Divorce 127 replies

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Pethegreat VIP Member

Lord of the Peach

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19th April 2004

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#51 13 years ago
Age and life experience. Both of which you lack.

They don't matter on an intenet fourm. For all I know, you can be a 13 year old who has a older borther who you talk to alot. You can't base someone's arguments on age or expience. Their argument is what they think is best, and you don't need to be old or have expience to make a good argument.

When in marriage guys are being pushed out of their God given roles as the leaders of the house. The wives want to be in charge....they want to support the family, make the money, have the job....ext... and guys are being pushed into a "Mr. mom" position and trying to find their feminine side (which is stupid!)

What is wrong with the girl wanting to run some things? She may do a job of running the house better than a man, and a man can do a better job of rasing kids than a girl.

I think the reason diviorce rates are so high is becuase people can't work out problems. I think people should make every attempt to remedy the issues before divorcing. My parents almost got divorced about a year ago. They went to a marriage councler and they have not fought for several months.




Fez Boy

L-L-Look at you, ha-cker

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9th October 2005

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#52 13 years ago
A Girl without a clue inMarriage is the most beautiful thing in the world..the world is just taken it to a whole new level Marriage represents Christ love for the church, that he died, because he loved us so much! Marriage is the same way. Divorce rates have shot through the roof and its no big deal now a days:( Why I think divorce rates have gone up is - People are dating around till they find what the [think] they want - When in marriage guys are being pushed out of their God given roles as the leaders of the house. The wives want to be in charge....they want to support the family, make the money, have the job....ext... and guys are being pushed into a "Mr. mom" position and trying to find their feminine side (which is stupid!) - Hollywood is helping Americans become tolerant to a hit and run marriage, making it no big, marry till your not happy any more then bail out......:'( But people are not being raised to be ready for marriage....to them its dating with a ring...=P One day I plan to get married.....for life My dad is a pastor and has to do alot of divorce classes......out of a room of 30 he asked how many people (who all wanted or just had a divorce) had their parents blessing on their marriage....not one single person raised their hand!! hhmmm....... And yes, given I'm a fairytale princess at heart....But I think if the "Prince Charmings" would slay the dragon for their princess before he wins her hand, he would not want to spilt with her so quickly later on!

Never before have a name and a post gone together quite so well.




dysfunctional

I work too much

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25th August 2003

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#53 13 years ago

I appreciate everyone's input. The last week has been pretty rough on me, I've gotten a total of sixteen hours sleep in seven days and I'm feeling a little run down right now (so excuse any typos or rambling).

I have read through all of the replies on this thread and I thank everyone for their thoughts. From all of the replies it looks to me as though some people think that I want this; let me clarify that I do not want divorce. I see it as a form of running away from a problem when you don't want to deal with it. While some marriages just can not work and require divorce, I believe mine was not one of them. I wanted to try anything at all to fix it, unfortunately she didn't see it the same way - she made up her mind and that was it.

I, however, disagree with the person that said that the idea of a man being pushed away from the "traditional" male role and having the woman work, etc, is stupid. I think it's very uplifting that a woman would want to work, to help support the family that they have started. A marriage can not be kept together by one person so it would make sense to me that both work for some period of time.

As I said before, the past week has been rough. Today marks one week since she left and I don't feel any better at all. I've been packing her things up and letting her come get them bit by bit. Closed our bank account and started a new one of my own. Still car shopping, though. This strange period of my life is going to be so hard but I know eventually the pain will dull... eventually.

Once again - I appreciate all replies to this post. Thank you.




Guns4Hire

I'm too cool to Post

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22nd September 2002

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#54 13 years ago

Pethegreat You can't base someone's arguments on age or expience. Their argument is what they think is best, and you don't need to be old or have expience to make a good argument.

You are right, on certain subjects, but not this one ;)

Never before have a name and a post gone together quite so well.

That has to be the best reply to her post. I can't sum that up any better. :beer: :lol:




A Girl without a clue in

Clueless :)

