't give women any kind of preferential treatment, except maybe when it comes to helping move heavy things, or other muscle related jobs. (women are usually weaker then men, so it makes sense.) I'll hold the door open for anyone, and help anyone with their groceries, and no one seems to care who walks where anymore. Even paying for dinner I've been on both sides. I've bought dinner for women, and have had women treat me to dinner.

So from what I've experienced "gentlemanly" behavior isn't nearly as important anymore, to either men or women. Sure, women what you to treat them nicely, such as holding the door open for them, but you should do that sort of thing for anyone who needs it anyways.

As for the origin of the gentleman, it's rather obvious. In upper class society there was a rather large distinction between genders. Men had certain jobs, women had certain jobs. Women were also considered more vulnerable and weaker (both in a physical and psychological sense) so men felt the need to protect them. This has greatly changed in many parts of the Western world, which is why my experiences don't line up with tradition. Not to mentino there is a stigma to the upper class now, so the middle class doesn't try to emulate them as much anymore, and historically women were far more equal in the lower and middle classes. There was no such thing as a gentleman peasant, because women were expected to do as much work as the men.




Gevok

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#4 9 years ago

Well if boys treated girls like crap, the girls would run away and the guy would then have no one. I treat the girl I like at school as if she was my little princess, [but she's not. She's more emo if anything.] and if I didn't she'd probably go suicidal because at the moment the world isn't treating her nicely.-- And it's just nice. Some boys it comes natural to be sweet to girls; like me. Other boys like to be more fun than sweet, and for some girls that their preference.

Either way, it's all about what you personally prefer.




Pethegreat VIP Member

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#5 9 years ago
Well if boys treated girls like crap, the girls would run away and the guy would then have no one.

It is the other way around. If a guy treats a girl like crap, the girl loves the guy back. If they guy treats the girl well then she will run away to one of the jerks.

Being a gentleman is overrated. To many girls it makes it look like you are trying too hard to get their attention. Guys who act like gentlemen also tend to get walked on by girls and taken for all they are worth.

The jerks don't try too hard, and they don't get walked on by anyone. They have this thing called confidence that most of the gentlemen types lack. Girls love a guy who is confident. That is why they go for the jerk and not the "nice guy".

If I was the guy in the "fail picture" I would be sleeping with my bike since I don't need to loose $1000 in equipment. I would have ditched the girl about 30 miles back though. She was probably too slow for my tastes.




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#6 9 years ago

Pethegreat;4982724It is the other way around. If a guy treats a girl like crap, the girl loves the guy back. If they guy treats the girl well then she will run away to one of the jerks.

Being a gentleman is overrated. To many girls it makes it look like you are trying too hard to get their attention. Guys who act like gentlemen also tend to get walked on by girls and taken for all they are worth.

The jerks don't try too hard, and they don't get walked on by anyone. They have this thing called confidence that most of the gentlemen types lack. Girls love a guy who is confident. That is why they go for the jerk and not the "nice guy".

If I was the guy in the "fail picture" I would be sleeping with my bike since I don't need to loose $1000 in equipment. I would have ditched the girl about 30 miles back though. She was probably too slow for my tastes.

I suppose if the "girls" we are talking about are teenage brats, then yes they might like the jerk. Women, however, don't.




Pethegreat VIP Member

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#7 9 years ago

My information is going off college aged women who are in college. They could care less about the guy with the 4.0 and tons of well paying job offers. They want the fun guy who is confident, even if he treats girls like crap. Most women don't settle down till they are close to 30 years old. By then the guy with 4.0 now has money and found a smart girl who saw that the guy would provide for her.




NiteStryker

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#8 9 years ago

Afterburner;4982624First, the picture is a fail because he has his bike sitting next to him. Clearly they both could have slept inside the tent. [/QUOTE] No shit. Thats why I said "IGNORE THE BIKE". :rolleyes:

Afterburner;4982624 So from what I've experienced "gentlemanly" behavior isn't nearly as important anymore, to either men or women. Sure, women what you to treat them nicely, such as holding the door open for them, but you should do that sort of thing for anyone who needs it anyways. [/QUOTE] For maybe a disabled person or an elderly person, I would. But I dont hold a door for a female who is physically capable of doing so herself.

Afterburner;4982624 As for the origin of the gentleman, it's rather obvious. In upper class society there was a rather large distinction between genders. Men had certain jobs, women had certain jobs. Women were also considered more vulnerable and weaker (both in a physical and psychological sense) so men felt the need to protect them. This has greatly changed in many parts of the Western world, which is why my experiences don't line up with tradition. Not to mentino there is a stigma to the upper class now, so the middle class doesn't try to emulate them as much anymore, and historically women were far more equal in the lower and middle classes. There was no such thing as a gentleman peasant, because women were expected to do as much work as the men.[/QUOTE] Good reason.

[QUOTE=Gevok;4982671]Well if boys treated girls like crap, the girls would run away and the guy would then have no one.

Thats a damn lie. You could give a woman the moon and she would go for the first jerk that made eye contact with her who is in prison for killing his last 3 wives.

[QUOTE=Pethegreat;4982724]It is the other way around. If a guy treats a girl like crap, the girl loves the guy back. If they guy treats the girl well then she will run away to one of the jerks.

Exactly.

[QUOTE=Afterburner;4982727]I suppose if the "girls" we are talking about are teenage brats, then yes they might like the jerk. Women, however, don't.

I would disagree.




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#9 9 years ago
NiteStryker;4982738No shit. Thats why I said "IGNORE THE BIKE". :rolleyes:

You can't say ignore the bike and then say the picture shouldn't be considered a fail, because that is why it is a fail int he first place. The bike makes the picture into a fail.

For maybe a disabled person or an elderly person, I would. But I dont hold a door for a female who is physically capable of doing so herself.

I guess I'm just weird then. If someone is coming up behind me, or coming through the door in front of me, I hold the door for them, regardless of age or gender.

I would disagree.

I guess we've just had different experiences with women. I wouldn't suggest being all clingy and trying to do everything for her. There is a difference between being nice and being a "nice guy."




NiteStryker

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#10 9 years ago

Afterburner;4982752You can't say ignore the bike and then say the picture shouldn't be considered a fail, because that is why it is a fail int he first place. The bike makes the picture into a fail. [/QUOTE] I was using the picture as a reference, by saying "ignore the bike", alot of people would consder a boyfriend sleeping in the tent bad, if the girlfriend was sleeping outside and I was asking why that would be.

Afterburner;4982752 I guess I'm just weird then. If someone is coming up behind me, or coming through the door in front of me, I hold the door for them, regardless of age or gender.
If they are a stride behind me, yea, but if they are like 15 feet away then no. [QUOTE=Afterburner;4982752] I guess we've just had different experiences with women. I wouldn't suggest being all clingy and trying to do everything for her. There is a difference between being nice and being a "nice guy."

I could see that.