don't shave 90 replies

Please wait...

Jackthehammer

You can either agree with meor be wrong.

50 XP

12th November 2003

0 Uploads

16,767 Posts

0 Threads

#1 10 years ago

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic ****- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!




Chocu1a

Feel my heat, Heavens on fire.

45,365 XP

3rd August 2005

0 Uploads

4,209 Posts

0 Threads

#2 10 years ago

Rofl!!!!




Guest

I didn't make it!

0 XP

 
#3 10 years ago

O...k Man....lmAo




Hybrid Theory

The one the Ban Hammer missed

50 XP

18th May 2007

0 Uploads

918 Posts

0 Threads

#4 10 years ago

uuuh wtf lol




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

565,402 XP

28th July 2002

0 Uploads

53,121 Posts

1,330 Threads

#5 10 years ago

:Puzzled:

We still love you.


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



Junk angel

Huh, sound?

166,880 XP

29th January 2007

0 Uploads

15,678 Posts

0 Threads

#6 10 years ago

/me stares in utter unbelief




Polska

"The original one"

62 XP

19th September 2004

0 Uploads

5,969 Posts

0 Threads

#7 10 years ago

I c wut u did thar.

Readed the same story on another forum 3 years ago. :p




caleb1117

Smilie sigs annoy me

50 XP

5th May 2006

0 Uploads

196 Posts

0 Threads

#8 10 years ago

ROFLMAO!

Note to self, never shave the ***beard.

Thanks for sharing your painful insight.




rebornintheglory

keyboard warrior

50 XP

20th January 2006

0 Uploads

22,190 Posts

0 Threads

#9 10 years ago

Polska;4233861I c wut u did thar.

Readed the same story on another forum 3 years ago. :p

Yeah. I've stumbled it before, still as unpleseant.




Liquid fire

I pretend I'm cooler than AzH

50 XP

10th June 2006

0 Uploads

4,322 Posts

0 Threads

#10 10 years ago

PUKE , and throw up anyone?