A Thesis on the One Known as 'ßeef' 15 replies

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#1 13 years ago

Pre-Context Throughout this paper the one referred to as 'ßeef' (henceforth known as 'Beef' due to the lack of a 'ß' key on the author's keyboard) shall be discussed. Context We shall examine Beef in all kinds of ways. Beef is a member on a forum named 'Gaming Forums', or 'GF', or 'Filefront Forums', or 'Chucky Chucky Ka-ping!-ia'. Introduction Beef is called such presumably because he is made of Beef. Throughout history we've referred to people through their traits. For example, a muscley man may be named 'Bob'. Because Beef is named Beef, the only conclusion I can make is that Beef is, in fact, made of Beef.

beef6qi.pngArtist's impression of Beef

Section 1: Origin of Beef Beef was not always named Beef. The one named Beef was onced called 'BeeF_Flaps'. Presumably Beef had flaps on the side of his arms, causing other beefs to append the suffix 'Flaps' to his name, to distinguish him. Reportedly, Beef is thinking of changing back to the flapped appendix out of lust. Section 2: Types Of Beef We are lucky here at Chucky Chucky Ka-ping!-ia forums. We have a healthy slab of Beef. Others, such as those in Gayspy's forums, have a nasty beef (infected with BSE, I might add) slab. A healthy Beef means we have healthy spam. On Gayspy, however, their spam is filled with messages such as: "spam, flup, gulp, w00t" et cetera. Section 3: Today's Beef In the two-thousand-and-fifth year of the calender, we enjoy the one named Beef and all his healthy spam. In the future, Farmer Giles hopes to make another Beef, bringing twice the spamming power to the forums. Section 4: Where Does Beef Come From? As touched upon above, Beef comes from Farmers. Sources indicate that Farmers don't create Beef, but beyond that no-one but the Beef himself knows. I walked around a place named "Chickenville" and asked where they thought Beef came from. Some responses: "I like chicken" "Beef? Isn't that what Mormans eat?" "My cat's breath smells like cat food" Clearly, they know but they're not telling us. I currently have a pro-Beef agent working in the town to get some answers. Conclusion Overall, Beef is in-human. Its spamming abilities are far more advanced than our own, and it seems to be able to stay awake for days on end through use of a develish substance named "Carlsburg Export". Clearly a Beef-only drug. Bibliography My sources mostly came from Farmer Giles. I've been asked to relay the following message: HALF PRICE BEEF CUTS AT FARMER GILES' FARM. COME GET IT, JUST PHONE 0800 066 066 FOR DETAILS! By the one named Reven due to it being 'neveR' backwards. Hah.




Master of Reality

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#2 13 years ago

:Puzzled:




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#3 13 years ago

Beta eef!




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#4 13 years ago

Chucky Chucky ka-Ping!-ia




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#5 13 years ago

post del triplata




Pethegreat VIP Member

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#6 13 years ago

????




M!tch VIP Member

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#7 13 years ago

ummmm.... help!!


Thinking about it.



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#8 13 years ago

!!!!




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#9 13 years ago

teh beef is teh 1337.




Guns4Hire

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#10 13 years ago

:wtf:




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