Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passionfor baked beans. He loved them, but they always had anembarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he meta girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they wouldmarry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with themarriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supremesacrifice and gave up beans.Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on hisbirthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down.Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told herthat he would be late because he had to walk home. On his wayhome, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of bakedbeans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walkhe figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home.It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, andbefore leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home hefelt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemedsomewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the mostwonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put ablindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of thetable and made him promise not to peak. At this point he wasbeginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife wasabout to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She againmade him promise not to peek until she returned, and away shewent to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized theopportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It wasnot only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard timebreathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air abouthim. He had just started to feel better, when another urge cameon. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a dieselengine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, hetried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell woulddissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbonwinner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and aminute later the flowers on the table were dead.With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewellshe neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on topof it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence whenhis wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked ifhe had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had notpeeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table for his surprise birthday party.:fart:
I cant be bothered reading that.
Neither can I.
You suck. :kiwi: pwns.
Heard it before
:kiwi: pwns all