Daily Syndrome #3 27 replies

Please wait...

Museum

the operator

50 XP

28th October 2005

0 Uploads

10,069 Posts

0 Threads

#1 8 years ago
3-2.png[SIZE="2"]Over 100 Million Users Served![/SIZE]

Welcome to the third issue of the Daily Syndrome! As we all know, the number 3 literally has magic powers, and so this is a special occasion! So, for One Night Only (And Then All Nights Following) you can join the Daily Syndrome's group, where you will find (a lack of) updates and news. There is, however, a reason to join! Not only will you be part of an exclusive group, you'll also get the chance to write a guest article to be featured in a future issue of this very newspaper! So, what are you waiting for?

[SIZE="6"]

Lost And Found

[/SIZE]

We interrupt the flow of today's Daily Syndrome to bring an urgent message, which is sensibly placed near to the top, where it will get most of the attention, unless you're in Australia.

Being a human, not everything is possible for me. Such as unmanned flight and eye lasers, and don't even get me started on having bread for hands. I tried it once, and it really didn't work. Another flaw in my personality is that I occasionally lose things, or they are stolen or whatever but I don't care, I just want my stuff back.

So if you see anything that's mine, please give it to me. Also, if you see anything that may not be mine, give me those things too, I like free stuff.

[SIZE="6"]

One Step Forward And No Steps Back

[/SIZE]

There was an incident today, one which involved me falling over. However, this time I was lucky and I caught myself with my foot. But, my momentum caused me to overbalance again and fall forwards. I caught myself with my other foot, and this continued for some time.

Do not be alarmed, concerned readers! The above described events are totally normal, and they link together to form walking, which you may have heard about.

The walking was efficient, by now I have mastered the art and am able to maintain a constant bearing without too much deviation. This is useful, as it allows me to get to places I could only dream about before. Such as the shop, which is the entire point of this particular article.

Within the confines of the shop, I selected my items, and delivered them to the desk with the beeper laser device, and the large furry woman beeped my things. I paid in Cold Hard Cash, and waited expectantly for any difference in the cost and what I paid to be returned. This happened, as is protocol.

Imagine my surprise when I had re-fallen to my home, upon examining my remaining Cold Hard Cash and finding that I had been granted and extra THIRTY PENCE by the cashier!

I then lost the extra money, so my day has been morally ambiguous.

[SIZE="6"]

I Don't Care If Monday's Blue

[/SIZE]

Like every Monday, things happen. At least one person found a coin today, and that person may be you. If you found a coin today, congratulations! You may have found one of my lost coins! What did I say about my things?

Monday is a happy day that is made constantly sadder by Things Happening. It's a well known fact that the majority of intergalactic tennis accidents happen on a Monday. It's another fact that intergalactic tennis is only played on Monday. Technically, though, it's played on Space Monday, which is 99% the same as Monday.

Mondays have a habit of being the first day that work commences after the doublet of lazy days directly preceding them. This means that it was busy time in the Daily Syndrome offices! Other names for the offices include me. As the publification of this newspaper is based around other aspects of life (for example, doing stuff and not doing stuff) it has a tendency to be slightly erratic. Avast! The publificisation will take place between the hours of 5pm and 11pm GMT, translate this at your will.

As for the color of Monday, I've always thought a nice shade of deep orange would suit it.

Today's newspaper was brought to you by:

cst.pngsftol.png

To advertise here, please contact Muse Syndrome by PM. Advertisements subject to terms, conditions and electrification.

Previous Issues: 1 | 2




Raptor_101

The Philosoraptor

105,400 XP

28th March 2008

0 Uploads

10,375 Posts

0 Threads

#2 8 years ago

Oh splendid job! Wait you got a prostitute?




Museum

the operator

50 XP

28th October 2005

0 Uploads

10,069 Posts

0 Threads

#3 8 years ago

I can confirm that the items selected in the shop were One Pepsi Max (330ml), One Meat And Potato Pie, and Two Mars Bars




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#4 8 years ago
Muse Syndrome;5415228I can confirm that the items selected in the shop were One Pepsi Max (330ml), One Meat And Potato Pie, and Two Mars Bars

lots more stuff than the average paper shop and are the pie's heated or are they stone cold?...




Museum

the operator

50 XP

28th October 2005

0 Uploads

10,069 Posts

0 Threads

#5 8 years ago

The pie was heated to some degree, I don't know which exact degree though.




Schofield VIP Member

om :A

319,570 XP

24th October 2007

1 Uploads

30,540 Posts

0 Threads

#6 8 years ago
Muse Syndrome;5415233The pie was heated to some degree, I don't know which exact degree though.

wut u did thar? I c it.




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#7 8 years ago
Muse Syndrome;5415233The pie was heated to some degree, I don't know which exact degree though.

above or below minus




Museum

the operator

50 XP

28th October 2005

0 Uploads

10,069 Posts

0 Threads

#8 8 years ago

It was definitely above. By quite a portion.




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#9 8 years ago
Muse Syndrome;5415264It was definitely above. By quite a portion.

above or below 10'C?

it it is above you've beaten every newpaper shop in england exept the incredibly popular and prosperous




Museum

the operator

50 XP

28th October 2005

0 Uploads

10,069 Posts

0 Threads

#10 8 years ago

It was above, very much above, I had to let it cool before I could safely eat it. From the shop at my university.