Don't worry! I'll save you!
/me's alternate personality takes over and starts punching himself in the head
Da da da daa! SuperMatt to the rescue!
Die you sick mental freak! Die you frickin' lunatic! DIE! DIE!
Who you callin' :n0e:? I'll shove melons up your arse for that, mate! Come 'ere!
Ack! Then I'll be the next Goatse guy! I'm intrigued!
OK then, stand perfectly still. If you hear something that sounds like tearing, don't worry, that's just me... uh... tearing my clothes for some reason.
What about the searing, burning anal pleasure?
Imagination. There are no ill effects from putting melons up your arse whatsoever, I promise.
/me has his hands behind his back, crossing his fingers
Will I be able to shit normally afterwards?
I think it's safe to say that being able to shit will be the least of your problems. Assuming you can remove the melon afterwards, that is. That's your problem.
Shit. It's time to pull out my custom made melon-stuck-in-my-ass-pants, with large holes in the fabric in conveniant places :naughty:
Has it occured to you that we are having an alternating conversation between to threads in two different forums. This is unheard of.