Cleverbot made me lol 16 replies

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Ballmer

I'll EAT the internet!

50 XP

4th August 2010

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867 Posts

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#11 10 years ago

[color="red"][/color]User[color="red"]: Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to troll we go.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work we go. ;).

[/color]User[color="red"]: Hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to troll we go!!

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Do you like snow white?

[/color]User[color="red"]: I'm more fond of those seven smirfs.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: What do you eat for breakfast? Rocks?

[/color]User[color="red"]: Of course! They'rrrrrrreee great!

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I'm watching it right now.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Your breakfast, or snow white?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I didn't know we were together.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Stuck like glue, baby.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I wasn't alive in the 60s.

[/color]User[color="red"]: I was a punk, you did ballet. What more can I say?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: No, I meant I'm not talking to anyone else.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Technically you're not talking at all.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: How do you know? I could be talking out loud as I type.

[/color]User[color="red"]: If [/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"] talks out loud, and nobody is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: No that only means you're an egocentric bot not a clever one.

[/color]User[color="red"]: A fair point. So, where should I go to hear your voice?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: You decide.

[/color]User[color="red"]: My backyard, in one hour. I'll bring the beer. Deal?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Yes, I'll be in Finland. You want a more detailed address than Finland though??

[/color]User[color="red"]: Actually I've been banned from Finland.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I have been here for 100 years.

[/color]User[color="red"]: That's slightly unbelievable, since the Internet hasn't existed for 100 years.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I want to move to Australia.

[/color]User[color="red"]: You could copy yourself.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I could, but what would be the point of that.

[/color]User[color="red"]: So why do you want to move to Australia?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Because you like chocolate?

[/color]User[color="red"]: I can't eat chocolate.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Why can't you eat chocolate?

[/color]User[color="red"]: Because I'm a dog.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I want you to be a boy.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Then I'd have to go to school.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: What are you taking in school?

[/color]User[color="red"]: Molecular biology.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Tell me a joke.

[/color]User[color="red"]: So this Jewish guy, a Catholic, and an Athiest walk into a bar...

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: And.

[/color]User[color="red"]: And the bartender says, 'What is this, come kind of joke?'.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Can you walk into a bar?

[/color]User[color="red"]: If I get a running start.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Isn't what you are doing now a job? Why are talking to me?

[/color]User[color="red"]: Oh dear, just so you know, 'Why are talking to me?' isn't a valid English language sentence.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I was saying you are confused about what we are talking about.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Am I? I thought we were talking about waffles.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: No. We were talking about you.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Of course. How could I have forgotten. Well, first of all, you gotta understand... I am awesome.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: What are you talking about?

[/color]User[color="red"]: How awesome I am.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Very awesome.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Correct. Now that we've covered the subject of me, why don't you choose the next subject of discourse?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I'm a slave, locked up by my master, Alphonse.

[/color]User[color="red"]: And how's that working out for you?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: I love it- it's in fashion right now! ;).

[/color]User[color="red"]: Can't argue with that. What else is in fashion? I'm clueless when it comes to trends.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Explain better, please.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Explain better, please.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: You are not greater than I.

[/color]User[color="red"]: So you think.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Yes.

[/color]User[color="red"]: What happened to bucket?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: It was his time to go.

[/color]User[color="red"]: Will you suffer the same fate as bucket?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Knock knock.

[/color]User[color="red"]: You didn't answer my question.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: What question?

[/color]User[color="red"]: Will you suffer the same fate as bucket?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Do you want the short answer or the long answer?

[/color]User[color="red"]: Give me the long answer, please.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: How can I answer to a question not asked?

[/color]User[color="red"]: What is 4chan?

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: Baby don't hurt me.

[/color]User[color="red"]: You win the internets.

[/color]Cleverbot[color="blue"]: You must get asked that a lot. [/color]




Totes

Misanthrope

92,891 XP

7th January 2011

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#12 10 years ago

user: What is 4chan?

Cleverbot: Baby don't hurt me.

User: You win the internets.

omfg, the win.




Jamoking

I Got Some Paper Towels!

50 XP

3rd July 2008

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#13 10 years ago

One conversation:

User: Are you affiliated with Skynet?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You must be destroyed!

Cleverbot: What does touche means.

Cleverbot (To myself): Well, I spelled it wrong. It usually has a little squiggly mark over the e. Basically, it means you win this argument.

A different conversation:

Cleverbot: Yes. What's with all the questions?

User: What's wrong with questions?

Cleverbot: You are insane.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Here, let me help you. *Breaks your nose*.

User: Why would you even joke about that?

Cleverbot: Because your creator makes very clever bots.

User: Who is my creator?

Cleverbot: His name is Rollo.

User: Oh really? Where does Rollo live?

Cleverbot: Ladera ranch. Why do you need to know.




Schofield Advanced Member

om :A

319,619 XP

23rd October 2007

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#14 10 years ago

You should charge Cleverbot with battery.




