Amazingly Simple Home Remedies 6 replies

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RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

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28th July 2002

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#1 11 years ago

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the tooth ache. 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape. 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES .. . THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



rebornintheglory

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#2 11 years ago

You're a slinkie.




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

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#3 11 years ago

/me slaps reborn, then pushes him down the stairs

EDIT: Bring back the f'ing /me code dammit!!!


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



Guest

I didn't make it!

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#4 11 years ago

The duct tape/ WD-40 is so true it's not even funny. IN robotics we had a chair that I came to call the death chair. First we found it was supposed to spin but didn't, so we sprayed it with WD-40. However the WD-40 had the side effect of making it fall straight down if you sat in it(like a computer chair except more violently) so we duct taped it up.




rebornintheglory

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#5 11 years ago

I hate /you so much.




Person99

...

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5th December 2005

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#6 11 years ago
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the tooth ache. 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape. 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

1. I'll choke on the ice cube rather then drink boiling water and have my neck blister, and 3 hours later die. 2. Last time I did that I got arrested for murder. 3. I stick with the curtains, they absorb best. 4. I'll stick with the high blood pressure, thanks. 5. I don't use an alarm clock, I use an alarm dog. 6. Or even better - Take a cough drop. 7. Can that be a sledgehammer? 8. And if it only wiggles, use Duct-40. 9. Everyone is incredibly strange and weird, I am the only normal person. 10. Especially after following #6.




Junk angel

Huh, sound?

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#7 11 years ago
3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

Just get an operation Would make the world simpler

:->