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Starvin Marvin

Mr. Niceguy

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1st December 2006

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#1 11 years ago

Change in Threat level & security status.

As many of us are aware, the French government recently announced a rise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It is not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing".

Two more levels remain. "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have three higher levels "Invade a neighbour", “Occupation” and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".

Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance".

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666.




Wraith 5

The Fun cannot be Halted!

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11th October 2005

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#2 11 years ago
Starvin Marvin;3539094

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".

Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance".

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666.

Quite right old chap.... troublesome terrorist types these days... pish-posh!




Mr. Matt VIP Member

#BanRadioActiveLobster

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#3 11 years ago

Tally ho! Bloody Johnny foreigners are causing a right old kerfuffle with our supply of crumpets, whatnot! Damnable scallywags...