A discussion on hole punches. 20 replies

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Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

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9th August 2003

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#1 10 years ago

Good day, fellow forumers.

Today we shall be taking a look into the versatility and usefulness of the common hole puncher in everyday office life.

Hole punches come in a variety of models.

For the sake of easier discussion we shall only be analysing the following three types:

LeitzExtrStarkLocher.jpgThe Oldschool

The Oldschool is a hardcore office hole punching appliance. Suited for extreme conditions, an Oldschool type hole puncher will never leave your pages or colleagues' ties in one piece. The weight of the Oldschool makes it perfect for launching at peoples' heads in case of an old-fashioned office duel.

Office workers using these appliances can be recognized by their muscular physique required to operate the Oldschool.

locher_gr.gifThe New Classic

New Classics were originally introduced by the old Vikings who were in need of a portable hole puncher to take with them on their raids and pillages. By way of misfortune, the expedition force equipped with experimental prototypes were attacked by velociraptors in Norway, burying many of the prototypes in the deep snow.

These velociraptors were later stomped by T-rexes roaming the area and as luck would have it, one of the velociraptors was still clutching a prototype which became lodged between the toes of a T-rex. It was this T-rex that, 200 years later, taking its jetpack to Australia, dropped the New Classic in a busy office center. Thus, the New Classic was quickly adapted and mass-produced.

156190.jpgThe Mammoth

The Mammoth is a heavy duty hole punch. Users of this hardcore office tool are not to be messed with - Mammoths are capable of punching holes in birthday cards and tree trunks alike. Do not confront a Mammoth user in hand-to-hand combat - wielders are known to usually be extremely strong as the Mammoth requires a two-handed style.

Few specialists are present in each office as the Mammoth takes years of practice and sacrifices to use properly.

So you see, hole punches are more hardcore than your socks and twice as durable. They are a necessary evil of every office.

In closing, hole punches are awesome, but should be used with caution.

Class dismissed.


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RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

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28th July 2002

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#2 10 years ago

I can't get the cat to fit in any of them


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

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9th August 2003

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#3 10 years ago

Cut it into slices first, it helps.


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Sh0wdowN

Skeptic Extraordinaire.

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31st December 2003

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#4 10 years ago

I can't get any of them to fit in the cat.




Giz

Massivis Effectivous

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8th May 2002

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#5 10 years ago

Does your avatar suggest that you're a 'flamer' LW? I liked your SC2 one better. I highly recommend that you put it back into use.

As for me, yes, I'm a box head.

Sex?




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#6 10 years ago

:lol: This is the best thread EVAH




Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

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#7 10 years ago

Giz;4197604Does your avatar suggest that you're a 'flamer' LW? I liked your SC2 one better. I highly recommend that you put it back into use.

As for me, yes, I'm a box head.

Sex?

Nope, it's more meant in the sense that I'm on fire =p And in a sense it is true, I was on fire when I was 1 year old ;)

I quite like the avatar actually, but you're right, I might change back to the SC2 one sometime.

I'll have to pass on the sex for this time, thanks for the offer though. <3

Edit: Ah, what the hell, changed it back.


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Guest

I didn't make it!

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#8 10 years ago

Fantastic avatar




tolga

Oel ngati kameie.

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6th February 2007

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#9 10 years ago

Lord Wiener;4197597Good day, fellow forumers.

Today we shall be taking a look into the versatility and usefulness of the common hole puncher in everyday office life.

Hole punches come in a variety of models.

For the sake of easier discussion we shall only be analysing the following three types:

LeitzExtrStarkLocher.jpgThe Oldschool

The Oldschool is a hardcore office hole punching appliance. Suited for extreme conditions, an Oldschool type hole puncher will never leave your pages or colleagues' ties in one piece. The weight of the Oldschool makes it perfect for launching at peoples' heads in case of an old-fashioned office duel.

Office workers using these appliances can be recognized by their muscular physique required to operate the Oldschool.

locher_gr.gifThe New Classic

New Classics were originally introduced by the old Vikings who were in need of a portable hole puncher to take with them on their raids and pillages. By way of misfortune, the expedition force equipped with experimental prototypes were attacked by velociraptors in Norway, burying many of the prototypes in the deep snow.

These velociraptors were later stomped by T-rexes roaming the area and as luck would have it, one of the velociraptors was still clutching a prototype which became lodged between the toes of a T-rex. It was this T-rex that, 200 years later, taking its jetpack to Australia, dropped the New Classic in a busy office center. Thus, the New Classic was quickly adapted and mass-produced.

156190.jpgThe Mammoth

The Mammoth is a heavy duty hole punch. Users of this hardcore office tool are not to be messed with - Mammoths are capable of punching holes in birthday cards and tree trunks alike. Do not confront a Mammoth user in hand-to-hand combat - wielders are known to usually be extremely strong as the Mammoth requires a two-handed style.

Few specialists are present in each office as the Mammoth takes years of practice and sacrifices to use properly.

So you see, hole punches are more hardcore than your socks and twice as durable. They are a necessary evil of every office.

In closing, hole punches are awesome, but should be used with caution.

Class dismissed.

hole punches are cool !! i cant imagine a life without them !!!


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The-Bleh-Bleh

Hasselhoff is my hero

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12th December 2006

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#10 10 years ago

Punching a hole in a legendary thread.