I'm tired of political candidates pussy-footing delicately around the issue of abortion. Every time I turn on the TV, there's always some group of hippies protesting "for choice" or "for life." Each group pisses the other off, and no candidate will take a strong enough stance on the issue of abortion, so I've decided to form a political party of my own:
The Regressive Party I have a different stance on abortion: I'm against abortion, but for killing babies. That way everyone loses, and I win. I'm neither pro choice, nor pro life; I'm pro you-shutting-the-hell-up. The only way I'd be "pro choice" is if it meant I could choose which babies I could abort, and only then if I could lift the age restriction to 80. I was at this mall the other day watching some shitty documentary when I came out of the theater and saw old people dancing to country music in the courtyard. I couldn't remember the last time I saw a group of people begging this hard to be aborted.
Here is where I stand on other issues:
No protests. Under my government, there will be no assembly, peaceful or otherwise:
Why does everyone always sing the praises of civil disobedience? What good did it do for Gandhi? He's dead. What the hell is civil disobedience anyway? You can add the word "civil" to any crime (and yes, protesting is a crime, or will be if I'm elected in office), and suddenly it has a positive connotation? What next, civil first degree felony with aggravated assault? What's worse is that these black-foots stink up the streets with their VW bugs and harass the officers just trying to crack some skull. Which leads me to my next point:
No more police. Police officers will be replaced with a strike force with the ability to tap into your phone conversations, spy on your Internet connection, arrest you for no reason or any reason at all, and interrogate you behind closed doors during secret hearings. It'll be awesome, and if anyone complains, they will be labeled unpatriotic. The beauty of it is that people won't protest because protesters will be victims of police brutality. The reason I say victims is because the punishment for the crime of brutalizing police would be murder. It's the criminals who need to be brutalized, not the police.
Vampire hunting will be a government sanctioned profession.
Seriously. I can't stand vampires and people who claim to be them. If there are real vampires, then there should be real vampire hunters. I don't have a beef with Mr. Tepes because I think we can all agree that impaling 20,000 people on stakes as a negotiating tactic is sufficiently awesome. What I have a problem with are these 14 year old losers who hang out at raves wearing prosthetic fangs, listening to obnoxious happy-hardcore dancing with giant platform shoes (courtesy of "Hot Topic," because all vampires shop at trendy clothing stores for their pre-packaged sub-culture needs). When they're not busy doing the dishes for their allowance, they're out doing evil things like smoking, staying up past curfew, or reading books on the occult at Barnes & Noble. They join little "sanguinarian" clubs and they change their names to something adequately evil like Raven, Ivy or Memnoch.
These are the same people who say they laugh during dramas when someone gets killed. We all know a person like this, they think they're morbid and mysterious because they force out a contrived chuckle during a death scene. Oooh, you laughed during a murder, you're so unique and evil. The fact that the number of members in these stupid clubs surge every time a new "Blade" movie comes out eludes them. Who has time for things like facts and responsibility when you're busy "feeding" yourself by having orgies that give you magical powers? Idiots.
Ska is banned. Nobody listens to ska. That's pretty much it. Oh yeah, I was going to write about how I was going to take away women's right to vote, but that one is pretty obvious since nobody wants women to vote, except for women, and they don't count.
Nice one Bob, nice one!!
You couldn't have wrote that though...I know your style...
Still funny though.
nah i got it from a friend, I thought it was funny so I posted it.
I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)
14th April 2004
:lol: :lol: :lol: really funny btw arent vampires for real?!!
Ohh sure, everyone is 'pro-choice' right up until if they were the baby to be aborted.
I didn't make it!
I used to be pro-choice. Well, that was until I saw pictures of aborted babies. Very disturbing pictures. That changed my whole view.
I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)
14th April 2004
the mother should decide whther to keep the pregnency or not
Wanna go Double Dutch?
9th December 2003
I'm in favour of abortion because of reason i stated hundreds of times before: its their body, if a women and the father want to abort the baby then they should have the right to do so. If you can't take care of a child you should't have kids, and i wouldn't want to put all this kids in some kinf of relief house. And the mother should always be allowed to abort the child in rape cases.
I say let the women have their choice. Its not like we men own their bodies, nor do we have a right to do what we want with a woman's body. The choice to end a pregnancy is reserved for women and not men for a reason, they carry the babies, we don't.
Think about if the roles were reversed, if you were pregnant, and you didn't want the baby. Would you go through with the pregnancy if there was nobody to help you, and no father-figure for the child? Would you keep that baby knowing that for a good size of those 9 months, you wouldn't be able to go to school, or work to earn a living to support a child and with no father, there would be no further income? I understand thats why they have maternity leave, but still, its a hard to raise a child for those early years.