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Pb2Au

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4th October 2004

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#1 13 years ago

THe parents of one of my best friends are getting a divorce after at least 16 years of marragie (between 16 and 20, not exactly sure) and he's pretty messed up. What is there to say? Is it better to not talk or what?




Nemmerle Forum Mod

Voice of joy and sunshine

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26th May 2003

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#2 13 years ago

The very point that you have to ask "What is there to say" indicates that it would be better if you did not talk about it with him. Continuing to be a friend to him may be the best thing you can do.




FoolBird66

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12th August 2004

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#3 13 years ago

Wow, same thing here.




-Ghost-

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20th August 2003

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#4 13 years ago

This happened to me once. I used to be friends with a kid, but then his parents got divorced, and he sort of fell in with some bad people. I tried to help him out a little, but it was too late, last thing I remeber of hi was that he was smoking and drinking all the time...The best thing you can do is just be his friend, try to help him out but don't mention the divorce, or any family problems.




FireSphere

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13th February 2004

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#5 13 years ago

I went through this experience (my parents got divorced after more than 20 years of marriage). It is not pleasant. My parents used me and my brothers against each other and in court. All I can say is...your friend doesn't have to "fall in with bad people" just because his parents were divorced. I guess it depends on how individual he is in his thinking. If he was like me (seeing the divorce for what it was worth, which is to say something that shouldn't make or break me), and has a clear drive to do his own thing, then he shouldn't start relying on others (e.g., the "bad people") more than himself. If I were you, I would try to make him aware that he can survive this divorce and that his life is ultimately what he decides of it. Also, if he makes mistakes, then he can always recover from them, so all is not lost.




Pb2Au

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4th October 2004

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#6 13 years ago

Thanks, that all helps a lot. I really don't think his outlook will change as drastcally as what you said, Ghost, but it's still a really rough time right now. The decision is fairly solid, I doubt they will get back together again, so all I'm hoping for is that everything proceeds as smoothly as possible without further friction or damage.




NiteStryker

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24th April 2003

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#7 13 years ago

Kids who get put in the middle of a divorce always end up getting burned. Their entire home structure has been torn apart. , so they need some familiarty, some stability...so thry turn to drugs or alchol or people who do those things for soliace.

My advice would be to let the kid have his space but tell him that u will be there if he needs to talk. He is in the worst imaginable spot right now so give him some time.




-Ghost-

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#8 13 years ago

Lol, didn't mean to come in and say "HE"S GONNA TURN TO DRUGS" my friend was always a little weak when it came to judgement, so it wasn't too much of a suprise when he turned to smoking and alcohol.