My Experience with a "NICE GUY" 42 replies

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Jill

Idiot Action-Adventure Girl

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8th July 2006

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#1 12 years ago

I'm going to share with everyone an experience that happened to me a few months ago at school. It is concerning a "NICE GUY". I can only tell you what happened. I don't know if there is a thing called the "NICE GUY" pattern, but I talked to a few other girls about this and they told me that simular things happened to them. You know the old saying...."NICE GUYS" finish last? This maybe true. I met him in marching band. We talked and at the time my life and relationship was a mess, and he seemed all too eager to lend an ear. It got to the point where we were "best friends", we talked and ate lunch together everyday at school. The fact that I was in a relationship, this didn't seem to bother him at all, and I kept thinking how cool it was to have a male best friend who was such a NICE GUY and so supportive!!! I did notice that he never dated and I felt kinda bad for him, because he was such a NICE GUY, so I gave him tips on how to attract girls. He seemed very interested and listened carefully. I told him about girls in general and what attracts them...etc. Then one day in band practice...a friend of his began dropping subtle hints about how my "Best Friend" wanted more than friendship...never anything outright, just little comments. It started to dawn on me then that maybe something with my friend wasn't quite right, something undermining was going on underneath the surface. I sort of a gut feeling something wasn't right. So what I did is I confronted him about his friends comment. In my heart I was not interested in dating him. I talked to him after school and said that I directly told him I wasn't interested in dating, but I enjoyed our friendship. I wasn't sure what would happen....but he seemed to take it really well, and it blew over...things went completely back to normal between us. What happened next really surprised and hurt me. I stop seeing the guy I was with and started dating someone else casually. That was a huge mistake. My "Best Friend" instantly became sarcastic and non-supportive, and promptly began dating my second bestfriend and throwing it in my face, trying to provoke a reaction. He had been seeing her for a while, but kept her on the backburner. Naturally, she hated me, and my "Best Friend" coldly told me not to call or sit with him during lunch anymore...so I just backed away. I was upset and hurt when this guy that I liked and trusted so much turned on me like a snake, because I wouldn't DATE him, and I realize now the only reason he befriended me and listened to all my problems and Bullshit was because he thought it would be an "easy in" when I was vulnerable. Any thoughts about "NICE GUYS"?




Griffin_NL

El-Producto

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24th July 2005

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#2 12 years ago
Jillhe befriended me and listened to all my problems and Bullshit was because he thought it would be an "easy in" when I was vulnerable.

Did he know you were 'vulnerable', or that your life was kind off messy at that time? When you like somebody, you always try to befriend her/him. He could of just been in love, and therefore listened to you and being friendly. It doesn't necessarly mean that he was interested because he thought you'd be an 'easy in'. It could be that he really liked you, but after you unintentionally 'hurt' him, he kind off wanted revenge.

The 'revenge' is stupid and childish, but do not blaim everything on him. Being in love can make you do stupid things.




Jackthehammer

You can either agree with meor be wrong.

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12th November 2003

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#3 12 years ago

I had the same thing with this girl I 'dated' a while ago.. well it wasnt really dating, she wanted me to be her boyfriend, I didn't, I just liked the company and sex. anyhoo, thats besides the point.

she had this friend (male) who was, like you said very nice to her, never layed a hand on her or made any move concerning more then friends.. I saw it happen a couple of times, and being a man myself I said to her that it was just a scam. She didn't want to believe me because he was being nice like that for over 2 years.

Eventually, he noticed me, and didn't like it at all that I was sleeping with her and she liked me etc.. so one night whilest bringing her home on a saturday night he tried to kiss her and told his true feeling for the first time in 2 years.. she said she didnt like him in 'that' way, and refused.

Since then they never spoke to eachother again, neither did I, but that's besides the point :)

I saw so the exact same story you told happen in front of me :lol:




Cap'n Rommel

The Good

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7th August 2004

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#4 12 years ago

I think a reason why he began to be sarchastic and such was because he was hurt too, not because you started dating another, but because he think that you dont want him as your friend, ones emotions can change very quickly without you wanting it, he might wanted to be your friend at first but his emotions took over.




