A spotlight on T-Rexes 42 replies

Please wait...

Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

51 XP

9th August 2003

0 Uploads

19,761 Posts

0 Threads

#1 10 years ago

Good day, fellow forumers.

Today we will be taking a closer look at T-Rexes.

Identification

The first thing we will be learning is how to correctly identify a T-Rex. T-Rexes are massive, seriously. They're bigger than your house, and probably bigger than your e-peen, despite what you might claim. They generally have a frigging huge tail, a face more hardcore than your usual saturday night pissup caught on photo and very short arms.

Let us explore this in a practical example:

field_guide_trex.jpgImage 1: A T-Rex

armadillo-01.jpgImage 2: NOT a T-Rex

ani_wombat_gallery__550x393.jpgImage 3: Close, but not a T-Rex, note the lack of ferocity in its eyes.

Capabilities and Escape

Now that we know how to identify a T-Rex, let us examine what a T-Rex can and cannot do while chasing you through a shopping mall.

Their notoriously short arms make it virtually impossible to play drums, so one thing less you have to worry about is it laying down a paralyzingly awesome drum solo. Casio-LD-50-Drum-Pad.jpgDrums: Not playable

If you are thinking of using the FYIAD method of escape (jumping into a helicopter whilst shouting Fuck You I'm A Dragon) - please beware that it is an urban myth that a T-Rex can't fly! They will simply don their jetpacks and swiftly give chase, sometimes even over entire continents. jetpack.jpgJetpacks: Boosty. Swooshy, too.

One possible method of escape is to have either an inflatable Velociraptor with you or find the real article on the way. T-Rexes are genetically programmed to stomp out any Velociraptors they encounter, no matter how many tasty wombats may escape in the process. velociraptor_1.jpgVelociraptors: STOMP, STOMP, STOMP!

Please beware however that this will not work with Raptor Jesus, as he will blast a T-Rex out of the way with a ray of AWESOME. e6979997-bae6-4ad2-b722-93f7.jpgRaptorjesus: Holy shiiiiii-

Summary

In closing, do not attempt to smack wombats without a paddle, and carry an inflatable Velociraptor with you at all times.

Class dismissed.


WouldYouKindly.png



Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#2 10 years ago

Are you sure that that last picture isnt a T-rex. It does look like it alot.




Lord Wiener VIP Member

Piercing the veil.

51 XP

9th August 2003

0 Uploads

19,761 Posts

0 Threads

#3 10 years ago

Very. There is no mistaking Raptor Jesus. =p

raptorjesus-36752.jpg


WouldYouKindly.png



Badha1rday

Nature's best screw up.

132,255 XP

27th July 2005

0 Uploads

12,663 Posts

0 Threads

#4 10 years ago

Is he selling it or eating it? Because I would like a bite.




Dragonelf68

ಠ_ಠ

220,771 XP

24th September 2007

0 Uploads

19,359 Posts

0 Threads

#5 10 years ago

Jesus Christ! It's a raptor! become raptorjesus now!


kYuedqC.png



Dragonelf68

ಠ_ಠ

220,771 XP

24th September 2007

0 Uploads

19,359 Posts

0 Threads

#6 10 years ago

attachment.php?attachmentid=61843&stc=1&d=1202771400attachment.php?attachmentid=61844&stc=1&d=1202771400


kYuedqC.png



Sh0wdowN

Skeptic Extraordinaire.

50 XP

31st December 2003

0 Uploads

7,942 Posts

0 Threads

#7 10 years ago

Tyrannosaurus rex was a fierce predator that walked on two powerful legs. This meat-eater had a huge head with large, pointed, replaceable teeth and well-developed jaw muscles. It had tiny arms, each with two fingers. Each bird-like foot had three large toes, all equipped with claws (plus a little dewclaw on a tiny, vestigial fourth toe). T. rex had a slim, stiff, pointed tail that provided balance and allowed quick turns while running. T. rex's neck was short and muscular. Its body was solidly built but its bones were hollow.

[edit] More recent studies have shown that the T-Rex was, in fact, a ninja.




Dragonelf68

ಠ_ಠ

220,771 XP

24th September 2007

0 Uploads

19,359 Posts

0 Threads

#8 10 years ago

attachment.php?attachmentid=61846&stc=1&d=1202775867 Did somebody call for a half-assed crappy photoshop job?


kYuedqC.png



Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#9 10 years ago

what about Allah-Saurs? anyways that lesson taught me more than 9 years worth of schooling




Dragonelf68

ಠ_ಠ

220,771 XP

24th September 2007

0 Uploads

19,359 Posts

0 Threads

#10 10 years ago

Of course. Any lesson by lord wiener teachs more then 9 years of schooling.


kYuedqC.png