Post one of your favorites.
"Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML"
"Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad."
I thought that one was pretty funny.
I didn't make it!
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
"Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dads words of wisdom were "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML"
"Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML"
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
IcePure;4803150"Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML"
I actually had a similar experience, only I wasn't masturbating. I was walking around my house in my underwear at midnight while a group of people were TPing my house. A friend told me about it the next day and I said it could have been worse because some times I walk around in the nude.
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead."