63 ways to p*** off a cop 15 replies

  • 1
  • 2

Please wait...

086goinfast

NObama

50 XP

7th March 2006

0 Uploads

9,633 Posts

0 Threads

#1 11 years ago

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded.

32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62. Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party




Shuttlebay 2

don't worry, it'll fit

50 XP

14th August 2004

0 Uploads

7,022 Posts

0 Threads

#2 11 years ago

nice list... And how many of these things have you actually tried? :p =p




086goinfast

NObama

50 XP

7th March 2006

0 Uploads

9,633 Posts

0 Threads

#3 11 years ago
Stargazor_001;3999519nice list... And how many of these things have you actually tried? :p =p

Never been pulled over(don't drive that much).




Ruley

The Resident Anime Addict

50 XP

10th December 2006

0 Uploads

1,853 Posts

0 Threads

#4 11 years ago

my cuz told me the story that he was pulled over for speeding (80mph in a 70mph zone (moterway)) he pretended he was a mute and used sign language to talk to the officer, after arround 5 mins the officer gave up and left, no ticket!




Dragonelf68

ಠ_ಠ

220,771 XP

24th September 2007

0 Uploads

19,359 Posts

0 Threads

#5 11 years ago

you forgot one. 64: Always carry a box of doughnuts with you. If you get pulled over and he ask's if you know why you were pulled over, show him it and say "yah, because you can smell it"


kYuedqC.png



Red Menace

SCHOFIELD DID 4/30

415,758 XP

10th August 2004

0 Uploads

40,364 Posts

1 Threads

#6 11 years ago

Should be called "63 ways to get on the receiving end of a truncheon"


sigpic82523_3.gif</div></body></html>



The-Bleh-Bleh

Hasselhoff is my hero

50 XP

12th December 2006

0 Uploads

6,189 Posts

0 Threads

#7 11 years ago

Y

Red Menace;3999708Should be called "63 ways to get on the receiving end of a truncheon"

QFT.

But hilarious list.




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#8 11 years ago

nice list




Jackthehammer

You can either agree with meor be wrong.

50 XP

12th November 2003

0 Uploads

16,767 Posts

0 Threads

#9 11 years ago

I remember one time I was in the car with my mate and he got pulled over for speeding just a little. So he accepted the ticket without a fuzz, then as the officer was all finished he asked:

"Tell me, how much for insulting an officer on duty?"

"that'll be 75 euro, young man"

"right'o, add that too, ASSHOLE"

I've never had to try and hide my laughter so badly, I was like the guards in monty pythons life of brain.. haha

lifeofbriancopyrn8.jpg




puffdadder

the really annoying Catholic

50 XP

12th May 2007

0 Uploads

3,121 Posts

0 Threads

#10 11 years ago

had to resurrect.




  • 1
  • 2