Diseases linked to names. 0 replies

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SpiderGoat

Nel mezzo del cammin

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5th December 2003

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#1 13 years ago

Was the conclusion of researches connected to the 'Vrije Universiteit Brussel' (Free University of Brussels) this friday. After a long and thorough research involving over 1000 testpersons (some participating through online enquete), scientists discovered that some diseases, most of which affect the brain, attack people with certain names.

Most of the diseases seem to be linked with the strange name 'Matt'. Even worse are all those who call themselves - and this goes for use of this name on the internet as well - 'Mr Matt'. Persons using this name are very likely to become criminal, mad or both. Some are unaware of their 'namedisease' until the age of 20. One very strange case was one of these Mr Matts, who joined the test from oversea (England). He suffered from every possible disease and psychological affection imaginable, including post-natal stress. The testperson - however - refused to give any details on his further whereabouts, age or sex. His obsession with koalas was yet another concern of scientists.

Further research will be needed to find out the big question "why?". Some of those involved believe that parents, who really hate their child, like to use these names to express that hate. Thanks to a lack of love in their childhood years - and the fact that they get spanked a lot*, many of the psychological factors seem to fall right into place.

The European Union is - working together with topscientists - putting together a 'dangerlist'. This list will soon be available for all parents, around the world. Only those living in Texas will be unable to read the list. In fact, EU scientists are encouraging those living there to use the name Mr Matt for every child born.

- Sarah Graham

www.sciam.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *: See the strange case of a certain Grossadmiral Dönitz from the Netherlands. (We always knew there was something wrong over there)