Guys, and feelings.... 95 replies

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NCC1017spock

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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25th April 2007

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#1 9 years ago

Ok this has been bugging me for a while now, so I might as well lay my cards out on the tabel. First thing I want to say is, before you all jump on me is no, I am not gay, and am not in anyway shape or from attacking poeple that are gay or strait with this thread. Now to business! I want to know why guys have to be all like "Feelings!? No I dont have feelings! They are for panzies!" Becuase I see alot of poeple like that around me, and it anoyes the crap out of me, no good comes from it. I used to be like that, and man oh man did it lead to some horrible outcomes. When I talk to other guys just about anything, 95% of the time, everything is made fun of, everything is a joke, and everything is BS. When I talk to girls, they can take in information on just about anything, make sense of it, and realy offer some help. Becuase I have had a VERY interresting 2 weeks, ranging form make a new life long best friend, to attemped suicide, to falling in love head over heals, to having my 16th birthday(today). And though out this whole thing, online and in real life, only girls have been able to ofer anyhelp, weather it just be listening, to just getting all this out of my head and letting poeple know whats going on. To even saving my life, so this is what I pose to you guys, why are guys (95% of them) so useless when it comes to feelings, and why can't they really take in anything to do with feelings at all?




Primarch Vulkan VIP Member

For the Emperor! Knights of Caliban!

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#2 9 years ago

was does being a homosexual have to showing feelings?

Yes, we do have feelings. We have tremendous feelings. We are human. It is true that many guys tend to hide their emotions. This is because in our society it is the social norm for guys to be tough and to put on a tough-guy image that hides the emotional basketcase many of us tend to be underneath. Some guys may seem to have no feelings because they can be so cruel...but then so can women. Take it from me, from firsthand experience, I know how cruel, heartless and emotionless women can be...one of my ex-boyfriends a textbook example. I've been burned by female friends just as badly as well. The point is, both men and women have equal emotions. In some cases, men can be, what may be considered "WORSE" than women when it comes to certain situations. Cases in point: When we're on the receiving end of a break-up...get a towel and a violin. When we lose a game or competition after putting so much heart in it...again, get the towel and the violin. When we get mad, watch out. When we get sad, you'll hear about it. When we're happy, you'll probably see it.

Forgive me for saying the question is ignorant, but I just have to point out the fact. Men are every bit as emotional as women...we just live in a society where it is socially unacceptable for men to be publicly emotional...but not all men are like that. Me, I personally don't care much for the tough guy image...when people see me, that's what they will immediately think, but when they get to know me, they'll see that i'm not a head-strong walking wall that doesn't even know what emotion is. If I didn't allow my emotions to be shown, my relationship with my boyfriend wouldn't be as fantastic as it is now. Judging from the question, this is probably rooted in being hurt or toyed with in the past.


[color=#000000][size=2][b][i]Heralds of the coming doom, Like the cry of the Raven, we are drawn, This oath of war and vengeance, On a blade of exalted iron sworn, With blood anointed swords



NCC1017spock

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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#3 9 years ago

I am not saying this about the poeple on these forums, most of you poeple are fine, I am talking about the poeple around me in real life, sorry for not makig that clear. And yes there reason pulled at that "dont call me gay card" is becuase I have been delt that several times in the past few days, and most guys I am around in my life(IDK about everyone here) seems to have issues with showing they have feelings. (and your post has been deleted^) IDK, I didnt do that? :S




Primarch Vulkan VIP Member

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#4 9 years ago

Men are human we show emotion but society has taught us men to hide our emotion and bottle it up.

From the Marlboro Man to Clint Eastwood and from football heroes to the father and grand-father who went before them, men have learned to do the following: - control your emotions - "Don't cry, be tough!" - be self-reliant - "Stand on your own feet and solve your own problems." - perform - "Work hard, achieve high performance." - compete - "A winner never quits and a quitter never wins." - avoid being feminine - "Don't be a wuss! Be a man." - disconnect sex and intimacy - "Be a great lover."

I have feeling and I show them whenever the fuck I what, I don't care what other people think about me. I'm not Vulcan I will show my emotions and nobody is going to stop me.

No I hit the delete botton by mistake when wanted to hit okay...


[color=#000000][size=2][b][i]Heralds of the coming doom, Like the cry of the Raven, we are drawn, This oath of war and vengeance, On a blade of exalted iron sworn, With blood anointed swords



NCC1017spock

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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#5 9 years ago

ah, so why in todays world do so many still hold these values? EDIT: And we does it seem to surge when showed is public?




Primarch Vulkan VIP Member

For the Emperor! Knights of Caliban!

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#6 9 years ago
NCC1017spock;4920700ah, so why in todays world do so many still hold these values? EDIT: And we does it seem to surge when showed is public?

A lot of men think the tough guy image is sexy quite frankly I find it annoying as fuck..


[color=#000000][size=2][b][i]Heralds of the coming doom, Like the cry of the Raven, we are drawn, This oath of war and vengeance, On a blade of exalted iron sworn, With blood anointed swords



AzH

I'm too cool to Post

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17th September 2003

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#7 9 years ago

Gay.




Nemmerle Forum Mod

Voice of joy and sunshine

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#8 9 years ago
Uwsar-Hat-Anupuw;4920698No I hit the delete botton by mistake when wanted to hit okay...

Ah I can fix that, hang on a mo'.

I think that men tend to have different emotions and different coping strategies; it's not that feelings in general don't exist but at the same time there's a massive cultural difference between the gender roles, you can't expect the emotions to match up perfectly. There's rarely any real functional solution to emotional problems beyond recomending some sort of neurochemical readjustment.




NCC1017spock

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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#9 9 years ago
Nemmerle;4920706Ah I can fix that, hang on a mo'. I think that men tend to have different emotions and different coping strategies; it's not that feelings in general don't exist but at the same time there's a massive cultural difference between the gender roles, you can't expect the emotions to match up perfectly. There's rarely any real functional solution to emotional problems beyond recomending some sort of neurochemical readjustment.

Think add meds only makes things worse, and becomes an easy way "out" X.X instend of solving anything. All my freinds that have gone for them (male and females) have come extremely closes to kicking the bucket do to O.D.ing....




Flash525

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#10 9 years ago

Maybe the male population has simply been taken over by Vulcan's? In all seriousness though, women (generally) are more emotional than men. Women also state (from time to time) that men are more immature, hence they're not able to take things seriously and such. Whilst this is open to debate (I've met some damn immature women in my time), the outline is still there. Firstly, you've clearly stated that it isn't all guys that are like this, and you're right. Some guys though, fall under a type of 'group', and they decide that to stay cool, and be apart of this group, they must act tough, act hard, and they'll be seen as such. To cry, or show emotion etc, wont get them any points with their fellow 'crew'. Even those in a relationship probably don't tell their girlfriend they love them very much, at least, not publicly because it is seen as weak. I think it is quite pathetic really, but that is just the way society is. I figure it would vary depending upon which country / state etc you are in.