I haven't cried since May 29th 2005. I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was two days after and they had moved me from intensive care down to a private room. The only thing that I could stomach for that week was Ice cold water. The ice was little cubes that when crunched reminded me of snow going down. Every four hours I kept sliding down my bed. It was at an incline so i could watch the only thing good on cable that week which was the crocodile hunter. I was so weak I would have to wait until a nurse came in to pull me back up.
The doctors thought there might be something wrong with my stomach since i hadn't started eating anything. The real problem was that all the hospital food at a real funky taste and a HORRIBLE smell. I thought and still think they had drugged it with laxatives. They decided they were going to xray my stomach the next morning because for some reason i couldn't drink or eat for so many hours before hand. So there I was, I couldn't scooch up, I couldn't roll over, I hadn't eaten anything in a week, and they were taking away the water which was the only thing keeping away the thirst.
I got two hours of sleep that night. The rest was spent trying to picture myself how I was 8 days ago, walking down the hallways without a care in the world. I kept wishing I could go back and kick myself in the ass for even thinking this adventure would be a good idea. But that was of course hindsight.
The only thing on TV that night was the history channel. Houston hospitals only have basic so there was no showtime girls on that night :(. But the history channel was on. They were having a special on biological weapons which lasted all night. I went to reach for the remote which was about 4 inches from my hand and I accidentally knocked it over the edge of the railing on the bed. So here I am, pretty much paralyzed, thirsty, and miserable watching the history of bio weaponry. 11pm rolles around, then 1, then 4 hours later 2am rolls around. It seems with every hour in real time about 4 in bed time actually passed.
Finally it's 8 in the morning and the floor doctor is making his rounds. He comes into my room and I immediately ask for water. The nurses tell him I'm NPO which is code for Nulla Per Os (Latin: Nothing By Mouth, also Non/Nil Per Os) (I looked it up just now). The doctor could see my misery and told them right there to get me some water. Since my lips had crusted over all night, you can imagine not drinking while in an AC controlled room. She put what they called ointment on there. After she put it on she said it was generic KY jelly. Couldn't really tell her no at that point, but to tell you the truth I really didn't give a shit. I was just happy it was 8am.
They told me the xray was still on and I had to get out of bed so they could get me into a wheel chair and roll me down to 3rd floor xray. First you have to get rolled onto your side, then while on your side they have to grab hold of the shoulders and kind of twist you up right. Hurts like fire when you have a 14inch cut running down your chest and 3 1/2" tubes running into the middle of your chest. Also when I moved the reddish stuff in the tubes would move up and down too like when your just about done with the soda in your cup but theres a little more at the bottom and your straw isn't getting complete stream. Just like that but coming out right about your the stomach. Where you might ask were these going. They were going to a little plastic suitcase that I had to bring with me everywhere I went. When someone helped me to take a leak, the case was right there. So i get into the chair (with the help of the 3 nurses of course.) One was a real savior. If there is such a thing as an angel they are nurses. Right then I just couldn't hold back. i tried, but it was in vain. I just cried. Couldn't stop. No matter how hard I tried. Here i am in a gown, being wheeled down 3 stairs. I'm 6'6" haven't shaved in days, tubes coming out of my chest, and they're wheeling a monitor and I.V. along with me. Days before I was the proudest 20yr old you could imagine. A few days later i'm a broken wreck. I'll never forget that day.
I wish i cried more. Emotion is one of those spices of life. I just tend only to do it when I can't help it. Its almost like a ceremony to be respected. If you read to this point kudos to you. I guess it was me just getting out a little pinned up baggage.
Crying because of films seems pretty stupid to me. But anyway, i've been crying a lot over the past year. It's pretty much been the worst year of my life.
I cry quite a lot. Life gets me down. :bawl:
I has been a long time, too long for me to rember. The last time I got close was when was agust of 2005. My cousin who was my age was killed in an accident between a semi and his bike. It was at the funeral. I came close, but I stopped.
I don't get sad now, only angry. I took this girl I liked to dace we had, I asked her, I payed for the ticket, I bought her flowers and she ditched me there. That was the last time I really angry, but if I was younger, I would have been crying.
I do sometimes..
The last time was the evening after Steve Erwin was reported to be dead.
everyone crys atleast once in their life. the last time i cried was about.. a week ago.. i was watching a sappy movie :lol: everyone crys for different reasons and some cry more often then others because they are more sensitive to different things. theres nothing to be ashamed of when you cry, it just shows tht you have feelings and arent afraid to express them.. imho
I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)
11th February 2003
Crying is a very human thing that everyone experiences throughout most of thier life stages..Kids/Teens these days try to make it look like crying is a bad thing or that you should be embaressed and/or ashamed of yourself if you cried..No.
But its been a while since I've cried but yeah Ive cried a few times in the past 2 years because of many internal family problems, especially between me and my dad and mom. Sometimes either seperatly or both, on MANY issue to range from religion[no im not converting! LOL :P], to politics and world affairs, to my future. Im not ashamed of crying it was a true emotion and I needed to.
Never be ashamed.