Trouble with daddy 26 replies

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Liquid fire

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10th June 2006

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#1 12 years ago

I am having problems with my dad. He left me as a child and abused me and hurt me bad when I was younger and I saw he do bad hurtfull things to my mom. He has tried to reform since and I was going over his house for a while but eventually I got feed up of him and his family. I got tired of his stuck up family. I don't know if any one could back me up on this but I am fairly smart at times. His family treats me like the slow one. The dumby dumb one.

He called today and even though I dont hate the man and have been going over his house every other week end for years..I have suddenly grown tired of him and his family and dont want to see him anymore , or not as near as much as he wants to see me. Since he made a hell of an effort to change and since he was a good father before he became a bastard all those years ago I still respect him enough not to hurt his feelings. Today he has called me on the phone ...and we said blah blah and now he wants me to writte a email to him today. I have no clue what to writte or how. Im tired of the abnormal exposure of that life style and Im tired of going over his mothers and fathers house , teens dont hang with parents that much anyways.




gimpnumber2

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30th September 2005

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#2 12 years ago

...

your telling us this because??




Liquid fire

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#3 12 years ago

I dont have anyone else to share it with and I was hoping some one had a good idea. I had faith....




gimpnumber2

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#4 12 years ago

is this a joke? anyway email him!




Pb2Au

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4th October 2004

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#5 12 years ago

Parents, divorced or not, obviously love for you to write emails. I'm doing a summer semester of college right now, only 5 weeks, and my mom wants me to email or phone her. It's just the way parents are hardwired. But, if you are tired of your dad, that is understandable. It's even better that you can forgive him, and still respect him, that shows that you being sick of him is not some mindless hate, but you have actually tried. I'm not sure how old you are, so I can't really advise you because I have no clue how much independence you have, but I'm guessing mid-teens? 14-16? If that is the case, I would suggest you tackle it honestly. You cannot shut him out of your life bnecause of your age, but you obviously have enough of a relationship to talk honestly. Call him up, or wait until he calls you again, and say you really thought about writing an email, but weren't sure what to write. Be fairly honest (not brutally so), and tell him that you are going through a time where you really want to move away from him for a bit. Say it sympathetically, like it is a temporary thing that you want to do for yourself, and he should understand. It's not abnormal for people to go through readjustment phases where they need to be alone for a while, so if you present it as just that, he will most likely give you some space and not be offended.

-EDIT- Gimp.... what the hell?

...your telling us this because??
is this a joke? anyway email him!

This is an internet forum, people can discuss their problems here. It's not like you're forced to talk about video games in every thread because this is called Gamingforums, you can get advice on real life issues from people who might understand. You're being pretty rude, insulting a guy who is asking for help, especially considering you don't have to read his post or enter his thread.




Liquid fire

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#6 12 years ago
Pb2AuParents, divorced or not, obviously love for you to write emails. I'm doing a summer semester of college right now, only 5 weeks, and my mom wants me to email or phone her. It's just the way parents are hardwired. But, if you are tired of your dad, that is understandable. It's even better that you can forgive him, and still respect him, that shows that you being sick of him is not some mindless hate, but you have actually tried. I'm not sure how old you are, so I can't really advise you because I have no clue how much independence you have, but I'm guessing mid-teens? 14-16? If that is the case, I would suggest you tackle it honestly. You cannot shut him out of your life bnecause of your age, but you obviously have enough of a relationship to talk honestly. Call him up, or wait until he calls you again, and say you really thought about writing an email, but weren't sure what to write. Be fairly honest (not brutally so), and tell him that you are going through a time where you really want to move away from him for a bit. Say it sympathetically, like it is a temporary thing that you want to do for yourself, and he should understand. It's not abnormal for people to go through readjustment phases where they need to be alone for a while, so if you present it as just that, he will most likely give you some space and not be offended. -EDIT- Gimp.... what the hell? This is an internet forum, people can discuss their problems here. It's not like you're forced to talk about video games in every thread because this is called Gamingforums, you can get advice on real life issues from people who might understand. You're being pretty rude, insulting a guy who is asking for help, especially considering you don't have to read his post or enter his thread.

Thank you for your post and your edit.:) I'm glad that the modern world still has people as kind and understanding as you. Some times people can't help being put down into an emotional state and I'm just darn glad that we still have people like you to help bring us back up from our knees because together we stand taller.




Pb2Au

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#7 12 years ago

With the relationship, though, the most important thing is to reduce his presence in your life without him becoming offended by that. The easiest way is to introduce the feelings- or lack of feelings- you have for him and his relatives as a fairly temporary period where you feel the need to be more isolated from relatives. This excuse, which is probably fairly true in itself, will accomplish two things. First, it avoids him becoming offended that you do not want to spend time with him at all. Second, it allows him to adjust to the concept of him not being as involved in his life. After you have the conversation with him, if he pressures you anytime during the next few months, trying to suggest you visit him or do something like an all-day outing, plead it off by reminding him that, while you would usually love to do it, you are just really not feeling like it. After he starts leaving you alone for a month or two, you can gradually start to cut off the relationship more. Be cordial for stuff like visits, dinners, or things that are not incredibly time-consuming, but kind of phase out stuff like all-weekend trips, the stuff that requires you be in close contact with him for an extended time. This will be aided by you (probably) going back to school. You can truthfully say that you are incredibly busy with school and work and, between that and your need to be alone for a bit, will allow you to gradually phase him out of your life.




gimpnumber2

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30th September 2005

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#8 12 years ago

LOL! pb2au, ur being an idiot, this guy is taking the piss, look at the grammer he uses and the phrases, all of these add up to create a sarcastic speech, there are various spelling mistakes which shows this was done in a hurry, thus not much care taken and even the title is sarcastic "Trouble with daddy". We stand tall backups my ideas, this is sarcasm. Bye, enjoy writing long replys to people laughing at you the other end.




Pb2Au

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#9 12 years ago
LOL! pb2au, ur being an idiot, this guy is taking the piss, look at the grammer he uses and the phrases, all of these add up to create a sarcastic speech, there are various spelling mistakes which shows this was done in a hurry, thus not much care taken and even the title is sarcastic "Trouble with daddy". We stand tall backups my ideas, this is sarcasm. Bye, enjoy writing long replys to people laughing at you the other end.

You're talking about HIS grammar problems? About HIS lack of attention to what he is writing? And if he is making all this up, how on EARTH does it hurt me? He can... laugh at me for 5 minutes that I believed him and offered advice to him for a plausible situation. And then be done with it. Or, he could be telling the truth, and I could (and do) sincerely try to help him. Either I lose nothing, or spend a tiny amount of energy helping someone with their problems. Either way, there's nothing that would discourage me from posting.




gimpnumber2

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#10 12 years ago

lol ur saying my grammar is incorrect, this is bcos i cannot be bothered to type articles and pages of words, unlike someone.......