Where do you draw the line? 10 replies

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eezstreet

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#1 7 years ago

For years now, I've been kind of out of the female-hunting scene. Yet still, I'm seeing things around me which are quite remarkably obscene. For instance- I know a guy that-if you'll excuse the slang- humped and dumped a fifteen year old on the first date. Two years apart, but still, where do you draw the line? On the other hand, if a couple with the same age gap were to pursue a fairly decent-lengthed relationship with the same outcome, does that make any difference to you, even if the ending outcome- sex and then later a breakup of the relationship were to remain the same? But what does age have to do with it? Moreover, what difference does it make morally if a 18 year old and a 14 year old date, but a 26 year old and a 22 year old date? Some (probably the former couple in my example) would argue that "age is just a number" and I think that's kind of crap if you really think about it. Not asking because there's a specific purpose. Just curious if there's some norm to this or generally what the consensus is.




Andron Taps Forum Mod

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#2 7 years ago

This thread makes me uncomfortable...

Anyways, I guess I'd draw the line at whatever the state deems a legal age as long as it is, in fact, consensual.


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



Fortune

something to believe.

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#3 7 years ago
computernerd;5633011This thread makes me uncomfortable...

Lol.

Aged 14 anything up to 17. Aged 15 anything up to 19. Aged 16 anything up to 20. Aged 17 anything up to 22ish.

Aged 18 or older and you're pretty much an adult and can do whatever you wish.

Of course, all of these are just my literal "Mental Comfort Zones" where it doesn't weird me out to the point of being necessarily objectionable.




Giz VIP Member

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#4 7 years ago

For the most part TL;DR but skimmed (every post should sum up entire post with one sentence that explains EVERYTHING).

Anyway, I'm 32 and I'm seeing a 21 year old. For us it's normal. Some might see it as too much of a gap, but anything past 20 and upwards to 10 years difference is OK imo. It's normal for younger women to date older guys. As an older guy i fucking love it lol

But teens shouldn't be included in that. In Canada you're officially an adult at 18 years old. So say a 16 year old was dating a 20 year old, right? That's still wrong because wtf is the 20 year old thinking? The 16 year old isn't fully aware what they're doing, and the 20 year old is a fucking idiot. I mean I know when I was 16 I was still so oblivious to life so you don't really know what you're doing at that age.




Flash525

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#5 7 years ago

I can't say I've thought about this too much, though I do frown upon people (18+) who date girls that are still at school. I don't think that is right for the simple reason that (regardless what they might say) the school girls quite simply aren't mature enough.

Realistically, in most states you're classed as an adult when you hit either 18, or 21, thus from that point on, it's entirely up to you who you date, and what age they are. I can see the confusion (if the right word) when thinking of age gaps (what is the difference between a 14 year old dating a 24 year old, compared to a 24 year old dating a 34 year old) - as I've stated above, it's simply a case of maturity.

The catch, at least on some occasions; if the age gap is too big, there is going to be a point in the relationship falls apart. If a 20 year old dated a 35 year old, when that 20 year old reaches 45, they'd be dating someone who is 60. The older the elder person gets, the less likely the relationship is to continue as the younger person may still feel they've got more to do.

...that is unless the elder has loads of money; seems to be a common practise does that.

But yeah, to summarise, once the younger hits adult / legal age, it's their choice who they date. Age gaps become irrelevant.




eezstreet

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#6 7 years ago

I kind of agree with Fortune's way of thinking. However the laws around here would be pretty much frowning upon that kind of thing. I guess it's just a matter of opinion.




Schofield VIP Member

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#7 7 years ago

I think people are waaaaaaaaaaaay too caught up in the whole age thing. What exactly is wrong with a 20 year old dating a 16 year old? It may not be love - but they can still have genuine emotions for one another at the time, and that's good enough for me. I mean, I've had feelings for a plethora of girls since as long as I can remember - I don't like girls in the younger ages any longer, but some people don't grow out of those things as fast. We're quick to call people pedophiles but being a pedophile and being emotionally attracted to someone are sort of different things. =p

Giz;5633017But teens shouldn't be included in that. In Canada you're officially an adult at 18 years old. So say a 16 year old was dating a 20 year old, right? That's still wrong because wtf is the 20 year old thinking? The 16 year old isn't fully aware what they're doing, and the 20 year old is a fucking idiot. I mean I know when I was 16 I was still so oblivious to life so you don't really know what you're doing at that age.