Aeroflot

I would die without GF

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2nd May 2003

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#5 12 years ago

I was.. kind of a nice guy in highschool, atleast until my senior year. I'm not ging to go into details, but I will say I've done several illegal and possible evil things. :lookaround: And that doesn't include the weed... There was this girl I knew for three years that I wanted to go out with, but when I first knew her, she didn't want to date anyone. So, I really didn't want to spoil anything by asking her out and her saying no, because talking to her would be sort of awkward. Well, my senior year I asked her to a dance and she said 'maybe.' Then she told everyone that she wasn't going to go. And this girl doesn't lie, she doesn't do anything bad. Well, there was this guy she disliked the entire time in highschool. Well, she went with him to the dance. LIKE WTF?!? So she lied to me (she said she wasn't going to go with anyone to me like 50 million times) and then she went out with the guy I thought she hated. Even though she was one of my best friends, the whole situation turned my view of her around. She continued to go out with the guy, and being still sort of a nice guy - but an incredibly evil one, I was jealous. I held myself back from doing anything super stupid, but I also wasn't as friendly to her as I was before. We hung out still, but lets say the 100 years war started all over again. The witty remarks and sarcasm never stopped. =\

Ironically, it seems they were meant for eachother.




Jill

Idiot Action-Adventure Girl

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8th July 2006

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#6 12 years ago

AeroflotI was.. kind of a nice guy in highschool, atleast until my senior year. I'm not ging to go into details, but I will say I've done several illegal and possible evil things. :lookaround: And that doesn't include the weed... There was this girl I knew for three years that I wanted to go out with, but when I first knew her, she didn't want to date anyone. So, I really didn't want to spoil anything by asking her out and her saying no, because talking to her would be sort of awkward. Well, my senior year I asked her to a dance and she said 'maybe.' Then she told everyone that she wasn't going to go. And this girl doesn't lie, she doesn't do anything bad. Well, there was this guy she disliked the entire time in highschool. Well, she went with him to the dance. LIKE WTF?!? So she lied to me (she said she wasn't going to go with anyone to me like 50 million times) and then she went out with the guy I thought she hated. Even though she was one of my best friends, the whole situation turned my view of her around. She continued to go out with the guy, and being still sort of a nice guy - but an incredibly evil one, I was jealous. I held myself back from doing anything super stupid, but I also wasn't as friendly to her as I was before. We hung out still, but lets say the 100 years war started all over again. The witty remarks and sarcasm never stopped. =\ Ironically, it seems they were meant for eachother.[/quote] Wow...I think this "NICE GUY" syndrome is more common than we think. Since I wrote this thread and I like bush....someone send me this. All in fun. I thought I would share it with you since I thought it was funny. :) [QUOTE=kienshin]BUSH IS A NICE GUY:

bushbong1cr8.jpg

A bit of UK humor :)




masked_marsoe VIP Member

Heaven's gonna burn your eyes

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16th April 2005

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#7 12 years ago

The first rule of guys is: Guys are pricks.

Don't even try to argue that, because you know deep down, it's true. For every wankerish, stupid, ignorant fucking thing we have done, we have to take the collective blame for every girl we've left in tears and every heart we've broken. Now, I try to be a truely nice guy, and it's not easy. Before you know it, there's the girl you've been attracted to for years crying on your shoulder, and you're so close... . For me, I have only ever not done the honorable thing once. And I've been with her for seven months XD. But for the other girls in my life (and there are plenty), I've always traded the chance for the friendship. Still, doesn't not make it bloody hard.




Dragokatzov

GF is my bext friend *hugs GF*

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24th January 2005

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#8 12 years ago
masked_marsoeThe first rule of guys is: Guys are pricks.

yup! could not of said it any better myself. i have no respect for guys who do not respect women. I have never seen women as objects or just as a piece of ass. probably because i was raised pretty much soley by my mother, i have a great deal of respect for women.

I'm really sorry that happened to you Jill, i hope he gets whats coming to him




gnspr9

Things with sharp edges!

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23rd July 2005

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#9 12 years ago
masked_marsoeThe first rule of guys is: Guys are pricks.

Very, very true, yes we are.

But i try to be a nice guy most of the time, i'm still friends with my ex even.:)




Cap'n Rommel

The Good

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7th August 2004

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#10 12 years ago
The first rule of guys is: Guys are pricks.

Agreed, but we cant help it