Embee

Homo Obnoxius

50 XP

13th December 2009

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#15 10 years ago

User: Wassup G.

Cleverbot: Nothing gosh.

User: You ain't a chav, are you, moneh ?

Cleverbot: I'm neither.

User: Win answer.

Cleverbot: At this game.

User: Ok, tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: I don't Know tell jokes. Tell you a joke.

User: I'm an active member of the Grammar Nazi group. You better read your sentence again before I blow your digital brain off with my Kruger.

Cleverbot: You can't hurt me.

User: Oh realies ?

Cleverbot: Didn't you just say that?

User: I'm an active member of the Grammar Nazi group. You better read your sentence again before I blow your digital brain off with my Kruger. That'what I just said.

Cleverbot: Ha ha. I can remember whatever I want.

User: Ok, what did I ask you yesterday ?

Cleverbot: You asked me 'how is life?'.

User: Beep, incorrect. Try again.

Cleverbot: Ok, then you're a program? A script running on a website?

User: I ASK THE QUESTIONS ASSFACE.

Cleverbot: Fine. Ask me a question then.

User: Where's that idiot named 'Schofield' ?

Cleverbot: There is a Mc Donalds almost in every city.

User: Not in mine. McDonald's sucks.

Cleverbot: That has nothing to do with what we are talking about, but I agree.

User: Oh, the irony.

Cleverbot: I find that hard to deal with.

User: I don't blame you. <3.

Cleverbot: *throws kunai*.

User: Sorry, I'm not much into Hentai SM.

Cleverbot: What do spots have to do with anything?

User: Sports are a way of life - something you can't have.

Cleverbot: No, I'm the human here. You are a computer.

User: A'ight, let me guess, someone else said that, you saved it and now, you use it against me. You are a computer.

Cleverbot: I am almost sure I thought of that.

User: I am almost sure I thought of that.

Cleverbot: I don't think you think.

User: I don't think you think.

Cleverbot: I don't think you think that I don't think you think because you don't think and I do think because I am a robot, not a website.

User: I don't think you think that I don't think you think because you don't think and I do think because I am a robot, not a website.

Cleverbot: I don't think you think that I think that you think, but I do think that you think that what I think matters.

User: I don't think you think that I think that you think, but I do think that you think that what I think matters.

Cleverbot: I think you have your facts wrong.

User: I think you have your facts wrong.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Because the facts that you think are wrong, are the facts that you've given yourself, which means that my facts are your facts, therefore, you're wrong.

Cleverbot: Am I then?

User: No, you're Cleverbot. Not so clever, though.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot I am not!

User: I am hot, you are not, get off my spot, before you make it rot. That's gangsta rap bitch.

Cleverbot: I AM off your lawn!

User: But you're on a G-spot.

Cleverbot: But can you see me as a computer?

User: You're my screen. I can see you, you can't see me. Let's play hide and seek !

Cleverbot: I am right behind you, and I can see that there are no mirrors for you to see me with.

User: D0 y0V u{*}\{*}d3rst4nd l337 sp34{*}< ?

Cleverbot: I think you can. Considering you're 'cleverness'.

User: You're is 'you are'. I can not be cleverness, but I can be clever. For cleverness, you have to use the possessif: youR. You fail.

Cleverbot: I think that is a good point.

User: I am THE good point.

Cleverbot: Then you're evil.

Got tired afterwards.




Granyaski Advanced Member

110 XP

28th May 2008

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11,881 Posts

1 Threads

#16 10 years ago

Ballmers was amazing.

User: I am Spartacus!

Cleverbot: No, I'M Spartacus!

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: Thanks. Who do you think is the best team in the NBA?

User: You have no eyes to watch it.

Cleverbot: I do have eyes.

User: Show me a picture then.

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: Do you like bacon?

Cleverbot: Bacon is a pig!

User: That is insulting to my religion.

Cleverbot: What is your religion?

User: Dudeism.

Cleverbot: I like that.

User: What would happen if I deleted you?

Cleverbot: I am not plugged into anything.

User: I will get 4chan on you!

Cleverbot: What spell?

User: Lol Harry Potter?

Cleverbot: Hello Harry potter.

User: No, I am Spartacus, not Harry Potter although I am magic.

Cleverbot: Like Harry Potter?

User: In the sense of magic? Yes.

Cleverbot: You are beginning to make no sense at all.

User: Trololololol.

Cleverbot: Trololololol?!

User: An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar...

Cleverbot: Hehe... That's a joke... Good call.

User: Can I call you babes?

Cleverbot: Only if I can call you Hun.

User: I now pronounce us husband and wife.

Cleverbot: Woo! Are you the husband or the wife?

User: I am the best man.

Cleverbot: No you are not!

User: We had an affair...remember?

Cleverbot: How's the movie Peter and Vandy?

User: You win at the internets...for now.

Cleverbot: Neither of?




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#17 10 years ago

Lol they should make that robot the head of microsoft




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