F*** my life 34 replies

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Dot Com

I'm too cool to Post

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26th June 2000

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#1 10 years ago

F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories.

Post one of your favorites.

"Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML"




Mitch Connor

Spamulous Spamitopian

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7th August 2008

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#2 10 years ago

"Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad."

I thought that one was pretty funny.




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#3 10 years ago
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

Hilarious.




Sl4sh

UPGRADING TO PRO

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15th June 2006

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#4 10 years ago

"Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dads words of wisdom were "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML"

hahaha




IcePure

Pimp of FileFront.

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30th January 2008

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#5 10 years ago

"Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML"

:rofl:




Master Chief 14

Some Dude

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22nd October 2005

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#6 10 years ago

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.




Mitch Connor

Spamulous Spamitopian

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7th August 2008

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#7 10 years ago

IcePure;4803150"Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML"

:rofl:

I actually had a similar experience, only I wasn't masturbating. I was walking around my house in my underwear at midnight while a group of people were TPing my house. A friend told me about it the next day and I said it could have been worse because some times I walk around in the nude.




Sl4sh

UPGRADING TO PRO

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15th June 2006

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#8 10 years ago

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML




elevatormusic

slouching toward nirvana

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19th July 2006

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#9 10 years ago

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead."




Red Menace

SCHOFIELD DID 4/30

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10th August 2004

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#10 10 years ago
Today I found my daughter on facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

Now that is just fucked up.


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