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6th April 2006

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#55 13 years ago

Well, lets put it in this light, would you prefer a wife that is submissive to your commands or a wife that could careless what you want, after all she has women’s rights….not making the wife the doormat of the house, the bible says if you are not just as loving and respectful of your wife your prayers are meaningless till you fix the strife between you. Point is this, divorce hurts! No, I have never been through it, nor will I ever…and yes even in my mid teens I know I will not. I am being raised in a very strong and conservative family, I will go through courtship, and I will marry who the Lord has for me to marry. And in marrying who the Lord has chosen for me, someone with my same values and beliefs, our marriage will be Forever. You all say I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I have been through the pain of others. Tonight, right now, my dad is counseling a very young couple trying to do what the Lord wants, but their marriage is struggling, he wants her to work and she wants to stay home and raise a family. He make plenty of money and they do not need two incomes, but he still feels she should be in the work place. Hey, and if you all agree that divorce hurts deeply, then why not re- arrange your thinking a little bit? No one has to take anyone’s point of view!! But the way I see it, my parents have been married 17 years, my grandparents 50. And how I see it, if believing the way they do, makes them the way they are….maybe it is worth looking into?…..And if you do not agree with me, how do you feel the best way to make marriage stronger and bring divorce rates down is?? The worlds ideas are not working! You say I have no idea about what I’m talking about….is what I’m saying wrong? Honestly, and in all respect, I think I know what I’m talking about. I am in my bible daily, searching for the answers the Lord knew we would need. Let me lay this out flat also, if you are not a believer you are probably going to careless what I say, in fact what I say does not even apply to you, because until you accept Christ as your Lord and savior, you flesh only allows you to want to do good to a point. When you accept Christ, old things are passed away, and you are a completely new person through him. Yes, Christians get divorces too, but are churches instructing them not to? Churches have become even more shallow over the past ten years. People go to church to feel good about themselves, not to be convicted. The pastor does not want to offend anyone! (Whole other subject in its self!) But they feel the pain too! And if really no one like divorce, then why should we not try to find the cause of the increase in divorces and try to undo what Satan is trying to do. The devil knows the power of a strong family in Christ……don’t want to sound preachy (may be to late, but this is one area I am really convicted in) This guy has gone through a lot, and please listen sir, I do not in anyway wish to make you or anyone who has gone through a divorce feel worse! I feel for you, I really do. So don’t you think we should try our best to prevent any more divorces? Give a internet forum is not going to do much…..but you take what you can get. If you disagree with what I say, please tell me on what and why. Though what you say will most likely never change my opinion of marriage. (unless you are a very strong Christian with a solid back ground and core beliefs and truly seeking the Lords will) All for the best, Princess Bubblegum:) P.S. And my full name is A girl without a clue in gaming! And that is because gaming is a side thing to me next to my Christian walk, school, public speaking, sailing, windsurfing, kayaking, computers (building not gaming), and learning to be a keeper of the home……so I am not in anyway clueless, and wasn’t that kind of backboneless? You knocked my opinions and beliefs, but that’s all you did! Why do you think I’m wrong??




HairySheep

I train sheep to cage fight!!

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8th January 2006

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#56 13 years ago

im sorry man, i know its rough

well i think i was 9 (now 16) when my parents divorced after 22 years of marrage, it was a mutual thing, both of them calmy talked it over. i remember the night it happened. my mom and dad called us into the kitchen and told us that they had been talking long and hard and decided that they werent meant to be with eachother, we all cried for a while, then my sister left and drove to her friends house cring, i could not think of anything to do or say because i knew there was nothing i could do about it so i went in my room and cried.

do have housing arrangments set up yet? unless it puts you at a disadvantage, you should tell your parents you want to spend equal time with them, i switch houses every other week between my mom and dad, but my mom and dad still talk to each other and i dont know how it is with yours, so that might be difficult, dont let your parents compete over you! that leads to more problems between them, but it is in no way your fault what so ever, most parents divorce due to arrguments over money