I'm 19 and I'm still completely oblivious to what I'm doing, I don't think 16 and 18 are too different. Being called an adult legally, and actually being an adult are completely different things. Your brain doesn't really stop major stop development until the early twenties. Legal age is all just stupid bullshit, not to say I'm in favour of a 20 year old dating a 13 year old, I'd probably murder the 20 year old if it were my 13 year old daughter. But not too long ago the age restrictions were different.




Crusader

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#8 7 years ago

Its the age of maturity. You turn from Immature into mature (roughly speaking) within a few crucial years. So its a 25 year old can go out with a 45 year old, its a 20 year age gap and even though theres prehaps diffrences due to age gap and some might think its weird, they are still two adults, each who make own choices. But if someones like 18 and the girl is 14 its a four ywar age gap, but it still seems weird, even though the 18 year old is still usually Immature they are starting out making their own choices in life, but the 14 year old is still a kid. Thats why you notice and react to all the changes, personality and appeance usually in the 14-21 age gap (some extend to 25, some even more i suppose), then after lets say 21, its like you start going on auto-pilot, every day drifts into the next, you end up feeling the same person 20 years down the line, even though your body and responsibities force you to change, but you feel totally diffrent in your early 20s compaired to your mid-teens.




Goody. VIP Member

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#9 7 years ago
Yet still, I'm seeing things around me which are quite remarkably obscene. For instance- I know a guy that-if you'll excuse the slang- humped and dumped a fifteen year old on the first date.

On this subject I can be very clear and concise. If this was my daughter she would have had a telling off and made to have a aids test and all that shit to drive home the point about casual sex. The male on the other hand would have had his balls handed to him once he had been charged with statutory rape. For all of you going to say yeah but she consented, So she is not legally old enough to give her lawful consent and it is that simple. The laws are there for a reason and not to be ignored because someone of 17 can't get a girl his own age. Yes I am a parent and yes I have daughters.

Age gaps are ok there is no reason while 2 people of different ages can't love each other. My wife is older than me and we are very happy. Just stay within the law.




Flodgy

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#10 7 years ago

Goody.;5633124On this subject I can be very clear and concise. If this was my daughter she would have had a telling off and made to have a aids test and all that shit to drive home the point about casual sex. The male on the other hand would have had his balls handed to him once he had been charged with statutory rape. For all of you going to say yeah but she consented, So she is not legally old enough to give her lawful consent and it is that simple. The laws are there for a reason and not to be ignored because someone of 17 can't get a girl his own age. Yes I am a parent and yes I have daughters.

Age gaps are ok there is no reason while 2 people of different ages can't love each other. My wife is older than me and we are very happy. Just stay within the law.

I agree with this completely.

As mentioned in other posts above, you can believe that age is simply a number, but it comes down to the age of maturity. Unfortunately, the amount of mature adults is becoming rarer with the general stupidity that seems to infect the population, resulting in... well.. babies.

A 16 year old, a pretty large portion of 18 year olds, and even those around the age of 21 lack the maturity to be in a serious relationship. The maturity is simply not there. They haven't had a chance to garner the necessary life experience to understand the weight of what they are doing and the consequences that will come out of it. Many people could argue that it is "just sex", however has anyone of you ever slept with a woman to think it is something harmless only to have it completely and utterly backfire? I thought I was being clever, yet I ended up with a clingy, crazy bitch of a girl chasing me claiming love. She was 20 years old, and thought I was her life. There is no maturity in that. I was a soldier who was often overseas on deployment, who could offer no stability or happiness.

I won't continue ranting or raving, but I think it is worth noting that with the likes of Twilight and other random forms of crappy media, young women get the false impression of undying love, magnificent sex, and an all around general poor idea of how relationships are meant to be, because they compare their own existence to what is in the books. Simply because they do not know any better. It's things like this that leads to sexual abuse and manipulation at the hands of some dirt bags who take advantage of the aforementioned 16 year olds.

I'll get off my soapbox now. :lookaround:




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