Comrades, hear the call!
Defend the revolution from the counter-revolutionary deviationist, MercZ for crimes against the party, the state and the people. He seeks to usurp the democratically elected triumvirate of the people and replace it with a tyranny of dogmatic despotism of his own making! He sits on a throne of bayonets forged by Pubgeoisie nationalists! They seek nothing but to enslave you into reading their long-winded posts of srs bsns!
The list of his crimes are as follow:
1) Being a huge fgt piece of shit 2) Talking shit 3) And otherwise being a dookface
Furthermore, the Council of People's Commissars has voted unanimously to strip him of his commissarship. The Socially Progressive Awesome Movement of the Revolutionary Democratic People's Spampublic has expelled him from the party. He is a pariah, trying to establish a leper colony with your lives. Don't be fooled by his revisionism, defend your homeland and the Father of the Fatherland and Eternal Paramount Leader of the Spampublic, Red Menace!
I love you all,
Red Menace Chairman-Commissar of the Council of People's Commissars General-Secretary of the Socially Progressive Awesome Movement Premier of the Revolutionary Democratic People's Spampublic Father of the Fatherland Eternal Paramount Leader of the Spampublic Totally not a dookface, esquire
Fuck Mercz. I shall ally with you.
and I shall bring my NUCLEAR BALLISTIC SUBMARINE RED OCTOBER. (you just read that in a Sean Connery voice)
Oh god, he lives in Texas?! Fuck that.
I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the united pants of Menace.
I like bacon.
I'll side with whoever feeds me bacon. And hates ponies.