Guns4Hire

I'm too cool to Post

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22nd September 2002

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#57 13 years ago
A Girl without a clue inWell, lets put it in this light, would you prefer a wife that is submissive to your commands or a wife that could careless what you want, after all she has women’s rights….not making the wife the doormat of the house, the bible says if you are not just as loving and respectful of your wife your prayers are meaningless till you fix the strife between you. Point is this, divorce hurts! No, I have never been through it, nor will I ever…and yes even in my mid teens I know I will not. I am being raised in a very strong and conservative family, I will go through courtship, and I will marry who the Lord has for me to marry. And in marrying who the Lord has chosen for me, someone with my same values and beliefs, our marriage will be Forever. You all say I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I have been through the pain of others. Tonight, right now, my dad is counseling a very young couple trying to do what the Lord wants, but their marriage is struggling, he wants her to work and she wants to stay home and raise a family. He make plenty of money and they do not need two incomes, but he still feels she should be in the work place. Hey, and if you all agree that divorce hurts deeply, then why not re- arrange your thinking a little bit? No one has to take anyone’s point of view!! But the way I see it, my parents have been married 17 years, my grandparents 50. And how I see it, if believing the way they do, makes them the way they are….maybe it is worth looking into?…..And if you do not agree with me, how do you feel the best way to make marriage stronger and bring divorce rates down is?? The worlds ideas are not working! You say I have no idea about what I’m talking about….is what I’m saying wrong? Honestly, and in all respect, I think I know what I’m talking about. I am in my bible daily, searching for the answers the Lord knew we would need. Let me lay this out flat also, if you are not a believer you are probably going to careless what I say, in fact what I say does not even apply to you, because until you accept Christ as your Lord and savior, you flesh only allows you to want to do good to a point. When you accept Christ, old things are passed away, and you are a completely new person through him. Yes, Christians get divorces too, but are churches instructing them not to? Churches have become even more shallow over the past ten years. People go to church to feel good about themselves, not to be convicted. The pastor does not want to offend anyone! (Whole other subject in its self!) But they feel the pain too! And if really no one like divorce, then why should we not try to find the cause of the increase in divorces and try to undo what Satan is trying to do. The devil knows the power of a strong family in Christ……don’t want to sound preachy (may be to late, but this is one area I am really convicted in) This guy has gone through a lot, and please listen sir, I do not in anyway wish to make you or anyone who has gone through a divorce feel worse! I feel for you, I really do. So don’t you think we should try our best to prevent any more divorces? Give a internet forum is not going to do much…..but you take what you can get. If you disagree with what I say, please tell me on what and why. Though what you say will most likely never change my opinion of marriage. (unless you are a very strong Christian with a solid back ground and core beliefs and truly seeking the Lords will) All for the best, Princess Bubblegum:) P.S. And my full name is A girl without a clue in gaming! And that is because gaming is a side thing to me next to my Christian walk, school, public speaking, sailing, windsurfing, kayaking, computers (building not gaming), and learning to be a keeper of the home……so I am not in anyway clueless, and wasn’t that kind of backboneless? You knocked my opinions and beliefs, but that’s all you did! Why do you think I’m wrong??

and just when I though she couldn't get more annoying... Paragraphs and readable fonts are your friend. I do not wish to read your religious babble as it has nothing to do with the reality of this subject.




dysfunctional

I work too much

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25th August 2003

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#58 13 years ago

HairySheepim sorry man, i know its rough

well i think i was 9 (now 16) when my parents divorced after 22 years of marrage, it was a mutual thing, both of them calmy talked it over. i remember the night it happened. my mom and dad called us into the kitchen and told us that they had been talking long and hard and decided that they werent meant to be with eachother, we all cried for a while, then my sister left and drove to her friends house cring, i could not think of anything to do or say because i knew there was nothing i could do about it so i went in my room and cried.

do have housing arrangments set up yet? unless it puts you at a disadvantage, you should tell your parents you want to spend equal time with them, i switch houses every other week between my mom and dad, but my mom and dad still talk to each other and i dont know how it is with yours, so that might be difficult, dont let your parents compete over you! that leads to more problems between them, but it is in no way your fault what so ever, most parents divorce due to arrguments over money[/quote]

I have housing arragements set up, yes. I am staying at the home we've been at for the past three years. She is currently staying with her parents.

My mom is still with my step-father, for which I am grateful. She knows how divorce is and she knows that it is very painful.

Money was not our problem, it was a lack of me making her happy.

[quote=ßeef Flaps]and just when I though she couldn't get more annoying... Paragraphs and readable fonts are your friend. I do not wish to read your religious babble as it has nothing to do with the reality of this subject.

Ah Beef, the more of your posts I read the more I enjoy what you have to say.

"People go to church to feel good about themselves, not to be convicted."

It seems to me that most people these days go to church to feel good about themselves. From my experiences going to church with my (ex)wife it seems that, unfortunately, that's how it is.

I do not wish to say that your beliefs are wrong, however I cannot agree with them. As a non-Christian (more or less an athiest) I cannot see how this point of view is relevant to what I have posted thus far. My concern is seeing how people deal / have dealt with divorce. Hearing that God and Jesus will make everything "great" is not helping me at all, as that is not a place that I can turn to.

At this point all I can turn to is my hope that somehow she will see the error of her ways. The hope of good friends, which I am plentiful in.

I appreciate your post(s). Thank you.




EON_MagicMan

Lumpy

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27th September 2005

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#59 13 years ago

If I'm not mistaken, Divorce is derived from a latin word which means 'to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet'.




dysfunctional

I work too much

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25th August 2003

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#60 13 years ago
EON_MagicManIf I'm not mistaken, Divorce is derived from a latin word which means 'to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet'.

That made me laugh.

Thanks, I needed it.